IDS #272 - Pancakes and Outhouses

Holy Crap this might be our best episode ever! 

We discuss companies besides Cracker Barrel who screwed up their logo, getting disrespected at a gender reveal party, attacking crowd members with metal kazoos, that time Gumby had to fight Robots and so much more. It's like being punched in the face with coolness!

#GUMBY #OASIS #CRACKERBARREL #KOHLER #TAYLORSWIFT #COMEDY #PODCASTS

Transcript

Do you ever look at your Facebook Memories? Every picture is of you when younger

>> Darin: Do you ever look at your Facebook Memories?

>> Mike: Ah.

>> Darin: August 26, 2020. My son spent most of this evening trying to cough and sniff at the same time. Are there any gifted and talented programs where we can enroll him? One time, a guy handed me a.

>> Mike: Picture of me saying, here's a picture.

>> Darin: Of me when I was younger. Every picture is of, you when you were younger.


Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast

>> Dave: It's time for Irritable Dad Syndrome. Now with Lemon Fresh Scent, put your hands together for your hosts, Mike and Darren.

>> Darin: Good morning. I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I am, Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast. This is episode 272. Why did I start the show with good morning? Because I was looking at a lot of our stats, statistics, and there are many people who download our episode in the morning and listen to us on their drive to work. They listen to us while they're working out. They're doing their morning jog. They're taking their dog for the walk in the morning, and I want to wish you guys good morning and thank you for listening to this particular episode. Thank you for listening to every episode. How you doing? How you doing, Mike?

>> Mike: Hi.

>> Mike: People also listen to our episode when they're walking down the street. When m. They're walking their dog, they're doing laundry.

>> Darin: I said both of those things.

>> Mike: When they're going to the bathroom. Typically, number two, because it's a lengthy show.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Number two. But hey, if you put it on double speed, triple speed, we get it. You can get it out in a number one.

>> Darin: We hope everything comes out okay.

>> Mike: Sometimes we have shorter episodes.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Those are weeks. When we, quote, phone it in.

>> Darin: That's. No, that's not.

>> Mike: This week, it's happened. 272 episodes. I'm going to tell you it's happened. I tell you what, let's make a contest out of it. If you can bring us an episode, comment in it. Comment on our Facebook page. An episode where we clearly phoned it in. Let us know.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And you'll win a, prize.

>> Darin: We'll autograph something.

>> Mike: We'll autograph an episode.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Put it right back.

>> Darin: We will, we'll go through, we'll find a rundown, we'll autograph that, and we'll send it to you.

>> Mike: Yeah, I'm on Monster tonight.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: it's not.

>> Darin: I'm not feeling it making me nervous, am I?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: You don't know what's going to happen.

>> Darin: No, I don't. Well, I never know what's going to happen on these episodes.

>> Mike: I'm like that guy with the hatchets in Cobra. Remember that guy that would clink the hatchets together.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: While Sylvester Stallone is chewing on that match.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Darin: Cobra was pretty good.

>> Mike: It was a good movie.

>> Darin: I like that. You know what? Sylvester Sloan movie I really like that. Doesn't get enough. love still.

>> Mike: Tango and Cash, I never saw. I have never seen Tango and Cash.

>> Darin: Oh, man.

>> Mike: And I enjoy both Tango and Cash.

>> Darin: And I. I don't know which one's Tango and which one's Cash, but the two of them were perfect together.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: Kurt Russell never looked better. Although that's not true. Kurt Russell still looks. I don't like Kurt Russell. I do like Kurt Russell, but he pisses me off that he's what, 77, 78? He's still just dreamy. He pisses me off.

>> Mike: And that was back in the days of Harley Davidson and the Marble Man.

>> Darin: Marble Man. Mickey Rourke and Don Johnson.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Mike: And, Bo and Luke Duke.

>> Mike: Huh? Uh-huh.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Dom and Dahmer.

>> Darin: Jake and the Fat Man.


Larry Appleton and Valkyrie have reunited on Perfect Strangers

Okay, we need to stop this line of questioning.

>> Mike: So Larry Appleton and Valkyrie.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Perfect Strangers. Do you have a plan?

>> Dave: Well, of course I do.

>> Mike: Don't be ridiculous.

>> Darin: You know, I saw them on Tick Tock.

>> Mike: Yeah, I'm starting to see Reunited.

>> Darin: You know who I saw on Tick Tock?

>> Mike: You're not very good at podcasting, are you?

>> Darin: Why do you think that he was there?

>> Mike: You know? Yeah.

>> Darin: Mark Lynn Baker and Bronson Pinchot.

>> Mike: Pinch.

>> Darin: Pinchot. Have reunited. And they were doing it for one of those events.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: One of those, Hey, hey, come meet these stars of yesterday.

>> Mike: Like Comic Con.

>> Darin: Or Comic Con.

>> Mike: Yeah, TV Con. Or.

>> Darin: They were interacting. It's like they'd never separated. They were fantastic together. And I forgot how great they were on Perfect Strangers.

>> Mike: So you know who else is reunited?

>> Mike: Who's that?

>> Mike: Oasis.

>> Darin: Oasis.

>> Mike: And I will be seeing them on Thursday night.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: I'm excited, and I'm even more excited by the fact that there's finally. They've been all lovey dovey and. And brotherly love and misty eyed and all this stuff. There's finally a video of Liam giving it back to the crowd.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: who wanted him to throw a tambourine in the audience.

>> Darin: Oh.

>> Mike: And he said, and I quote, well, you think I'm made of tambourines? You think? It's all I got up here. It's tambourines. I just gave you a tambourine. You want a Morocca? And he said, like, you want a maraca? I got tons of these things. And then. And then some. One of the stage hands said something.

>> Darin: K I n and fukin.

>> Mike: And then the next day, which is today.

>> Darin: Do I have to bleep out fukin?

>> Mike: No, you're good with.

>> Darin: I can keep fook, but I have to bleep out.

>> Mike: Right, Exactly. And so the next day, which would be today, an article came out saying that, the stage people have warned, Liam that he's not allowed to throw maracas into the crowd.

>> Darin: Well, yeah, he could hurt somebody.

>> Mike: He could, but that's part of the fun of a live event.

>> Darin: Oh, God. Years and years ago, we were at, downtown Cincinnati for the, the world's largest gathering of them, doing the chicken dance.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And Mini me, Vern Troyer was leading the chicken dance. And he could not have been less excited to be there. I mean, he was basically looking at everybody like, where's my check?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And so the girls are there, and they're dressed like they, you know, the German chickens, the German Hofra house looking girls. Right?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And they thought it was a smart idea to throw kazoos out into the audience. These kazoos are the metal kazoos. Oh, them sons of bitches hurt.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And people were getting pissed and hurling them back. And one of them beamed this chick right square between the eyes.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: It got ugly. And Libby and I were like, do we need to go? Do we need to get the hell out of here? And by the way, I did not throw a kazoo back. But, I mean, they were throwing these metal kazoos and they hurt. You hand those out. So don't throw maracas, don't throw tambourines.


Someone told me we need to be more topical on our podcast

Speaking of news of the day, current events.

>> Mike: Correct.

>> Darin: Somebody was telling HM me. You know what? During your podcast, if you guys were more timely, more events of the day.

>> Mike: If you were good at this, I'm sorry, is that.

