IDS #250 - Don't Touch My Onion

Mike and Darin celebrate their 250th episode with announcer Dave Lay and longtime fan of the show Jason Durbin.

The boys discuss people who don't want their onions touched, nudity at the drive thru window, what Severance is actually about and Mike pays Darin a compliment!

Oh and you don't want to miss the Culvers Story of the Week... it's one for the record books! This show is so good you might need a safeword.

Thanks for all your support. It's our honor to bring you this podcast.

#SEVERANCE #SHAWSHANK #applepodcasts #comedypodcast

Transcript

We need a safe word. It's got to be something from Breaking Bad

>> Mike: We need a safe word.

>> Darin: Okay, A safe word. Go.

>> Mike: Banana.

>> Darin: Coconut.

>> Mike: It's got to be something from Breaking Bad.

>> Darin: Coconut from Breaking Bad.

>> Mike: Albuquerque. Can we just say Albuquerque?

>> Darin: Albuquerque.

>> Mike: If either of us says Albuquerque, whatever you're talking about.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Dave: Change the subject.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Mike: Okay, you take a left or right there.

>> Darin: I knew I should have turned left. You're dying for soup after you're 50.

>> Mike: Louie. You hungry? Is there any soup? Could you open it for me?


This is the 250th episode of Irritable Dad Syndrome

>> Dave: Welcome to the 250th episode of Irritable Dad Syndrome.

>> Mike: Apparently it's a big deal.

>> Dave: The fun starts now.

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I am Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome. This is episode 252. 52. 50. That's like half a century, dude. We have special guests with us tonight. We have Dave Ley, our announcer. Hi, Dave.

>> Dave: Hi. How you doing?

>> Darin: I'm fantastic. And we have Jason Durbin. Jason is one of our bosses. Jason's a patron. He is a longtime fan of the show. He's been with us since episode one. And, Jason, we're very happy that you're here with us.

>> Mike: Yeah, thank you. Thank you.

>> Mike: We had a contest. We put all of our patrons names in a hat and we pulled them out.

>> Darin: Actually, it was a phone contest and I just called numbers until somebody answered and Jason answered the phone.

>> Mike: So.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So how you doing?

>> Darin: I'm doing great. That's why you don't drink two beers before the show. Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah. So I'm imbibing.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: M. There's some imbibing going on in this show. So Mike's letting his hair down.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So just metaphorically, we've changed the geography and the. The setup here. So normally Darren and I are askance from each other, looking at a monitor.

>> Darin: I'm sorry, we're what? A scans askance.

>> Mike: You can look it up.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Right now, Darren and I are directly across from each other looking over a Breaking Bad barrel, which, I mean, that's what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: It's the box sets. The Breaking Bad box set. Yeah.

>> Mike: And then,

>> Darin: It's worth. It's worth. It's all the money. It's so good.

>> Mike: Yeah. And then David and jasonius are. Are facing each other across their levels there. And.

>> Mike: Hey, I haven't been called.

>> Darin: What did you used to call him? He.

>> Mike: Eric.

>> Darin: Eric. Eric Durbin. Yeah.

>> Mike: I don't. I'm horrible.

>> Darin: I'm hoping that in this episode, I think you guys finally need to bury the hatchet because for the longest time you were mad at him.

>> Mike: What?

>> Darin: Yeah. You were mad at Jason.

>> Mike: Oh, because he wouldn't hire your kid to pick up.

>> Darin: Which he did. He did.

>> Mike: I have two of my own kids to.

>> Mike: Right, right.

>> Darin: But he used to. He used to hire Cameron to pick up dog food.

>> Mike: Hired Cameron multiple times.

>> Mike: Wait, you didn't tell me that.

>> Darin: I did, actually. You weren't listening.

>> Mike: We both did.

>> Darin: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Mike: At one of Darren's parties. Actually, both did.

>> Darin: And on.

>> Mike: You chose to neglect.

>> Darin: Yeah. And then I said, if you're such a proponent of Cameron and hiring him, why don't you hire me?

>> Mike: Go.

>> Darin: I'm not going to pay for that.

>> Mike: I'm not going to pay for that.


The poop stayed in a tree for five years before it fell down

>> Mike: No, I mean, you literally had in a tree for how long?

>> Mike: For many.

>> Darin: The blue bag is still out. The piece.

>> Mike: Yeah. But the poop dropped.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: So the poop.

>> Mike: Let's do the math on this one. I think Molly died in 2018. 18.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And we started this show. We started this show in 2020.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So when we started in 2020. The poop had already been up there for a couple of years.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And ah, it. It fell down. Was it. It was two years ago, I think 2023.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So the poop stayed in the tree for five years.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And now the poop is on the ground and has been since.

>> Darin: And there's a. Still a piece of the plastic bag near the tree.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It had to be a Kruger bag because that.

>> Darin: But no, he won't move it. So.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Dave: So does that act like a memorial?

>> Mike: It is, it does. Molly's actually in our closet right now. Yeah, Bess was.

>> Darin: And they never had her cremated, which she.

>> Dave: That explains the smell.

>> Mike: That was one of the. An example of my dark humor as Bess was. She was. We were talking about Molly. She's like, I wonder where Molly is. Like, she's in our closet.

>> Darin: Yeah. Up there.

>> Mike: Take a ride.

>> Darin: Literally right there. Oh my goodness.


Dave says his car is making a grinding noise. Have you changed the oil

So today has been a fun day. yesterday I took my car in. My car's making a grinding noise.

>> Mike: And a car you got.

>> Darin: I've got a Honda CRV. Okay. It's 12 years old.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: It's making a grinding noise. It's got 154,000 miles on it. For the first time ever, as many times as I've taken one of any of my cars in. They told me they don't think my engine has much longer to live.

>> Mike: Really?

>> Darin: Yeah. They're like, it's on the. They said they. We think it's on its last days because there Was ground up pieces of metal in the oil where my engine is basically eating itself.

>> Mike: Have you changed the oil?

>> Darin: I always change my oil. Yeah, I always get it changed in time. Always. I have. I'm terrified. I have been a stickler for that.

>> Mike: My car has 168,000 miles on it.

>> Darin: Well, my last car had 200,000 miles. My Pontiac Vibe, which you never bought from me, Dave.

>> Mike: That is a horrible looking vehicle. How did you choose that?

>> Darin: The Pontiac Vibe.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: I loved my Pontiac Vibe.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Dave: Well, you can clean the interior out with a water hose.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Yes. There's actually a commercial about that. That's right. Yeah.

>> Darin: I was out with mom and I thought, I don't want to buy a new car.

>> Mike: So you were looking for your own.