>> Darin: If we would just give it a try.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: you know, more topical. Yeah, we need to be more topical, as they said. Basically. And I said, why don't you get a podcast and I'll tell you to be more topical.

>> Mike: Topical ointment.

>> Darin: How topical can you get?


Today? Taylor Swift is getting engaged. I'm assuming they're both happy

Today? Taylor Swift is getting engaged.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Tay Tay is getting engaged?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: I thought she was already engaged.

>> Darin: No, no.

>> Mike: Is it to the Travis Schmidt.

>> Darin: Travis, Kelsey, Travis, Kelsey, Kelsey.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I work with a woman who is, my age, and she is giddy like a teenager about this. She is just like, so, so, so excited.

>> Mike: So when's Tay Tay's big day.

>> Darin: I don't know. Looking to see if you and I are invited. But the thing is, as soon as I saw this, I thought, oh, I can't wait to go on social media and listen to the people who don't care.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Express how much they don't care about this.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Because if you really don't care, then you would just not say anything. But there are people who go out of their way to say, I could care less. I could give Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey.

>> Mike: Then, for the past three or four years, the way I found out about most of this inane, it's from people who don't care about it saying, who cares about what? And then I like, what are they talking about? And I find out from, yeah, nobody cares about. And then they give a little bit more information. And the people that I presume do care about it.

>> Mike: Aren't really talking about it.

>> Darin: No, they're not.

>> Mike: I'm happy for her and him. I'm assuming they're both happy. I hope, I'm hoping there wasn't some sort of, you know, I don't want to go dark here.

>> Darin: I hope she made.

>> Mike: I hope there wasn't a, Hey, you either put a ring on this finger, right. Or I'm gonna tell them about that, thing, that thing with the stuff we share a brain.

>> Darin: Brain.

>> Mike: So I hope it was a. That it's a, Holy matrimony.

>> Darin: I do, I do, I wish them.

>> Mike: Do you think she's gonna sing at her own wedding or does she. And if I don't think so, because would that be weird?

>> Darin: She'll come through. Shake it off.

>> Mike: It's kind of like, it's kind of like making your own, Baking your own cake on your birthday. I mean, people do it.

>> Darin: I've done that.

>> Mike: I've done it.

>> Darin: I did it last.

>> Mike: I've told people it's my birthday. Made a cake, ate it, and it wasn't anywhere near my birthday.

>> Darin: Did you make. What's fun is when you make your cake and then you make people watch you eat it.

>> Mike: I went through a dark. I went through a dark period of my life. Oh yeah, this was just last year where every time I went to Costco, I would get a birthday cake. And then in. Ah, the line.

>> Darin: Every time, every time.

>> Mike: We only go to Costco like once a month or something like that.

>> Darin: Okay, that's 12. That's 12 birthdays a year.

>> Mike: That's right.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: And I, while we were in line To. To check out.

>> Mike: I would Google whose birthday it was.

>> Darin: Happy birthday, David.

>> Mike: So we know we celebrated Antonio Banderas's birthday, guy. Yeah, I, think we celebrated Bruce Willis's birthday once. Yahoo. Serious. Who raised a cake, a piece of cake to him.

>> Mike: yeah.

>> Darin: Whatever happened to good old Yahoo? Sirius.

>> Mike: You know, he cleaned himself up.

>> Darin: I know, I saw that movie, but I can't remember one thing about it.

>> Mike: Young Einstein.

>> Darin: Young Einstein. That's. That's right.

>> Mike: Google that and get on a list.


The toilet upstairs would periodically go. Periodically. So I reached out to Kohler for help

But the other thing is the. All these people who don't care about something.

>> Darin: That's why my computer is a virus.

>> Mike: the people who don't give about it.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, I had.

>> Darin: Anyway, it's gone.

>> Mike: You edit all of me when I. When I tap the finger.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: From there forward.

>> Darin: I edit that out of you. I edit that out.

>> Mike: I want to address that for a minute. I can't help that. Something. It's like you start laughing and you hack up a yak. That's right. Sometimes.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And I, I do. Sometimes I can't get it up and drive the family crazy. She said at 1 in the morning. Because I'm like in like an old man. I'm in the bedroom. And then Bess is like, are you okay?

>> Darin: And John Candy. I am. And then you start.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: I have quit washing my socks in the sink, though.

>> Mike: I've quit doing that.

>> Darin: Hey, if I don't clear my sinuses. Yeah, I'll be up all night.

>> Mike: you know what?

>> Darin: He was doing that. Yeah, he was scratching himself.

>> Mike: You.

>> Dave: You're listening to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's.

>> Darin: Comedy podcast, Me a Goofy Woo. I'm having a great day.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: a lot of times we come into this podcast and I've had, either something stressful or, or did something stupid or, you know, at the house. The past two or three months have been nuts because we had our deck replaced and we had our bathroom remodeled. We are going to have, by the way, you and your lovely wife Bess are invited. We are going to have a pee party at our house. What's a pee party? Okay, well, we've got three brand new toilets in our house and we're going to have a party and everyone is allowed to use any of the three toilets in our house. We're going to have a pee party, come to our house and use our toilets. And I'm very excited because for the longest. Okay, so like I said, we bought three brand new toilets and the one upstairs will, Would periodically go.

>> Mike: Oh, that's awesome.

>> Darin: Yeah, water would. Would just go just like randomly, right? And then the one in our hall bathroom, water just kept running, running, running, running, running. And, you adjust the water level. Do you know how to adjust the water level in the tank? Yeah, okay. I didn't, but I just replaced the.

>> Mike: Internals of the tank.

>> Mike: You.

>> Mike: Did you replace the whole toilet? The whole turtle?

>> Darin: I did not replace the toilet. So like I said, the toilet upstairs, we were dealing with the. Periodically. Even though I didn't like it, but we were dealing with that. It's the one downstairs in the hall that was really bothering me because the water would constantly.

>> Mike: That's not good.

>> Darin: Non stop. Yeah, our water bill is going to go through the roof. M. So I reached out to the fine folks at Kohler. Now listen up, folks. This is how you do customer service. I called Kohler and I said, look, I bought a brand new turlet. We had a professional install it, okay? The guy, the people who pro, the pro. The people who are remodeling our bathroom installed our turlet. The water keeps running. He assures me that it's a leaky valve.

>> Mike: And, Kohler said, yeah, yeah, valve.

>> Darin: Kohler says, well, we will replace that.

>> Mike: There you go.

>> Darin: We will send you a new one.

>> Mike: Okay?

>> Darin: So they sent me a new one and then I called them up and I'm like, what am I supposed to do? I don't know how to replace a leaky valve. I have no idea what to do because from what I've heard, you put.

>> Mike: It in the turret.

>> Darin: You've got to, you've got to like, redo the. Now, I don't want anybody calling up and, and dialing in and telling me that I'm. I'm going to tell you right now. I know I'm dumb. I don't. You're dumb. I don't do handyman stuff, Okay?


Darren says he's frustrated because his new toilet doesn't work

I don't know how to replace a leaky valve. Kohler says, hire a plumber. Have them come out and replace the leaky valve or the, the fill valve thing and then send us the invoice and we will reimburse you. And that happened today.

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Darin: And so here's the deal. So I call this, we've used this ace handyman service. We've used them before. I call them up and they tell me they can't come out for like two weeks. And the guy could tell that I'm. I'm like, I'm like, I'm not. I'm not frustrated with you. I'm, frustrated situation.

>> Mike: He's, yes, we shot down at least five enemy aircraft.

>> Darin: Exactly. Said, I'm frustrated because we got this brand new turlet. We can't use it. Well, I mean, we can use it, but we constantly have to turn the water off after we. Because the water just runs and runs and runs and runs and runs.

>> Mike: Do you say turlet in normal conversation now?

>> Darin: Sometimes. Okay, sometimes.

>> Mike: Because I do. I.

>> Darin: Sometimes I do. I catch myself. And I said, we can't use it because we constantly have to turn the water on and off. And he says, hang on a second, let me look. And you know what? Let me. Let me send somebody out Wednesday. I said, okay, that'll be great. That'll m. Be fantastic. So he was supposed to come tomorrow, right?

>> Mike: Tomorrow's Wednesday.

>> Darin: Yet tomorrow was Wednesday on the day that we're recording this. This morning I wake up and there's a text. Turns out we had a cancellation. We can come today, like after one o' clock if that's. That works for you. Oh, yeah, it works for me. That's perfect. Yeah. And then I get a call and it's the guy from the handyman service that says, I'm right down the street, can I show up now? I said, yes, you can. So here it is, nine something in the morning.

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Darin: And the guy comes out and he fixes the toilet. And it was fantastic. And I'm like, the thrill of having all three toilets work now. And I'm beside myself because so sick of having toilets that don't work. That's a sign of being an old man when your toilet works. And you're happy about that.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But anyway, so I reached out to Kohler and I said, hey, this guy came and fixed my toilet. What do I do now? and they gave me the website, the. The email address of where to send the invoice. And I'm on the phone with the guy, Matthew, at Kohler Customer Service. He says, tell you what, Darren, why don't you send that email to me now and I'll get the ball rolling. Whoa. And so I sent it and he goes, hang on. Oh, I've got it. Okay, I'm pushing it through right now. And then I. Before the end of the day, I've got this text that says, we're working on getting your reimbursement. Thanks, Kohler.

>> Mike: See, now, back in the day, I mean, you could.

>> Darin: Not that hard.

>> Mike: Couldn't do that. It would be, you. Dearest Matthew.

>> Mike: Yep.

>> Mike: Our children, my wife, four children are backed up. henceforth, please send help immediately.

>> Darin: It's been 40 days. It's been 40 nights.

>> Mike: 40 days. Four score days.

>> Darin: Seven years.

>> Mike: Seven years since we have Defecated properly. M. Send help forthwith. And you would. You would tie that to a raven's leg and send it out the thing. And then. And then within two, years, Matthew would.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Mike: He was started out with a party of 15 people and only three of them.

>> Darin: I've sent five of my strongest men.

>> Mike: They had to ford a river most beautiful. They lost an ox. Somebody got pregnant. They had a child. They arrived with.


My dad had an outhouse. Now my dad actually used the outhouse

They. They came with 15 people, but it was. 12 of them were different.

>> Darin: Well, yeah, of course.

>> Mike: And he's a haggard. He's a haggard man. And along the way he contracted syphilis. He lost some of his faculties. But not, not.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Not to where he couldn't fix your turlet.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: And he went straight to work. Straight, Matthew, straight to work. Even though you and Libby had prepared a Meal. A cornucopia.

>> Darin: Oh yes.

>> Mike: Of rice and beans and corn. Maize maze.

>> Darin: And chicken from the pork. Chicken from the garden.

>> Mike: And you know. And then he would go into the room of your turlet.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And he would fix it. and then he would expire.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: The horns.

>> Mike: And you would bury him in your backyard. And you would. You would put a cross.

>> Darin: Citizens of Belfast.

>> Mike: And you would.

>> Darin: Our new turlet.

>> Mike: Right. You would stand around his freshly dug grave with your children.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: And your wife.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: And you would say a few words about Matthew the. The plumber.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Mike: Who saved your families. And I don't think I'm exaggerating here.

>> Mike: No.

>> Mike: Life.

>> Darin: Life.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Mike: That's how it would have been 30, 40 years ago. But to these days.

>> Mike: Send it right over email.

>> Darin: You know, my. My dad had an outhouse.

>> Mike: Really?

>> Darin: Yes. My dad still like here was It's 10 years ago that dad died. And here I am trying to sell his house. And the guy who was interested in it, I said look, I understand you know it's going to be your property, you do whatever you want to with it, but are you going to keep the outhouse? And he said well of course I'm going to keep the outhouse. That gives this place its character. And I was so happy that the guy was going to keep the outhouse. Now my dad actually from time to time used the outhouse. You'd look in it and he had a bag of Lye and. Ah, a newspaper.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: Oh, a match.

>> Mike: That's right.

>> Mike: So with the, the sheer number of outhouses.

>> Mike: And anuses that existed in this country.

>> Darin: There's our title years. Outhouses and anuses.

>> Mike: It had to have happened. It had to have happened that someone at some point, themselves, while they were trying to put on their shoes to go to the outhouse.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Mike: They're in the middle of tying their shoes in the dark and, you know, nature takes its course because they didn't.

>> Darin: Have flip flops or slides.

>> Mike: Not back. Not back in these days.

>> Darin: You had to put your Dutch.

>> Mike: Well, that's why the Dutch had wooden shoes.

>> Darin: They just popped in there.

>> Mike: and then everybody hears them clopping along those cobblestone paths they had all through their yard. Oh, yeah, Sven's taking it. It's not a such name. It's a Norwegian, not Dutch at all. What's a good Dutch name? Schwarvensson. That's another Norwegian name.

>> Darin: Schwarberson. Schwarberson.


Sven Schwarzen: I'm watching an old episode of Gumby

>> Mike: Sven Schwarzen. They're clodding around at three in the morning, taking a. Hey, Sven, why don't you eat dinner a little earlier? And with the rest of us.

>> Darin: Have you ever watched an old TV show or old movie? we're talking like old, old. And then you're really caught up at how it has a message that resonates with, things that happen today.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Mike: Yes. I've always considering what you said.

>> Darin: I'm watching this old, old episode of Gumby.

>> Mike: Okay. I'm okay. I'm all right.

>> Darin: I haven't got to the footage for you. It's just.

>> Mike: I wasn't expecting that.

>> Darin: And Gumby. Right, Gumby. I'm searching through Gumby.

>> Mike: Damn it.

>> Darin: I'm Gumby. Damn it. Yeah, I'm searching through, On Roku, on the Roku Channel.

>> Mike: Who farted?

>> Darin: Or was it Roku or Tubi? Is.

>> Mike: They're all the same.

>> Darin: It was one of those free things. And it's Crackle Gumby. Yeah. I'm like, okay, so I'm watching Gumby, and there was an episode called Robot Rumpus. Here's the premise. Gumby is out doing chores. He's mowing the grass. And his best friend, Pokey. Pokey. Thank you. The little orange horse, he comes back, hey, Gumby, wanna play? And Gumby says, I don't know, Pokey. I've got lots of chores to do. And then Pokey says, well, like, what if we didn't have to or something. He says, I got an idea. Come with me. So they get in their car, and they drive over to where all these robots are stored in this. This big garage.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And so they take five or six robots and they put them in the back of their truck. Thing their automobile.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And they drive them back. And Gumby has this great idea. So he's got one robot cutting the grass. He's got one robot, with a hoe. In the. What? With a hoe.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: In the flower bed.