>> Darin: I just don't. Yeah, I was. Well, mom's been wanting to look. Mom's, like, hinting around the idea of maybe getting one for her, and now I'm like, maybe I need to get one too. So we're out today. We're looking.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And I test drove two, Nissan, and then we looked at a couple of, Mitsubishi's, But I was test driving this Nissan. Okay. Nissan Versa. It's a nice car. Okay. And I'm driving it. And I said, mom, when we take it back, I want you to tell the guy, just pull him over to the side and say, my son farted in the car. You might want to hang a pine cone in there. And she's like, I'm not going to do that. I was like, okay, okay. And then we're test driving the second one, and I tried to get mom to say, hey, you know what? that son of a. We got it up to 100. It didn't even shimmy. She wouldn't do that either. So anyway, I had to do these jokes on my own, but anyway, I hate. Hate looking at cars. I hate looking at cars. And shopping.

>> Mike: Wouldn't be a bad idea to ask the guy who's an actual mechanic on what you should buy. Maybe.

>> Darin: Yeah. Well, I mean, I don't know.

>> Mike: Me.

>> Darin: Yeah, well, that's. That's, you know, Jason, that's why I brought this up. Okay. I'm not in a mood, but it's like it exhausts me. It seriously exhausts me. Looking. And, doing that deal with the, with the old car shopping.

>> Mike: Part of the reason I still have the Kia, which, by the way, I think I did. I tell the story last week about best ripping the handle off the back and just like dropping it on the desk. Oh, the handle's gone. When you go out in the. When you go out in the driveway, the handle is gone on the back of the Kia.

>> Darin: Does she not realize her strength?

>> Mike: She. She.

>> Darin: Hulk.

>> Mike: She went to open it.

>> Darin: She.

>> Mike: She opened the door to get something out. And I'm sitting, minding my own business, grinding my camos in cod Which I got the.

>> Darin: The call, of duty.

>> Mike: I got the. The,


You have replaced literally everything but the engine on your new Toyota

It doesn't matter. I got the worst camo anyways. she just plops it right down on the computer desk.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: And I said, that's from my car. And she said, it just came off the hand. And I just lost laughing. Because the last episode, we talked about how the mechanic, when he came back in, he's like, I don't think there's anything else that could go wrong with this car. You have replaced literally everything but the engine at this point, which is true. Everything is new on the car except for the engine.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And then, at work, a guy came out when I was starting the car in the parking lot. He's like, your car sounds. Got a loud sound to it. And I'm like, you know what? I don't care. It's going to. As long as it doesn't do something like lock up and plunge me over a cliff. Yeah, I'm okay.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It just needs to get me from here to work, and then from work to here. It's all it needs to do.

>> Dave: As many times as possible.

>> Mike: As many times as possible. I, would love it if it does that for the next two years, at which point I will purchase another car. But until then, I don't give it.

>> Darin: Yeah, I don't want to buy another car. I just don't hate buying cars. I hate it.

>> Mike: I told this story, when Mia Best got her Toyota. I love Toyota. Toyota. I'm a Toyota fan. I'm a Toyota guy. And we went to get it, and when we were doing the financing, the guy just. I'm an idiot. Also, the, guy said, you know, what are you driving? I'm like, a Kia. And he. And he looked at me and I'm like, yeah. And I just. I just unloaded on him with. I've been dealing with. And I'm, you know, I'm self deprecating. I was just, like, telling him the whole thing. I didn't tell him about the handle coming off because that hadn't happened yet. Right. But I was.

>> Darin: Because you can't tell me into the.

>> Mike: Future telling him all this. And, yeah, I told it on here. He just kept saying, yeah, they really drink the oil. They really guzzle the oil. Okay, Yeah, I got it.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And then we go to the next step in Bess's. You know, how many kids are going to ride in this car? Do you need, you know, knife protection on the seats or whatever the hell they're trying to sell? And. And then he. And then while she's answering that, he looks at me. He's like, yeah, those kids really drink the oil. They guzzle it. They pour a nice, tall glass of.

>> Darin: Oil and drop it head on it. Yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: It's like, I got it, dude. They drink the oil, and then the other dude, the. The mechanic guy came in who was setting up the car that we bought. Uh-huh. And he came in and said, the car is ready to be taken out of the port.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Like we're the Star Trek. Like Captain Kirk and Spock are gonna get in this thing and take it out of the port. They have a port when you get from Kings Toyota. Huh? When you buy a car, they put it in the port, and you go in there and they show it off. It's all sexy. And you get in it and they wave as you drive out of the port.

>> Darin: You know what, honey? I think I'm gonna. I want to get a port at our house.

>> Mike: It is a cool thing. They did it with Bess's van back in the day. Bess's van, the Sienna, was new.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It wasn't the van that you've seen for years. It was a new, nice one. And we drove out of the port, and we were so happy and so excited about the next 10 to 15 years we're going to spend with this car. And it's the same thing with the Highlander. But he came in to say it, and I.


A mechanic at car X gave me my car a minor oil change

Let's just call the guy Russ because I can't remember his name.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And the finance guy, then he's like, russ. Yeah. You remember that Kia we got last year? And Russell's like, yeah, I remember the Kia. And then he said, yeah, I really drank the oil, didn't it? Really, really put the oil back. Like, Russ, do you guys come up with this? It's routine.

>> Darin: Maybe he sells oil on the side.

>> Mike: It got in my head, though. And then so over the winter, you know, when you're. When the exhaust comes out, it's white, you know, at this condensing. But a little part of me said, yeah, it's really drinking the oil. A little oil in that Is it bluish? Is it bluish? If it's bluish, it's just a moral.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Having a hard day. Does it just take, like, a little shot?

>> Darin: Yeah, he chases it.

>> Mike: According to him, it's like a Viking.

>> Dave: Just wham.

>> Mike: But I told the guy, like, we take. We go to car X. By the way, did you know that one of the. Our guy from car.

>> Darin: Yeah, I was gonna take gone. Yeah. Yeah.

>> Mike: I don't know what to do.

>> Darin: Yeah, he left because I took my car to car X. Yeah. And, a guy named Dave. Is there not. Not Dave Lay, but another person. There's other people in the world named Dave.

>> Mike: See, I always thought the guy's name was Dave.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Just me. Who was. What was this guy's name? Was it.

>> Darin: Last guy was Dan.

>> Mike: Dan.

>> Darin: Yeah. So I asked him, I said, hey, what happened to Dan? And, yeah, Dan apparently just. And left. Yeah. So Dave had, Was the one who told me that he thinks my engines on its last legs. So I go to pick it up the next morning, take it out in.

>> Mike: The woods, set it on fire, see what that.

>> Darin: Do a Walter White, do some donuts, and then just light it on fire tank. Yeah.

>> Mike: In a Walmart, leave it in neutral, headed towards the front door.

>> Darin: That would be. That would be great. I'd get on the news.

>> Mike: I would. Dude, I would come down with the camera and film you walking away from it as it explodes in a fireball.

>> Darin: Better to bump it up.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get some striper playing in the background.