>> Mike: Oh, that's.

>> Darin: I guess, Weedy.

>> Mike: You get thorns that way.

>> Darin: He's got one robot painting the house.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Another robot painting the fence. And then he's got one robot taking out the trash. And one. I'm thinking, my God. How many chores does Gumby's parents make him do?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: This is prison.

>> Mike: Does he have parents? I thought he was independent.

>> Darin: He has. He. He does have parents. His father is Gumbo.

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Darin: His mother is Gumba. Gumba. Gumba is green. Gumbo is orange.

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Darin: Which leads to the question, how is.

>> Mike: I guess Gumbo may not be Gumby's real dad.

>> Darin: Maybe. Maybe that's. There's questioning because Pokey's orange. Yes. You're one step ahead of me.


Gumby and Poke and Pokey robots don't drink milk

Okay, so. So Gumba and Gumbo are parents of Gumby. Right. So Gumby's like, I'm gonna let, these robots do all my work. And then they go inside. Hey, mom, can we have a glass of milk? And the mom says, sure. So she pours them a glass of milk.

>> Mike: The robots want milk.

>> Darin: No, no. Gumby and Poke and Pokey robots don't drink milk.

>> Mike: I know. That's why I was concerned. You mess up their gears.

>> Darin: That's right. Plus, they're lactose intolerant. That's right.

>> Mike: They won't stand for it.

>> Darin: So Gumby and Pokey say, can we have some milk? And the mom says, sure. She pours them some milk. And then they ask, hey, can we have some crackers?

>> Mike: Which is weird.

>> Darin: Who's gonna eat crackers and milk? And the mom's like, yeah, you boys can have some crackers. And then the mom's like, hold on a second. I thought you had chores to do. And Gummy says, check it out. Look what I'm doing out there. So the mom. The mom works smarter. She looks out the window, and she sees the robots doing all these chores. She says, and I quote, how clever. How very clever of, you. Well, everything's fine and great until the robots turn.

>> Mike: Skynet became self.

>> Darin: Aware. Exactly. They turned into Ultron.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And one Robot, the one who is weeding the garden, starts digging this ditch like he's going to China.

>> Mike: He's looking for the Infinity Stone.

>> Darin: Exactly. The robot who is mowing the grass. Mowed three through the fence.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: The robot who was painting the house started painting the white house red. And he's painting up and down, all the way up. He's painting over the windows.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: The robot who was taking out the trash is like throwing trash.

>> Mike: There you go.

>> Darin: Everywhere. One robot starts lifting up the house.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Like the. Lifting up the whole entire house. Off of its,

>> Mike: House. Yeah.

>> Mike: Off its foundation.

>> Darin: Off its foundation. Thank you, Mike. Well, Mom, Gumba, she's like, what's going on? So she calls. She calls Gumba's dad, Gumbo. Now, Gumbo works at the firehouse. He is a fireman. A fireman. He's a firefighter.

>> Mike: Firefighter.

>> Darin: He's a firefighter. And she says, help, help. You gotta get home. Help. He says, I'll be right there, honey. And he gets in his fire truck.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: Oh, he brings the fire truck home.

>> Darin: He brings the fire truck.

>> Mike: Can't use company like government property for personal.

>> Darin: Personal use. He sure did.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: He sure did. Yeah.

>> Mike: I guess that's how is in Gumbo land.

>> Darin: Exactly. Yeah. Write that off and see what your supervisor thinks. So Gumbo shows up, and then he looks and he's like, what the hell is going on here?

>> Mike: It's pretty apparent.

>> Darin: And he runs and he starts turning these robots off with their switch that's on the back. But he would turn one robot off and then go and try to turn off another robot.


Gumby uses robots to help his dad mow the lawn

One robot would go. And the one. The robots that turns off, he would.

>> Mike: Turn it back because they're self aware.

>> Darin: They're self aware.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Again, Ultron. Yeah, right. And he's like, honey, are you okay? She's like, oh, I'm so scared. And something, something. And then Gumby thinks, I need to help dad out.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: He's laying on his ass over there eating crackers and drinking milk. Like a weird.

>> Darin: That he started. Yeah, Right. And so he runs out and starts helping his dad. They turned off a robot and turned off another robot. They got the house back down on the ground. But the one that was digging the ditch, like, to China, his dad said.

>> Mike: Just let him go.

>> Darin: There's only one way to stop this one. And what does he do? He throws a wrench at the robot.

>> Mike: Oh, oh, violence.

>> Darin: Just throw a wrench at a robot. He throws it. What does the robot do?

>> Mike: Throws it back.

>> Darin: He throws it back. And it goes through. Through Gumba's chest. Oh, my. And it makes the imprint of a wrench. It goes right through. And what does this turn into?

>> Mike: A saw movie?

>> Darin: Well, this is what the badass part was. He regenerates. He looks at us. Yeah. He looks at his chest like, I've got a wrench hole in my chest.

>> Mike: And he just wolverines it away.

>> Darin: He reforms. And then Gumby gets a giant crane, a construction crane.

>> Mike: Just pour water down the hole. Yeah, yeah, right.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Robots hate water.

>> Mike: Basically. Douche him out of there.

>> Darin: Gumby comes over with the crane, really drops it down there and grabs the robot by the back and pulls it up. And they. So they got that robot out the ditch.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And then they turn that one off. And then Gumba and Gumbo are really pissed at Gumby. And I'm thinking, mom, you know, you have no right to be pissed, because literally 10 minutes ago you're like, that's clever.

>> Mike: Oh, how clever.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Listen, if you're not for him using robots to do the chores, you need to call that off at the start.

>> Mike: Is nobody asking questions about why there's a warehouse full of semi sentient.

>> Darin: Nope.

>> Mike: Robot warriors down the street from a pack of mentally impaired gum based life forms. Where's the. Where's the police? Where's the professors? Where's the damn intelligentsia stopping this from happening?

>> Darin: Gum based life forms?

>> Mike: I mean, they can just pop in their car, drive down to the Skynet Incorporated.

>> Darin: So not only is there a warehouse full of robots, you can just walk right in and get as good as you want.

>> Mike: Just take them.

>> Darin: Yeah, just floor models, throw them in the back of the car.

>> Mike: Demo models.

>> Darin: Right, right. But this is. In my opinion, this is AI all over again. wacky Gumby. And it ends with Gumbo and Gumba, arms crossed. Ah, Stern look. They. Boy, were they pissed.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And then watching Gumby mow the grass, sweat all over him, just sweating like crazy. And they're looking at him like, yeah, you're damn right you're mowing the grass.

>> Mike: What was Pokey doing when all the robots went crazy? Pokey was like, oh, I'm out of here.

>> Darin: He didn't leave, but he certainly didn't do anything to help. And it was Pokey's idea to do this to begin with, so Thanks a lot, Pokey. Yeah, thanks a lot.


Chris Michael and his wife Mary are expecting their second child

>> Dave: Time now for a deleted clip from a previous episode that you probably wouldn't have known was deleted if we had never brought attention to it.

>> Darin: You know, Chris, Michael.

>> Mike: I do. Okay, so I punched him on New Year's Eve.

>> Darin: Chris Michael and his wife Mary are going to have another baby.

>> Mike: Now, how many babies does that make?

>> Darin: That's gonna make three for them.