>> Darin: Striper.

>> Mike: Striper.

>> Darin: Not Dio. Striper.

>> Dave: Well, that came out of luck for you.

>> Mike: It's a Honda crv. All right, I'll bring out the do for a Trans Am. Yeah.

>> Darin: For God's sakes, that's still better than S'more Badass and striper. Okay.

>> Mike: All right. White snake.

>> Mike: pull Winger into it.

>> Mike: There you go.

>> Darin: Winger is better than striper. Right. Anyway, so I was supposed to pick the car up before they closed at 6, and I couldn't get off because at work it was just absolutely insanity. And I call him up and said, I'm gonna have to pick it up tomorrow. It's one of those days. Can. Can I leave it there overnight? Absolutely. The next day I go to pick it up and, and he says, you know what? don't worry about it.

>> Mike: That's when you know you've had a.

>> Darin: Bad day, took pity on me and just threw in the oil change. And I love Carx.


Dave: When you're driving Old Yeller that's when trouble comes

And we have taken our last seven.

>> Mike: Cars to Carx that's when you know you're driving Old Yeller. That's when you know it's time to take that thing behind the barn and just put a bullet in it.

>> Darin: It's like, he can't charge me to euthanize the car. Yeah. So you know what, Dave?

>> Mike: I see your next commercial, it's going.

>> Darin: To be for car.

>> Mike: That's right.

>> Dave: If you're driving Old Yeller.

>> Mike: Exactly.

>> Darin: Take it to kara.


Has everybody seen the Shawshank Redemption? Yes. So last night, you guys have. Yes, Dave

>> Dave: The 250th episode of Irritable Dad Syndrome is brought to you by Whompers. All beef footlong hot dogs and their new sweet and spicy pickle relish, available everywhere. Quality condiments are sold. Now back to the show.

>> Darin: So last night, you guys have. Has everybody seen the Shawshank Redemption?

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: Okay. Yes, Dave.

>> Dave: parts of it.

>> Darin: Parts of it.

>> Dave: I edited parts of it, parts of it, and to another show. I haven't seen it start to finish.

>> Darin: Oh, my God.

>> Dave: I've been to the place where they shot it.

>> Darin: Okay, so the Shawshank Redemption is, in my opinion, the greatest movie. I love the Shawshank. It's my favorite movie and the most.

>> Mike: Satisfying ending of this movie.

>> Darin: Yeah. we have talked about and talked about and talked about it, and Cameron, just out of the blue one day, says, you guys know I haven't seen this movie. I'm like, how? What do you mean? How have you not. He says, you told me I was too young to watch it. And I was like, well, yeah, like, five years ago. How come you haven't spoken up since? So last night, we got everybody together and. And Cameron watched the Shawshank Redemption.

>> Mike: Blew his mind.

>> Darin: Yes. And I tell you, watching a movie with someone who hasn't seen it yet, it's the best. It's just the best because years ago, I had that experience with Jacob when we watched the Fugitive. Uh-huh. Jacob was about to lose his mind watching the future. Dad, what's going to happen? He's. Oh. Oh. He m. Was just on the edge of his seat, and I'm loving every second of it. Right. But that was us watching the Shawshank Redemption with Cameron last night. Oh, my God. He loved it. Just absolutely loved it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I'm telling you, they need to create a special category at the Academy Awards. And just, like, we really screwed up, and we are going to retroactively give Shawshank Redemption an Academy Award. When.

>> Mike: When did Shawshank come out?

>> Darin: The same year as Forrest Gump and Pulp Fiction. So whatever year that was.

>> Mike: The 93, 9293 something. Pulp Fiction came out. 94.

>> Darin: Okay. So it was 94 right in there.

>> Mike: So that era.

>> Mike: There was so much.

>> Darin: Didn't win a thing.

>> Mike: There was so much good coming out in that era that a lot of things that deserved awards did not get them. there's like a one week period. There's a meme going around like, I think the Metallica, Black Album, Nirvana, Nevermind, freaking, Sound Garden, Guns and Roses all came out on the same week. And it's like, what do you. What?

>> Darin: Hey, what happened?

>> Mike: We're having a similar experience with the kids. We're going through Breaking Bad right now. And it's really, really hard to get everyone together right now because Andrew is either working or working a game.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: He works more than me at this point. He should be supporting this family.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: M. And so he's actually. He's at work right now. So.


We watched Breaking Bad early and I was excited. I wanted to watch this episode. So we're watching it. I don't want to spoil

We watched Breaking Bad early and I was excited. I wanted to watch this episode. We're on Better Call Saul, the episode.

>> Darin: Where we first saw.

>> Mike: And if you look at those episodes, you've got Saul, you've got the first appearance of Mike, you've got the planes crashing. I mean, a lot happens in these four or five episodes.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I don't want to spoil it for you. If you haven't seen, Lucy Takes the football back when Charlie tries to kick it. Charlie that. Every time. I don't want to spoil anything, I'm back. Anyway, the point is we're going through this and watching Breaking Bad with the kids. Because originally I watched it with Bess. So we're watching it. It's Walt Schuyler. Walt Schuyler. Walt Skyler. And then eventually, you know, Gus and then Hank with the kids. They love, especially Andrew loves Badger. Skinny Pete. Yeah. And Combo.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And Andrew was laughing his ass off at Saul. Uh-huh. And I was like, I'd never. Like. I knew. They're awesome characters. I love this series. I've gone through the series I don't know how many times, but now I'm seeing how awesome those characters are. Like, every scene with Badger and Skinny Pete is just comedy gold.

>> Darin: Yes. And they need to have their own spin off.

>> Mike: They do.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: They do.

>> Darin: They really do.


Have you seen Severance? I have not. I watched the first two episodes of the first season

>> Mike: But that leads into. You have Severance on the rundown.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Because I looked at the rundown now.

>> Darin: Have you seen Severance?

>> Mike: I have not.

>> Darin: Have you seen.

>> Dave: I watched the first two episodes of the first season.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Dave: I never got past that.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: So Severance, we're on episode like seven Okay.

>> Darin: I think of the Severance is like the Office and the Twilight Zone.

>> Mike: I was gonna say the Office and.

>> Darin: Lost, but it's directed by Christopher Nolan.

>> Mike: Like Lost.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: You didn't like.

>> Mike: Oh, no, no, no. The end of it.

>> Darin: Oh no.

>> Mike: The end of four seasons in and that.

>> Mike: That was it.

>> Darin: yeah. The end of Loss was horrible.

>> Dave: They messed that up.

>> Mike: They got. They jacked.

>> Darin: They did. When I. I know they could. They could not have possibly ended it the way they had something in mind.