>> Mike: Three. Oh, it's the magic number. Yeah, it is. Okay. Okay.

>> Darin: So I'm gonna flash back.

>> Mike: Okay. Okay.

>> Darin: When they got pregnant the first time. This was during COVID Yeah.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: So they couldn't do the.

>> Mike: How did they get pregnant wearing a mask?

>> Darin: well, I'll tell you after the podcast.

>> Mike: Okay. All right.

>> Mike: Was there when they peacock involved.

>> Darin: When they were. It was in their neighborhood.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: When they got pregnant and they wanted to make the announcement, they couldn't have a public gathering because of COVID Yeah. So I came over and took the photograph for them, and they posted it. So I knew they were pregnant before anybody knew they were pregnant. Right.

>> Mike: And.

>> Darin: And then when they were going to do the gender reveal, they couldn't have a large gathering because of COVID Yeah. So they asked me, and I came over, and I had the two tubes. One was blue, one was pink.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And they, you know, I knew the gender before they did.

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Right. So I was, like, thrilled.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: I was like the Godfather at this point.

>> Darin: I keep telling them, like, that makes me the godfather. And then they said, no, no, no, you're not.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: and we need to talk about this. So that's their first kid. Their second kid comes along.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: And then it's like, Darren, who I'm invited.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: To the gender reveal party.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: but I didn't find out before anybody else did. And I wrote a stern letter, like, of disappointment. Like, I should know this before anybody else does.

>> Mike: It takes a global pandemic for me to be good enough to know.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: The gender of the baby.

>> Mike: Right. Yeah.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Now that everybody's healthy.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: Just, like, just. Just screw Darren.

>> Darin: Put me in with the rest of them.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: With all the family.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: It's like Die Hard, too.

>> Mike: Yeah. yeah.

>> Mike: He's so excited about the terrorists, but nobody's believing him.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: He's like, I'm the dude that saved the town. We went through a whole movie. You don't know. You don't know me.

>> Darin: You don't know.

>> Mike: I'm the guy. And then at the end, though, at the end, it comes around. It always comes around. At some point, you'll eject yourself from a helicopter.

>> Mike: Exactly. Yeah.

>> Darin: Save the day.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So with the second kid, we're all standing in the yard, and they're on their patio. They're on their, their balcony of their, ranch.

>> Mike: Thank you.

>> Darin: No, house. House is the word I'm thinking.


Someone says they're going to have to have two girls to even out

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And they shot confetti. And pink confetti comes out.

>> Mike: Okay. Okay.

>> Darin: Now, before the pink confetti even fell to the ground, someone had said, oh, two girls. They're going to have to try again to have a boy. And another person says, well, they're going to have to have two boys to even it out. the confetti hasn't even hit the ground yet. And they've got poor Mary having two more kids.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: Calm down, people.

>> Darin: Calm down. Right? And I told. I said, hey, hey. Mary is not a machine. Okay. Yeah.


Chris and Mary are expecting their third child; I'm not invited

So now we're at the third kid, number three. And again, I am not part of the gender reveal.

>> Mike: So we don't know what this kid is.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Darin: I'm invited and Libby and the boys are.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: When is this gender reveal happening?

>> Darin: Well, it happened. Oh, yeah.

>> Mike: It happened.

>> Darin: It happened.

>> Mike: It happened.

>> Darin: It was at their house.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And we're there, and I'm trying as hard as I can try.

>> Darin: To have a good time, even though I'm just steamed inside that I'm not making the announcement.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I should be the one that says it's a. Whatever it is.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: I told their kids. I was talking to Natalie and Victoria. I, said, what do you think Mommy's gonna have?

>> Mike: And.

>> Darin: Because if it's. If it's a pink balloon, it's a girl. If it's a blue balloon, it's gonna be a boy, and if it's a green balloon, Mommy's gonna have a frog. And Victoria says, mommy's not gonna have a frog. She might. Yeah, she might have a frog.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Anyway, they're ready to make the announcement. They pull the string, and the balloons are falling to the ground. they're pink now.

>> Mike: What are you going to do?

>> Darin: There's going to be another girl.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And so the balloon hasn't even hit the ground yet. Better luck next time.

>> Mike: Oh, my Lord.

>> Darin: To which I then said, she's not a machine.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I'm fighting people.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: He's got a lovely family, and Mary has a lovely family.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And they. Whenever they see me, they're like, oh, it's so nice seeing you again. And Chris and Mary just love you and Libby, and they think of you as part of the family. And I'm like, that's really nice. Well, if they really think of me as part of the family, why am I not making the announcement?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So when they have their fourth child, I better damn well be the one who makes the announcement.

>> Mike: Yeah, well, if they have a fourth girl, then that's four of a kind, right?

>> Darin: That's.

>> Mike: That wins.

>> Mike: Yeah.


This has been a deleted clip from a previous episode of the show

>> Dave: This has been a deleted clip from a previous episode that you probably wouldn't have known was deleted if we had never brought attention to it. Now back to the show, Libby and I.

>> Darin: And every Friday night, we have movie pizza night. Okay? So mom came over, and Jacob and Cameron were both there. This is one of the rare nights where all five of us are home because Cameron and Jacob both have jobs. I find this movie starring Gerard Butler. Okay. I like Gerard Butler.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: He is a pilot, and he is, flying from.

>> Mike: He was the guy in 300. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: He was the voice of, the dad in how to Train youn Dragon.

>> Mike: Okay. Yeah.

>> Darin: So I like him a lot. He's a good actor.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And he's, pretty good with the action adventure stuff. And I knew this was going to be a fun, go in there and kick everybody's ass kind of movie. And we all like those movies.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So he's flying this plane from, the Philippines.

>> Mike: Botswana.

>> Darin: From Botswana to Hawaii. That's where his daughter is. And he's gonna meet up with his daughter for, I want to say, lunch, Christmas or Thanksgiving. A holiday. He's meeting her for the holiday. And he calls her, I love you and I'll see you soon. And she's like, I love you too, Daddy. I love you more, and whatever. So as they're loading the people on the plane. It's a small flight. There's like 14 people on the plane. one of the passengers is a prisoner.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: He's being transported. Okay. He's being transport.

>> Mike: Conair.

>> Darin: Exactly.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And they've got him in cuffs.

>> Mike: And.

>> Darin: And we find out that he is a prisoner because he killed somebody. Well, so everyone's like, oh, we can't trust him.

>> Mike: Be a pretty boring movie if he was just in there for tax evasion, all cuffed. Wait a second.

>> Darin: He was jaywalking.

>> Mike: Where's your receipt? Sir, you can't declare that.

>> Darin: I need to see your 1049.

>> Mike: I don't think you filed the right 1099. I don't.

>> Darin: You see, See, I would be arrested because I filed a 1049. It's a 99.

>> Mike: I don't think this is your actual address.


The movie is called Plane and it's a really good movie

>> Darin: So they're flying and they get in just a really bad storm.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Horrible, horrible lightning storm. And they have to make a Crash, landing on this island. And it turns out the island is full of these terrorist, pirates.

>> Mike: Of course it is.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And it's. It's bad news all around.

>> Mike: You don't.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Two people died on the plane.

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Darin: While they were in. The one guy was so stupid. Instead of keeping his seatbelt on, he dropped his phone.

>> Mike: I got to get m. My phone.

>> Darin: He gets up and the plane. And he hits his head, breaks his neck.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And dies.