>> Mike: When I started, like everything. The original Flash Gordon with the Queen soundtrack is one of my favorite movies of all time. So I literally like everything but the with Severance. I will say when I saw you had on the rundown, I was like, oh. Because the. The least you know about this show.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: The better it is. We didn't know jack about the show. We knew that Adam Scott was in it and we knew there were scenes where there was a white background and scenes with a black background.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Adam Scott on a white background and black. That's all we knew. And I will say that you won't ruin it by saying they literally, they work at this company.

>> Mike: They go down an elevator and when they go down, they've gone through a surgery where it splits their mind. So whatever's happening outside, they don't know about when they're down, when they're in the company. And when they're in the company, they don't know what.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah. When they're working, that's their any. Yeah, their any is at the office and the only thing they focus on is what is happening at work. Yeah. When they leave work, that's their Audi.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Their Audi has no idea what their innie is doing and vice versa.

>> Mike: So I thought it was a show about belly button when I first saw the memes coming out about it. This looks like a stupid show, right?

>> Darin: But well, I found out how many people watch it because I posted that my ennis bracket, is doing way better than my m. Audi's bracket. And one person commented on my Facebook.

>> Mike: So I love the show because one of the reasons I love it is because if you just think about that just bare concept every episode, I mean, like I said, we're only on episode seven, but every episode has plugged played with that idea. So well, like the, yeah, this is not a spoiler, but the Audi gets a delivery that somehow makes it to the innie. But the innie doesn't know about the Audi's delivery and Audi doesn't know that you know what I mean?

>> Darin: The truth is, I could explain everything. I know, and you guys would be fine. It's so confusing.


Jason, you've been with us since the beginning of the podcast

Hi. So, Jason, you've been with us since the beginning of the podcast.

>> Mike: I have, yeah.

>> Darin: And. And thank you so much for that. And Jason, you were, I believe you're not our first patron, but you were the first person who made a financial contribution to our show. And, you believed in us early on, and I appreciate that and I appreciate you listening all this time. And, I'm just. I'm very excited that we could have a fan of the show.

>> Mike: He made a non patron, donation.

>> Darin: Donations of the show. Yeah.

>> Mike: Which directly went to this.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: Well, yeah, that's half. When I listen to the first couple episodes, I'm like, dog, good Lord, these guys need help, you know, and then I thought, well, I can't help them be funnier, so just go ahead and monetize it in some way. No, you guys have been great, especially on some bad days or things where, they're not going very well. I'm able to turn you guys on and, and you guys are true friends to, you know, outside of the podcast and everything, too. And I'm able to listen to you guys and I kind of get a refresher and kind of put myself back up a little bit for you guys. Humor. Oh, well, it's silly, it's stupid, and it's funny all at the same time. So that's why I enjoy it because that's mostly part of my day, you know? so, yeah, I appreciate it.

>> Darin: I know. I appreciate you saying that.


Who's your favorite host of irritableness? Dave Lake

So who's your favorite host of irritableness? Dave.

>> Mike: Ah, Dave Lake.

>> Dave: Dave, I appreciate that Dave is.

>> Mike: As the kids say, the.

>> Mike: I haven't seen him yet, but we'll. We'll judge that later after the podcast.

>> Dave: Well, they are substantial. Profound.

>> Mike: I've heard.

>> Darin: No, I. I love when we, you know, we ask people for reviews of the show and the people like, I love Dave Le. Like, that's. Yeah, that's great. That's just great.

>> Dave: Believe that.

>> Darin: That no, people. People really enjoy you. They get a kick out of you.

>> Mike: I. I do have a question.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: For you, Mike M. The Christmas lights out front.

>> Mike: Those are Halloween lights.

>> Mike: Oh, those are from further.

>> Darin: Those are red.

>> Mike: And Halloween 2023. The welcome mat. We have one.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Dave: Says Merry Christmas.

>> Mike: I'm gonna do something about that.

>> Darin: You know, he took down his Christmas tree three weeks ago, too.

>> Mike: But that's okay. I'm just.

>> Darin: No it doesn't matter.

>> Mike: We don't care.

>> Darin: Yeah. so no, I mean, I'm not judging you guys. Just like.

>> Mike: I'm not judging at all.

>> Darin: You like having the tree up?

>> Mike: Yeah, we, If you haven't been able to tell already, to get to the point of the house, of where you are right now, you've had to come through the front door and see the Halloween lights from a year or so ago. You've made it past Booba and Marbles. who. Marbles has a weight problem now. We need to talk about that.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah, Marbles.

>> Mike: He needs an intervention. Okay,

>> Darin: Lay off the sweet cakes.

>> Mike: We don't put on a lot of airs. We just have a lot of geeky. I like.

>> Mike: Your basement is completely full of stuff that I Totally jealous.

>> Mike: I miss the basement. I'm down here once a week. Like I said, this used to be where I lived. and then we've given it to Charlie so that he may scream and unleash, unholy hell upon the terrorists from Rainbow Six Siege. So he does that down here. And then once a week on Tuesday, we come down and say, honey, you need to quit shooting people in the head for an hour because Darren and Mike are going to be here. And he goes up dutifully and then we do this and he comes back down and takes over again. Meanwhile, I grind camos up in the computer room. Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: but no, it's been pretty awesome now that you set up this, space.

>> Mike: This is kind of permanently kind of a thing. Yeah, yeah, that's kind.

>> Darin: I remember you were so excited. You're like, can't wait for you to come over and show you and let.


Me ask you a question. What was your first guy setup? Was it just a table

>> Mike: Me ask you a question.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: What was your first guy setup? Was it just a table? Did you do it? A kitchen table?

>> Mike: It was this laptop.

>> Darin: No, the first time we did it, we did it in my basement.

>> Mike: In your basement?

>> Darin: Yeah, we used to do my basement. And we switched. I had this.

>> Mike: I had just bought this laptop.

>> Mike: we had a. The microphone. The yeti microphone.

>> Darin: Yeah. And we tried to.

>> Mike: No video.

>> Darin: We tried to position that right in between the two of us.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Dave: It's like a barbershop quartet.

>> Darin: Exactly. Sometimes. Sometimes it sounded.

>> Mike: Is that when the pen got through? No, I was 40 or 45 later.

>> Darin: That was the episode with textual tension.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: Yeah, I was.

>> Mike: I'm sorry. Squirrels. Copula.

>> Darin: Yeah, they were. They used to have a podcast about romance novels. Yes. And, since I knew nothing about romance novels, I was Going to read a section out of a book from David Sedaris called Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk. And the bit was, you know, since they talk about romance novels, the closest thing I could find was a chapter where a squirrel is in love with a chipmunk. And I'm reading it and Mike would not shut up. I've got a sentence. What's he saying that for? And I say, is it a squirrel or is it a black squirrel? Does he have a job? What's he doing there? What's he. How come he's a chipmunk? How come. Does he. Does he like rodents too? Like Mike, shut up. Because, I mean, it wasn't going well anyway, so I'm trying. Finally, when the episode was over with, I threw a pen at him. Yeah.

>> Mike: I could see. for all the other people who listen to this podcast, all three of you, there are no pens on this table.

>> Mike: No, no, no, no.

>> Mike: There are none to be seen on the bookcase either in front of or behind me. However, there is one almost over by the TV I don't think Darren has seen yet.

>> Mike: I will say that. so we've split up duties in the podcast.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Darren does all of the editing. I do. I do the, the technical.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And the, the videos. I make the videos.

>> Darin: M. And I edit the audio portion of the podcast.

>> Mike: But then I also am a member of a number of different streams and threads that talk about podcasts. So I like all this, like, stuff that people talk about.


You shouldn't come onto a group on Facebook full of people who want to start podcasts

And one of the things, one of the. One of the groups that I'm in on Facebook are Facebook podcasters or podcasters, first time podcasters or whatever. And this lady came on there. I have this amazing idea for a new podcast which drives me crazy. Those kind of, posts drive me crazy. I think if you have an amazing idea for a podcast, you should just make the podcast. You shouldn't come onto a group on Facebook full of people who want to start podcasts.

>> Darin: Agree.

>> Mike: The idea out there.

>> Darin: Agree. Yeah.

>> Mike: You know, it's like walking into the patent office and just yelling out what you think you may do. Yeah. Anyway, her amazing idea was she's going to, her and her friend are going to read romance novels and talk about the idiocy in. Of romance novels.

>> Darin: And they're like, that's already.

>> Mike: And then there's like hundreds. The annoying thing about these groups. Okay, here we go. The annoying thing about these groups.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Is everybody's supposed to be so damn positive. They're all supposed to be collaborative and we're gonna help. Oh, my gosh. That's amazing. What an amazing idea.

>> Darin: Julia, that's an amazing idea.

>> Mike: You want to talk about squirrel scat, and you want to weigh it and figure out exactly what it is that the squirrel ate, and then have a. And research that and do a podcast. But I think it's going to be amazing. Can you have squirrels on your show? Can you have them? Come on. Maybe you can have a squirrel transl. To talk about the scat and just these ideas, and then all these people are. That's amazing. You're gonna have squirrels and you're gonna talk about it. Oh, my God. I've never heard of anything like this. This is the best thing I've ever heard. And then I'll come in and say, I've already seen that idea. It's like, mic drop. Everything stops. Like, how dare you? This is her dream. She wants to talk about romance novels, and you come in here telling her that it's already been done, that it's an old idea. And I just. I literally just said I was on. Literally on a podcast that does it years ago. Yeah. And. And newsflash, they quit.

>> Darin: Yeah, they did.

>> Mike: Well, I was going to.

>> Mike: Well, they paused.

>> Darin: They're in a state of flux. M. Yeah.

>> Mike: So either you guys ruined the podcast and. Or, oh, I wouldn't doubt that we were right to begin with.

>> Darin: So just saying we weren't invited back.

>> Mike: It's an noise. You know, I'm on a number of different groups. I won't talk about the tool utility and Rush because I. I grind those in the ground. But a lot of these other groups that are podcast groups, no, one will come out and say, that's a idea. I will say that there are people that come on and say, I'm going to do a comedy, podcast. Me and my buddy are just going to talk about stuff, and there are tons of people saying, yeah, there's like a million of those.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And I'm one. I was like, yeah, there's like a million of those. Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. They're like, yeah, yeah, we're one of them.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: somehow I support one. I don't understand anything.

>> Mike: But we've got Dave Lay. They don't have.

>> Darin: No. A lot of podcasts don't have an announcer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: He's carrying.

>> Mike: And they don't have editors and they don't have microphones.


Darren took over editing responsibilities after I left the show

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Dave: And they don't sound effects.

>> Mike: They don't have a place to record that doesn't have screeching. And happen in the background from listening to some of them and ah, we've got a decent show, just nobody listens.

>> Darin: I would say. Mike Chisholm talks about us like we walk on water. Okay. Whenever he brings us up to other people, especially on his Letterman podcast, he says that he's like, my God, the production quality of that show is insane. He's mentioned, he loves it. We have an announcer and that we have music and that we have sound effects. And I asked him one day, I'm like, you know, why don't you ever. And there's nothing wrong with this podcast. No, he has a very good podcast.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: He presses record, he talks and he stops it. And that's it. That's what it is. I could never do that. honestly I could never do that. That's because I've worked in television for 31 years now and I am so prone to taking audio from somebody and having to cut it down to either a minute or 30 seconds, whatever. And I'm used to cutting down long pauses, stammers.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And, and that type of thing. And so I can't, I actually just cannot stand letting a pause go without taking it out.

>> Mike: I, I appreciate after, I mean, we're in our fifth year.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Well, we're almost in our fifth year at this point.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I appreciate, I will, we will sit down here and talk about weird.

>> Mike: For an hour and a half.

>> Mike: And you'll leave and I'll think, that's it. That's our last episode. We didn't, that's, I don't know what the hell. I, I, I feel like we talked about our butts and then somebody said a weird word and then we, he left. And then the episode will drop and I'll listen to it and it's amazing. It's like the, you, you edit, you edit around the stuff.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And for a long time I could not listen to the show after Darren took over editing responsibilities. Because when I was editing we would go back and forth. There was a period like, I'll do this when you do the next one.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: And I always like to go to Panera and I would sit in there and I would edit and I would be talking, I would be blathering on about something and I would cut out about half of what I said. Basically. You sound like a. And I would get down, that's good. I would take about three minutes of me talking and get it down to like 30 seconds. And then Darren would do the thing and you Know, you do this. Your talk, you'd be like, I would rather. You know, there's like three or four takes in there.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: where you have to get to the right one.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And I was like, darren's not gonna edit me. Darren's not gonna edit the. Out of what I'm saying. So I'm gonna sound like an idiot. And he's gonna sound great because he knows, you know, up front.

>> Darin: Did you not trust me?

>> Mike: It's not that I didn't trust you. I think I'm more critical of myself than I think you are. Then I. I just started listening again, and you do a phenomenal job.


You did a good job, Darren. Are you actually complimenting? I am. Yeah. All that is to say

>> Darin: Well, we have.

>> Mike: Like I said, we have one. We literally show again.

>> Mike: Are you actually complimenting?

>> Mike: I am.

>> Mike: We just talked about earlier how much you guys should have heard it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: That Darren doesn't get any compliments. So off the microphone, he doesn't really get anything other than. Yeah. Let's go ahead and start the show. You did a good job, Darren. It doesn't ever occur. It doesn't happen. Mike just pretty much riddles. He just makes fun of him the entire time. And then the microphone turns on. He doesn't really stop. And this is the first time I've heard it the entire time I've been here.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: We.

>> Mike: I was amazed.