>> Mike: New fear unlocked.

>> Darin: Because. And that's what kids today do because they have to have their phone. They have to have their phone. They land on this island and. And they're like, what do we do? We got to look for help. We got to see if we can find, a place where we can get either a cell reception or there's got to be someplace where we can, radio for help. So Gerard Butler is like, I'll go. And you, the co pilot, you stay here with all the people. And he takes the prisoner with him. Right. And then they just start killing people right and left and killing and banging, shooting and fighting. And it's a really good movie. I'm telling you this story because it's a great movie, but it has a horrible title. The title of the movie is plain.

>> Mike: Plane.

>> Darin: and I'm trying to imagine.

>> Mike: It's like, you know, it's like calling die hard. Building.

>> Darin: Building. Yeah. It's like cone speed bus.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Titanic, Boat. This movie is called Plane. And somebody wrote the script, met with producers, and then the producers met with other producers, and then they tried to find a director, and we. They're trying to make casting, and they're trying to get the right people.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And then they're trying to get a studio to back this up. And what's your premise? Well, the movie's called Plane. Oh, tell me more. Well, it's about a pilot, and they're in an electrical storm. There's a prisoner on board, and that's the best they could come up with.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: We were gonna call it Jet, but we gotta.

>> Darin: That's already.

>> Mike: Already taken, and it'd be too short of a movie.

>> Darin: I'm just like, it's a horrible name for the movie, and it's a great movie. There had to have been somebody that could have hired to come up with a better name.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And plain.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Is a very plain title.


This portion of the show is brought to you by the Letterman podcast

>> Dave: This portion of our show is brought to you by the Letterman podcast with Mike Chisholm. Hi, I'm Dave Lay, and after you listen to every episode of Irritable dad syndrome. Check out the Letterman podcast. It's packed full of stories about David Letterman. It features people who worked with David Letterman, people who were guests with David Letterman, and even people who just watched David Letterman. The Letterman podcast with Mike Chisholm. Available everywhere you find podcasts. Now back to the show.

>> Darin: There you go. That's solid entertainment.


Glop is a West Virginia vegetable curry invented by Dr. James Boyce

>> Mike: So, the 25th GLOP event was this past week.

>> Darin: What is glop?

>> Mike: My glop is, a, ah, West Virginia vegetable curry invented by Dr. James Boyce.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: in his cauldron, well nigh 25 to 30 years ago. And it inspired a get together, an initial get together of family and a few friends. So similar to your pee party.

>> Darin: So glop is an actual thing?

>> Mike: It's a food.

>> Darin: It's a food.

>> Mike: It's a food.

>> Darin: Is it delicious?

>> Mike: Oh, yeah. Indeed it is. Okay.

>> Darin: Is it fattening?

>> Mike: no.

>> Mike: Oh, not at all.

>> Mike: It's actually very healthy.

>> Darin: Oh, okay, then I probably wouldn't like it.

>> Mike: And then it grew over the years and just became this huge thing. Hundreds of people go every year. There's typically fireworks. There's usually alcohol. And glop. There's hot dogs. There's dogs. this year there was a dead body.

>> Darin: Hey, what happened?

>> Mike: there's bands. Not a human, an animal. Back up in the woods.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: And it's a hell of a party. there's various things associated with glop. There's the final four, which is the final four. People left awake with Jim because somebody has to take the picture. And, so Charlie was the final four. Was in the final four last year. Almost made it again this year. That's. That was his goal.

>> Darin: So wait, they have a contest at this party?

>> Mike: An unwritten, unspoken contest. It just. It just happens.

>> Darin: But the last four people who are still awake.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And do they win anything?

>> Mike: They win, bragging rights.

>> Mike: Oh, okay.

>> Mike: their picture gets put on the glop page. There's a photo booth there. Everybody gets pictures. Pictures. And, there's bands, there's dogs. Like I said, there's events. there used to be a glop run, a 5k.

>> Darin: Oh.

>> Mike: there used to be a poker game, and that had to be shelved and put away. That got, it ended up, taking a bit too much from glop. People would go to the poker game and they would just be there and use the house and use the facilities and use the food. And then you have this huge party that's supposed to Happen the next day.

>> Mike: Just.

>> Mike: It was too much, Darren. It was too much. I was involved in this poker party.

>> Darin: The gambling got a hold on people.

>> Mike: Well, here's the deal, is the poker game was played by people who took it exceptionally seriously. Have you seen the movie Casino Royale? Daniel Craig, the newer. With the, James Bond.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: Serious. They look when they're doing poker.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Mike: That looks like the movie Airplane compared to how poker is at Glop. Well, one thing I know.

>> Darin: When you're playing cards, there's two things. You've got to know when to hold them. You got to know when to fold them. Actually, there's four things. You got to know when to walk away and know when to run.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Mike: Exactly. And I knew none of those things.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: And I was. I. I did not. I did not think I was going to make it out of that game alive. That was years ago.


Pimped, uh, out the podcast to a few people

Pimped, out the podcast to a few people.

>> Darin: Nice.

>> Mike: Usually I do that every year. I get a bunch of promises that they'll listen.

>> Mike: They.

>> Mike: They don't. We do have. We do have a fan in Pittsburgh, a couple of fans, that were at Glop. And I know that they actually listen because they bring up things.

>> Darin: Oh.

>> Mike: At Glob. So. Hey, the thing and the stuff. I don't know what they're talking about because I don't listen to the show, but they. I. They tell me it's from the show.

>> Darin: You know what I noticed, on Instagram, I was looking at our page, and somebody had commented about our Instagram. How come it's taken me so long to find you guys?

>> Mike: Oh, oh, oh, oh.

>> Mike: The guy.

>> Darin: You reacted. You.

>> Mike: I think it was on the Tick Tocks.

>> Darin: Was it Tick Tock?

>> Mike: I think it was Tick Tock. I think he was saying from the standpoint of he looks like he runs a podcast in Cincinnati of a humorous nature, and he was impressed by our humorousness, our humor level, our level of our funny, our.

>> Darin: Our ability to make people laugh.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

>> Mike: Yeah, we.

>> Mike: I mean, we're nothing if not, hilarious.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: No, we're not.

>> Mike: At least you try to be.


That title has always bothered me. All of our titles. And if you have a problem, then you can name the next episode

Somebody's been downloading the hiccup. You hiccuped loud enough to make my fart stop.

>> Mike: Oh, really?

>> Mike: Or wet enough to make my hiccups. You farted wet enough to make my hiccup stop. That's had a resurgence in recent days, and I don't know why. I've never. That title has always bothered me. All of our titles. That one Bothers me.

>> Darin: You never told me that. We could have called it something.

>> Mike: It just. It made me. It makes me. You know how you get when I start farting on. On air? You're like, okay, enough, of that.

>> Darin: Complain about that.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: You get a little squeamish, though. You don't like,

>> Darin: I don't like you slurping.

>> Mike: Slurping on air.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: Slurping, farting. What's the difference? The point is always.

>> Darin: It always, like, one's going in, one's going out.

>> Mike: If we ever do become famous enough to be interviewed on a show and somebody says, what about this show titled, you Farted Wet Enough to Make my Hiccups Stop, I don't know what to tell you.