>> Mike: We have shows where I show my entire ass and he edits it. He edits it to make me actually sound funny. And I'm like, I don't know how he did. Like, if I ever do stand up, if I ever go and do a thing on my own, I'm gonna need you. I'm gonna need you there.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: But, Darren, come up and I'll. I'll whisper the joke in your ear. And you'd like, say that you.

>> Darin: Don'T want to tell.

>> Mike: Leave out the part about them.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Or whatever it is that I'm gonna say.

>> Mike: We did talk about that earlier.

>> Darin: There's a sound effect I'm gonna use.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: All that is to say I do appreciate. I. This. This is like. I mean, we're not famous.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: You know.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: we're not rich. But go back to where this started. This started with two sitting at a picnic table.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: At Boy Scouts telling, stories about marshmallows or whatever the hell we were talking about.

>> Darin: No. I really wish that we had recorded one or all of those conversations.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Because. And, you guys really don't know this, but when Andrew and Cameron were in scouts together, Mike and I would go and on the days where you and I were both there. We would sit there and talk about the stupidest anything you can possibly imagine. And after a couple of weeks, people would start intentionally sitting around us to be part of whatever we were talking about. And that's what inspired Mike to do the podcast. He calls me up one day, says, he ever notice. Yeah. Have you ever noticed that people listen to what we have to say?

>> Mike: Well, I'm going to get even more sappy.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: All right. I'm damn near 50 at this point. I don't need to impress anyone. There's a Bill Burr bit that I love. Basically, the way he started out was, I'm over 40. I'm just going to say this and see what happens. I don't care. I'll say it, and I'm just going to sit back and watch what happens.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And I'm at that point, and I find myself in all kinds of social situations where I find I really don't care what the other person is going to think about what I say. I'm just going to tell them what I think and go on with my life. And then the people that I connect with after doing that, I feel I have a strong connection with, and I feel. I feel good about talking to you. I've always had that with Darren.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I've had that with you, Jason, and I've had that with Mr. Dave Lay. I can sense that when I'm talking to people now. And I see the. You know, I don't want to. I don't want to denigrate the opposite of that, because I do see the opposite with people. There are a lot of people that I don't connect with and just, I. I used to think, well, there's something wrong with them or something wrong with me. I think people are just different people. But I connect with who I connect with. So I throw that stuff out. I just let it all bear out. Because, again, I'm almost 50, and, you know, I keep my crew, my peeps, my posse, your boys, my posse, and my boys with me.

>> Darin: Yo, that's right.

>> Mike: And I think you guys have, realized, if you haven't already, my favorite band is U2, and they kind of do the same thing.


Rush's Alex Lifeson says music comes secondary to best friendship

They literally don't care.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Bono said:20 years ago, We've made more money than we would ever be able to spend in multiple lifetimes. We're just doing what we're doing because we're having fun and we're best friends.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: my other favorite band, Rush, the same thing. I watched an amazing video of Alex Lifeson talking about his friendship with Getty Lee on cbc.

>> Dave: Right.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Dave: Yeah.

>> Mike: I almost cried. I, mean, he was almost crying in it. He was just like, you know, for us, the music is secondary. We just go to hang out. Like I tell my wife we're going to play some music, and I go over there and we just hang out and talk about. And sometimes we play and sometimes we don't. We miss Neil. We talk about Neil.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: But we're friends first, and the music comes later.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And, you know, I kind of feel the same way. Yeah, I see that. So, that's where I am in life. That's where I am with this podcast. That's where I am with my relationships. So suck it.

>> Darin: Well, I mean, I. Wow.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: No, I love this podcast. I love that. I do, too.


This podcast is brought to you by Whoppers All Beef Footlong Hot Dogs

>> Dave: This portion of our show is brought to you by Whomper's All Beef Footlong Hot Dogs. Hi, I'm Dave Lay. Just when you thought they couldn't taste any better, Whompers has created a new product that's going to turn the hot dog world upside down. Now available everywhere, Whompers Sweet and Spicy Pickle Relish. Now, listen, the fine folks at Whompers didn't just throw some relish in a jar. Hell, no, I don't think so. they spent years growing the perfect pickles and combining them with the most delicious spices from around the world to bring you a relish that's simply amazing on an all beef footlong Hop hot dog. So what are you waiting for? Go out and buy a jar of Whomper's Sweet and Spicy Pickle Relish. And while you're at it, grab a pack of Whopper's All Beef Foot Long Hot Dogs. Remember, if your hot dog isn't a foot long, they'll refund your money. Guaranteed.

>> Darin: By the way, the Whompers Sweet and Spicy Relish commercial is amazing.

>> Dave: Are they selling?

>> Darin: Oh, off the shelves? yeah. No, you can't. They're actually out of stock.

>> Dave: And that's exactly at Kroger.

>> Darin: Well, anywhere fine sausages, and relish products are sold.

>> Mike: Yeah, by the way, there are some fine sausages by the packages. No, no, no.

>> Darin: Well, you gotta chew and eat. By the way, Jason. Jason went to Kroger, and there was like, an empty part of the. And then he asked. It was like, he thought that's where the Whompers were. And Jason asked the guy if they had any Whompers. He says, do we have a what? Do you have any Whoppers? All be foot long hot dogs.

>> Mike: Yeah, I had no idea what he's talking about.

>> Mike: I didn't know they made up commercials. But now I understand why they keep talking about Otis Elevator.

>> Darin: Well, Whoppers is the official sponsor of the podcast.

>> Mike: They've been our longest running sponsor.

>> Darin: It used to be Diff Liquid Concentrated Wallpaper Stripper. But Whoppers, they, they're our official sponsor.

>> Mike: Whompers is an American classic.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: they've been there from the beginning.

>> Darin: No, no, not for.

>> Mike: No, no, no. They've been there in the beginning of America.

>> Darin: Oh, yes. Yeah. When the. When the pilgrims came.

>> Mike: Pilgrims brought their Whompers.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: On the boats.

>> Mike: I thought the idiots had Whoppers.

>> Mike: Everyone, of any character, has a wamper.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah.

>> Mike: That was their original slogan, you know, back in the back of the 1700s. It didn't. Everyone of a character has a Whopper. It doesn't.

>> Mike: You know, that's a horrible marketing scheme.

>> Mike: It is.

>> Mike: Everybody's got a Whopper who has to buy.

>> Darin: Everyone the character has a Whopper.

>> Mike: It's what they used to say. And the clergy had a problem with that because people were asking them to prove it and, you know, they don't want to, you know. Yeah, you got to draw a line somewhere.


Cameron got his first job at a local Culver's

>> Dave: Time now for the Culver's story of the week.

>> Darin: Cameron got his first job. He's worked at Culver's now for like a, month, I think.

>> Mike: Yeah. With their, with their custard and their butter burgers.

>> Darin: The Butterburg, home of the butter burger man. And Culver's is great, and he loves his job. And I went to pick him up at work the other day, and I said, how'd it go? And he goes, oh, great. He goes, you're not gonna believe what I heard.

>> Mike: Oh, some Culver's gossip.

>> Darin: So we've got the Culver story of the week.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Cameron's job is to run food out to the people who get stuff at the drive through.

>> Mike: Okay?

>> Darin: So he runs this order out to this gentleman, and he asks the man, and he says, is there anything else I can get you? And the guy said, yeah, how about a fat girl to keep me warm?

>> Dave: Did, he drop the bag, man?

>> Darin: And it gets better. So Cameron's just like, did Cameron bring.

>> Mike: Out a fat girl to keep him warm?

>> Darin: Now I probably would have said, hang on, I'll be right back. Cameron looks at him and says, I don't think I can do that.

>> Mike: To which I would have said, yeah, you can. It's all on the legs.

>> Mike: Lift with the legs.

>> Darin: Oh, my God. How about a fat girl to keep me warm? Yeah. He's making more money than he's ever seen before in his life.

>> Mike: Is that the one in Hamilton?

>> Darin: Yeah, it's one right down the street.

>> Mike: You have to be in Hamilton for that kind of response.

>> Dave: This has been the Culver's story of the week.


My first job was at an oil refinery. Yeah. With the oil refinery? They had a carbon fiber plant

Do you guys ever work in fast food?

>> Darin: I never did. My first. Well, my first job was at a factory. it was called Denise Lingerie. And I thought it was a lingerie factory. And, I was like, well, after the place closes, I'm gonna run and dive headfirst into a giant vat of panties. And, they didn't make panties anymore. They made sweatpants. M. So I wish they had changed the name because I was very disappointed when I started. But, yeah, I basically swept up sweatpants scrap.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But then, after that, my first real job was at, Winn Dixie, the grocery store where I bagged groceries. And I was courteous. associate of the month twice.

>> Dave: And you push cards.

>> Darin: Oh, God. All the time. Yeah. Well, we called them buggies in Tennessee. Go out and. Go out and get the buggies. Yeah. I don't know. That's what we called them.

>> Mike: My, Yeah, my first job was at an oil refinery.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Good Lord. Wow. And then, what did you do.

>> Darin: With the oil refinery?

>> Mike: They had a carbon fiber plant, and we were dismantling the carbon fiber plant. I was a grunt. I was a labor. I was the lowest of the low. Okay, so carbon fibers are exceptionally. No, no, no, no, no.

>> Darin: Two weeks ago, we talked about polymers.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Now we're talking about carbon fiber.

>> Mike: They get stuck in your pores. Right.

>> Mike: Fiberglass.

>> Mike: The PPE levels back then, the personal protect. Yes, that was, required. Or, What's that. What is the word I'm looking for? Recommended. The recommended PPE was not up to snuff back then. Hm. So I would come home, and they told me, you know, don't take a hot shower when you get home from work. Well, I didn't. I listened to them. Yeah, but even with a cold shower, it still gets stuck in your pores still. You still itch all through.

>> Darin: So what do you do to get this carbon fiber?

>> Mike: It doesn't matter. The. The important part of the story is there was a part of my tenure there where I had to go into what I now know as a confined space and get the carbon out of it. And I had a respirator.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And I was never trained, on how to make sure that I have a seal or anything. Yeah, just. I just naturally figured that out. Yeah, it was, you know, I had, like, a full face respirator going in there. I was smart enough because I've seen some back in, you know, on the movies and things. You need to make sure you have a seal on it, that I made sure I had one. And then later in life when I learned about those things, I always thought back to that. I was like, oh, my God.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Wow. That could have been horrible.

>> Darin: See, the. The closest I came to being in danger when I was at Winn Dixie, was, this little girl was walking down the milk aisle and she had a balloon, and she let it go and it flew up to the ceiling. And she was upset, and I thought, I can fix this. So I went out and I got some milk crates and I won. And then two, and then three and four. And I made, like, a ladder out of milk crates.

>> Darin: And I climbed up these milk crates. The highest one could have fallen over because they're milk crates. Yeah. I grabbed the string and I pulled the balloon down and I handed it to the girl and she ran off.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I'm like, no, thank you or anything. And, boy, was I pissed. I wanted to just go and pop the damn thing. That story went nowhere.

>> Mike: No, it didn't.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: And then I also. I also worked at this same place on, in the summers as I was going through college.


Berber: I worked in oil refinery in the summers with the suits

and boy, working in oil refinery in the summers with the. The suits. I had, you know, you had flame retardant, what you can't say sucked. And it was next to a farm. And they would tell me about how cows would get into the refinery, go to the crude pit and get stuck. And it's like the labre tar pits out there with a cow, like, sinking. They can't do anything about it.

>> Dave: Sounds.

>> Mike: I never saw it myself, but I did see the tar pit.

>> Mike: I think that Berber, whatever that noise is you just made needs to be, over the cuss words. Make that a sound bite for when.

>> Mike: He does a really.

>> Darin: By the way, speaking of cuss words, we've done this show. This is our 250th episode. This is the first time Mike has ever said scat. I don't think we have to. It's like, you don't have to edit that out.

>> Mike: Scott is.

>> Darin: It's like, what next.

>> Mike: Next week you're going to say word after that.

>> Darin: Dung. I love a dung. Out.


Jason's first job was actually working in Kroger's non food shelves

>> Mike: We talk About Kroger all the time. I never told you I worked for Kroger. Did you work for Kroger? I worked for them, yeah. I was a tech guy. I was tech service.

>> Mike: I was the dude that would come out to your play. It was at the university. So I would come to your whatever office and help you figure out the stupid you did to your computer.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah. And then after that was my. When my career started.

>> Darin: Now Jason, what was your thing?

>> Mike: Crash and burning came back.

>> Mike: Oh, my first job was actually working in Kroger's.

>> Darin: Okay, what did you do?

>> Mike: I actually stocked the non food shelves, which was great. You know why? Yeah, it was great. Because you got. That's all the candy. Yeah, all that stuff. Everything. That is not a food. Now they don't consider candy the food because it goes into different aisle. but every once in a while those candy bags just happen to open.

>> Darin: Themselves and that's that same thing happened at the Winn Dixie.

>> Mike: It happens all the time. And it's unfortunate. And going back and these. You just have to throw it away. I mean, share it between co workers. But the most embarrassing thing is, non food actually goes all the way back to like the pharmacy stuff and.

>> Darin: which a lot of that you can't eat.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: It's like tampons.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You can't do that.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Mike: Yeah, the maxi pads, things of that nature. And the condoms. yeah, all that. All that's non food. So there's a lot of interesting questions that get brought up when you're.

>> Darin: Well, you don't have to rotate those for freshness. Do you, do you have to just.

>> Mike: I rotate my.

>> Mike: Just the condoms.