>> Darin: I would stand up and I'd say, well, that was the, highlight. That was the best title that grabbed us that particular week. And if you have a problem, then you can name the next episode.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Dave: Looks like me and Vincent caught you boys at breakfast. Sorry about that. What you have it?

>> Mike: Hamburgers.

>> Dave: Hamburgers. The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. What kind of hamburgers?

>> Mike: Cheeseburgers.

>> Dave: No, no, no, no, no. Where'd you get them? McDonald's, Wendy's, Jack in the Box?

>> Mike: Where?

>> Dave: Big Kahuna Burger. Big Kahuna Burger. That's that Hawaiian burger joint.

>> Darin: You ever see Pulp Fiction?

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: You know what they were eating at the beginning of Pulp Fiction when, Marcellus Wallace and Vincent Vega go in there? Well, no. That's what they were called.

>> Mike: Oh, the Big Kahuna Burger.

>> Darin: a Big Kahuna Burger.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: Libby and I found a restaurant in Hamilton, Ohio. Billy Frank's. It has a Big Kahuna Burger. Oh, now, I'm sorry, but you can't pass up a Big Kahuna Burger. No, if a restaurant has a Big Kahuna burger, you got to get the Big Kahuna Burger.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I ordered this. It's two Smash burgers, so real thin patties, okay? Fried Spam cheese, a, fried egg, and then you're gonna think, this is nasty. Pineapple teriyaki salsa.

>> Mike: Okay. Okay. All right.

>> Mike: Was it a tasty burger?

>> Darin: It was a tasty burger.

>> Dave: This is a tasty burger.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And then I asked if I could wash it down with some of your Sprite. It was so good. And Libby's just looking at me like, how are you? It's got Spam on it.

>> Mike: Says.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: It's got Spam on it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And it's so good. Fried Spam.

>> Mike: I was raised on Spam.

>> Darin: Oh, I had Spam for lunch today.

>> Mike: Yeah? Yeah.

>> Mike: Sometimes when we didn't have enough money, it became treat a treat.

>> Darin: Oh, gotta get the treatment.

>> Mike: But on paydays, man, for the spam throw down.


If you ever look at the nutritional information for Spam or treat

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: Now that you're older and you look at things that you know, you want to make sure this isn't going to kill me today if I eat it. If you ever look at the nutritional information for Spam or treat.

>> Darin: Don't want to. I mean, don't want to.

>> Mike: I thought it was typed wrong with the amount of sodium. It seemed like it was a week's worth of sodium in one bite. It was amazing. It's like, my God, how did I survive M?

>> Dave: You ever had a Big Kahuna burger? One bite. They're real tasty. Well, if you like burgers, give them a try sometime.


Cracker Barrel decided to change their logo and all hell broke loose

>> Darin: Were you outraged with the Cracker Barrel logo? This is more timely information on our podcast. Cracker Barrel decided to change their logo and all hell broke loose. over a logo.

>> Mike: I found out about it from people who don't care about it.

>> Darin: Yeah, me too.

>> Mike: I've never liked Cracker Barrel.

>> Mike: I've tolerated Cracker Barrel. If I'm in a group of people and somebody wants to go to Cracker Barrel, the first thing I do is I evaluate my friendship with this person.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Whether I want to continue to be friends with them or not.

>> Mike: Exactly.

>> Darin: Do they owe me money?

>> Mike: If this is the first or second time that we've talked, I'll probably never talk to them again after that. Cracker Barrel is like a. It's trying to be it. Here's what annoys me about Cracker Barrel.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: It sees Bob Evans.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And it says, I'm going to be a better one of you.

>> Mike: But they're not. No, they're not.

>> Darin: No, they're not. They fail miserably.

>> Mike: And then the. The whole logo thing, I mean, it does look stupid. I'll say that. There was nothing wrong with the original logo. I think the new logo just looks dumb. But I don't see what all the hoopla's about.

>> Darin: I thought their new logo just looked bland. Like I could have created that. Yeah, like anybody could have created that logo. There's no.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: There was no depth to it. There was no. It was, ah. Whatever the shape is, it's not a hexagon. It's an orange shape with a black font on top of it. And it's dull. It was very.

>> Mike: Instead of going to a restaurant, it looks like you're buying a Pack of erasers. But the. Somebody made a meme that said, hey, you guys are all upset about this. Remember when Burger King changed their logo and they showed a Burger King logo from, like, the 60s or something that looked like it was whacked out on acid? This king, like, lounged back. Cartoon king, like, chucking a burger down his throat. I'm like, that's badass.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I don't know how you get from that to what we have now.

>> Darin: I'm sorry, but who gives a. People, these companies change their logos all the time. They refresh it and they move on. You know, look at McDonald's. They've changed their logo. Mountain Dew changed their logo.

>> Mike: Dunkin Donuts doesn't even have donuts in the.

>> Darin: The title anymore. Yeah. Hbo. Max.

>> Mike: Duncan. Like, Duncan. What?

>> Darin: Yeah, but. So, Kroger used to have a logo that was oval, and it looked like it had a. I'm talking graphically. Had a sheen on it. It looked shiny.

>> Mike: Okay. It.

>> Darin: The blue was, dark, blue at the top and light blue at the bottom.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And had, like, a sheen around. It looked very, very shiny. And it looked like the Kroger letters were imprinted into the logo there. And then they changed it to solid blue with solid, white Kroger in the middle. Very bland.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I'm like, why. Why did you. Like. If you're gonna change your logo, change it and keep it the same amount of coolness. Make the logo different. That's fine.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Cracker Barrel just made their logo so dull. But I wasn't outraged. I like, how dare they take away my Southern heritage and. You son of a. My question is, what the hell? Anyway, Cracker Barrel folded, and they're like, okay, look, we heard you. You guys hated our new logo.


Cracker Barrel changed its logo to make it more international

We're going back to the guy sitting next to the barrel.

>> Mike: And I read here's the thing is that I. I didn't care one way or the other. And then I saw this post by somebody who cared deeply about it, and they. They were posting. I, guess the guy sitting next to the barrel is like, Herschel Kumquat.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And Uncle Herschel, he.

>> Mike: He wanted nothing but a soppy biscuit every morning. And he was the personification of a family breakfast guy.

>> Mike: And.

>> Mike: And damn it, Herschel. Herschel loved Cracker Barrel. And he's. What. Is what they stood for. And y' all have just gone down a dark path when you're. When you're taking the heart and soul out of this. Out of Cracker Barrel. And I'M sitting there thinking, I want to eat at it less. I already didn't like it, but now I like the new logo more and I liked it less. And now that they've gone, they're gone. Back to Herschel, Cumquat back on the COVID I don't. Or the thing. I don't. I mean, the one that really upset me, that actually pissed me off back in the day, and this is because I was young enough, I didn't, I didn't have too many things to piss me off. Remember Kentucky Fried Chicken in kfc?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: That one annoyed me.

>> Darin: On my Facebook memories today. Something, came up, like from six or seven years ago where they removed the finger licking good slogan.

>> Mike: Well, I'm okay with that. But the name Kentucky Fried Chicken, the same thing with Dunkin Donuts. I think the idea behind that was we want to sound healthier and we don't want to sound like you have to be from Kentucky to eat this.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: so it's like everybody's going to forget that you make fried chicken and everybody's going to forget that you dunk donuts.

>> Darin: Yeah. It all comes down to the preference of who's running the ad campaign.

>> Mike: And nobody ever really seemed to give a shit about IHOP and International House of Pancakes. You know, International House of Pancakes, when it was called that, I remember they had, the buildings were bigger because they had to fit the whole game on there, but they had a, they, they.

>> Darin: Were large, size of a football.

>> Mike: They were big brown buildings. They were like Log Cabin almost.

>> Darin: It was the International House of Pancakes.

>> Mike: The pancakes were the size, and I'm not kidding, the size of a normal sized dinner plate.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah, they were huge. They were ginormous.

>> Mike: You got blueberry, if you got a stack of blueberry pancakes in there, you better clear your schedule for the next couple of days. Right. They had the huge carafes, of syrup on the table. They were always cut, covered in stuff. This is back before we had alcohol wipes.

>> Darin: Remember Dennis Miller talking about how he, he went to the International House of Pancakes and he had the, the French, maple.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: Ah, what's international about it?

>> Mike: Nothing.

>> Mike: Because they were, I think, I'm pretty sure they were all in West Virginia, Tennessee and Kentucky. I think that's where they all were.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: But. And then they became ihop and I'm like, I know what that really is. And they made the pancakes about. Literally the pancakes at IHOP now are about 20 the size of the original International House.

>> Darin: I wonder if they have, Ihops in, like, Dubai. It's international.

>> Mike: Yeah. So.

>> Darin: But yeah, again, people change their logos all the time and it's like, yeah, they made the Cracker Barrel logo dumb and bland looking. But, guys, it's nothing to lose your mind over. It's a logo. If you don't like their food, don't eat a Cracker Barrel. If you do like their food, have you ever, like, they change their logo, I'm not gonna eat there anymore.

>> Mike: No, no, no.

>> Darin: I love Cheer Wine, but if they change the logo on the bottle to just a big C, okay. I'll still buy bottles and drink Cheer wine.

>> Mike: I like Mountain Dew because of where I'm. Where I'm from. The old logo used to look like they ran out of ideas and they just did something in crayon right before it went to print. And now it looks like something out of the Matrix.

>> Darin: Yeah, right.

>> Mike: When you go to buy Mountain Dew, it's like punching you in the face with coolness.

>> Darin: Like, Mountain Dew used to have a southern style look to it, and now it has, like, it's for skateboarders only.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, skateboarders and the guys from Blink 182. That's it. The only people that can drink it.

>> Darin: I think I still, still have an old bottle of Mountain Dew that had the fisherman on it. Remember the imprint of the dude, it's like in white, paint with the fishing, rod. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: Was there, is there or was there ever a soda called Shasta? Am I just m misremembering Shasta?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Is that the same as Fanta?

>> Darin: I want a Pop Pop. I want a Shasta. I want to taste pizzazz.


All the taste that Shasta has. All the great taste. I wanna Shasta, everybody

All the taste that Shasta has. I want a Pop Pop. I wanna Shasta, everybody. Come on. Just the ladies to taste pizzazz. All the great taste. Chef.

>> Mike: I want to pop.

>> Mike: I want a.

>> Mike: I'm a pepper. You're a pepper. He's a pepper, she's a pepper.

>> Darin: Would you like to be a pepper?

>> Mike: Dude on the bike with a fro.

>> Darin: I've missed you.


Last week we had Mark Malkoff talking about his new book Love Johnny Carson

So the last two weeks we had guests on the show. Last week we had Mark Malkoff, great guest.

>> Mike: Holy crap.

>> Darin: Talking about his new book, Love Johnny Carson. And I'm telling you guys, you need to order the book. Go to Mark Malkoff.com and order the book. You're going to love the book. And if you want, you can go to. After you listen to every episode of our podcast. check out old episodes of the Carson podcast. This Guy knows how to do it. And I was nervous. He was a fantastic guest, and we loved having him. The week before, we had Georgia Warder on Up and Coming Comedian. Hilarious. Very sweet, very cool. A lot of fun having her. And the thing is, is, like, when we have guests on the show, we don't get to.

>> Mike: We don't get to interact.

>> Darin: Yeah. It's a different podcast. It's a completely different podcast. So we appreciate you, the listener, we appreciate you joining us on weeks that we have guests, and we appreciate you staying with us on weeks that we don't. So thanks a lot for that. We really appreciate all that you do. If you want to go to Irritable dad syndrome dot com, if you want to become a patron, you can help us out and do that. That'd be fantastic. And, if you want, you know, whenever you see one of our videos, if you like it and you share it, that can help us become more and more popular. And eventually, Mike and I, we will take over the world.

>> Mike: That was the smoothest transition to a no. I almost didn't want to call out because I don't want to end the momentum. But that was some, That was some professional. I'm finally figuring out how to do professional right there. That's. That was badass. Actually. I'm inspired to care about this podcast again. I'm not kidding. I mean, I want to do a good job on the next episode. I had. I want to earn that segue.

>> Darin: I have a friend of mine who listened. Listened to last week's episode, and he said it was so good. I've got imposter syndrome.

>> Mike: I have imposter syndrome. I feel like I'm not good enough for the show right now. I'm gonna bring my A game next week.

>> Darin: Bring your A game. I'll bring my A game, too, next week. And we hope to see you next week on Irritable Dad Syndrome.

>> Mike: Damn.

>> Mike: You did it again.

>> Darin: I did it again, right? Wow.

>> Dave: Irritable dad Syndrome is a Mark Goodson, Bill Todman production.

>> Mike: remember when I said I was gonna bring the funny? I don't think. I don't think I have it.

>> Mike: I do.

>> Mike: I may have fibbed.

>> Darin: Oh, this would be the first time where you said you had something and you didn't. I've been on a diet for three days and would literally beat a man to death with a boot for some hot pancakes mix. You ever see Pulp?

>> Mike: I've seen Pulp Fiction.

>> Darin: You ever see Pulp Fiction?

>> Mike: I've seen Pulp Fiction.

>> Darin: Let me start that again. You ever see Pulp Fiction?

>> Mike: No.


So Taylor Swift is, uh, engaged. I got really excited about it, and I told everyone to watch it

>> Mike: So Taylor Swift is, engaged.

>> Mike: Is that the.

>> Darin: Tay. Tay got engaged.

>> Mike: I got really excited about it, and I told everyone to watch it. And I quit watching it because I'm a contrarian. That's how I live my life.

>> Darin: Once people start doing the thing, then you're like, they can't possibly be cool. And then so I.

>> Mike: It's a problem.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: Johan Sebastian Bach. You know that was his first name.

>> Darin: Johan. Yeah, Johan.

>> Mike: You think he went by Han?

>> Darin: I think he went by Yo.

>> Mike: I think we went by Han.

>> Darin: These are classical.

>> Mike: I think it went by Han. And I think he spent most of his time by himself. And his friends called him Han Solo.

>> Darin: Because he's by himself.

>> Mike: I'm out. Drop.

>> Mike: Booyah.

>> Darin: Yeah, I'm thinking of watching another episode and reviewing it next week.

>> Mike: Yeah, I think you should. I think you should.

>> Darin: 272 episodes. I'm finally figuring out what to do.

>> Mike: Eventually. We got to get it right.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: Hey, we're irritable dad syndrome. It may sound like we know what we're doing. Herschel Cumberquote in his. I always thought, when I am an adult, I'm gonna go to the International House of Pancakes anytime I want.

>> Darin: By God.

>> Mike: By God.