>> Mike: I worked with a guy back in the day who had a small dog, which wasn't a, Chihuahua, but I think all small dogs are Chihuahuas. So it was just called a Chihuahua.

>> Mike: Condoms. That small. But yeah.

>> Mike: And it ate condoms. They had to do surgery on this dog to remove the condoms. Oh my God, the surgery. And this was in 90. I'm sorry, 2002. He told me the story. The surgery was $15,000.

>> Mike: Were they flavored condoms? I bet it's banana.

>> Mike: They were. Or nut. Yeah, they were nut flavored.

>> Dave: What if the dog broke wind?

>> Mike: Mean, what are you just going to come out with like a. It's like a trombone float away.

>> Darin: And now.


Dave: I had Burger King in college. I was there for all three months

Dave, what was your first job?

>> Dave: Burger King.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Dave: That's why I was asking.

>> Darin: I might.

>> Mike: I had Burger King in college. Y. I was there for all three months before I got tired of Every of them.

>> Mike: Now, did you come in as a peasant and you have to work your way up to be the Burger King? Or is it.

>> Dave: No, everyone's a peasant.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Pretty much. First they start you at fries. That's where the big bucks come in.

>> Mike: The screwed up part is.

>> Mike: No.

>> Mike: When you're a kid, you're the Burger King because they give you the little hat.

>> Dave: That's right.

>> Mike: Demoted from then on.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah. Now, what did you do at Burger King?

>> Dave: Made, burgers. It's, you know, the thing would come off the assembly line and you know how this works. then you put, put it on the bun. And they usually, you know, they were known for their customization.

>> Darin: So have it your way.

>> Mike: Have it your way.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Dave: Hit the button on the monitor to say, hey, I'm doing this one. So it disappears or it disappears from everybody else's monitor.

>> Mike: You claim a burger. Yeah, Like, I have this.

>> Darin: I've got. Hey, guys. The one with just mustard. I got this one. Yeah.

>> Dave: Yeah.

>> Mike: And then how many times did your flame broil, catch fire?

>> Dave: I didn't see it happen, but I remember the manager getting very upset. I don't know how it happened, but.

>> Mike: We were on a first name basis with the Lima, Ohio fire Department.

>> Dave: I guess that did happen a lot.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Dave: Because that grease and the burgers would just incinerate and explode.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Dave: And it burned the chute.

>> Mike: Holy Jesus.

>> Mike: Dear Lord God.

>> Mike: Well, that's this last time I'm coming on this podcast.

>> Darin: Hang on. What happened?

>> Dave: Please stand by while we're working on technical difficulties.


Jason Durbin worked at Burger King for three months

>> Darin: And we're back. Jason. Yes. You were telling a great story while we were fixing our light. go ahead and tell the story about when you worked at the, Burger King.

>> Mike: So I worked at Burger King.

>> Darin: Jason Durbin.

>> Mike: yeah. Thank you.

>> Darin: You're welcome.

>> Mike: I've worked at, Burger King for all three months. It was absolutely horrible, and I will never do it again. But our buddies called us about, about midnight and they told us, they worked at McDonald's right, right next to us and said that this carload of girls had come through and ordered a, ketchup packet, which they charged them 10 cents for. And that didn't make much sense to us. And we're kind of oblivious at the point. And we're overworked and.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Grease all over us, the floor slippery, and we're just trying to go through things.

>> Darin: Sounds like a party.

>> Mike: Yeah, not that kind of. But, so anyways, they come through our drive through and, they order an orange slice, which, I don't know if you know. Burger King. They don't really have orange slices. Burger King. No. so, we just said, go ahead and pull on through. We'll figure something out. And they come through, and it's a little two door Cavalier. and there are five girls in there. And, they happen to not be wearing anything.

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Mike: And, so we.

>> Mike: Were they wearing their seat belts?

>> Mike: They. They were not.

>> Mike: It was Travis.

>> Mike: I'll tell you, in Lima, that's not a big thing.

>> Darin: That's. Hey, I'm sorry. That's illegal to be pulled over.

>> Mike: Inappropriate.

>> Mike: So there were six employees at this restaurant that we had. You know, I don't even know if called Burger King restaurant at this point. yeah. So each one of us took a turn giving a ketchup packet to these girls, so. Gave them six ketchup packets. But it was a math problem. There was five of them.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: So they took off after the fifth one.

>> Darin: Okay. Did you charge them 10 cents a ketchup packet?

>> Mike: I, honestly, I thought that, I should give them a tip.

>> Darin: That never happened at Winn Dixie. Yeah. No.

>> Mike: Never happened at the oil refinery. We never had a. Nope.

>> Darin: Nobody ever walked through Winn Dixie naked.

>> Mike: I was wondering why you guys didn't ask me about my fast food story.

>> Mike: Walter White walked through the wind, Dixie.

>> Darin: Yes, he did. I did have an old man at Winn Dixie who. He was walking through there, and he was holding an onion. Yeah. He's got an onion in his hand, and he walks up to a cashier, and he holds it up to her, and then she's like, excuse me? He goes. He holds it like, you. You want to see my onion? And then he holds it, and she. And he keeps, like, reaching it over to her, like, here, like, touch my onion. And then she'd grab it. He'd pull it away. Then he'd go to another. Go to another cashier and try to show that cashier his onion. And he would hold it, and finally, whenever they would reach for it, he would pull it back and start laughing. And I'm on my break. I'm ready to, like, waiting to clock in, and I'm just watching this guy. And finally I had to, like. And I called my boss. I'm like. Mr. Wilcox said, yeah. I said, we've, got an old man out here who won't stop trying to show people his onion. And Mr. M. Wilcox had to go and ask the man politely, please stop showing people your onion. Yeah, we're gonna go. Dave, thank you so much for coming in.

>> Dave: My pleasure. Appreciate you.

>> Darin: Jason, thank you so much for coming in.

>> Mike: Yeah, absolutely.

>> Darin: And, if anybody else would like to become a patron, you absolutely can. You can go to irritable dad syndrome dot com.

>> Mike: And you too can wait 250 episodes before they ask you on.

>> Dave: Four and.


Jason Durbin hosts Irritable Dad Syndrome on Patreon

>> Mike: A half years to Go.

>> Darin: That's. That's a nice little dig there, Jason.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But, yeah, thank you so much for listening, and we hope to see you next week on Irritable Dad Syndrome.

>> Dave: Irritable dad Syndrome is a Rankin bass production copyright 1977.

>> Mike: I'm going to thank our Patreons rounds, this being our 250th.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Jamboree.

>> Darin: Jamboree. Yeah.

>> Mike: We're going in order of money spent. Not necessarily important.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Chris Calloway.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: He's in the penultimate level. Chris Hughes, also known as, Chris Huggies. Chris Michael.

>> Darin: The Three Chris.

>> Mike: Yes. Jason Durbin, who is visiting us in the studio today.

>> Darin: Hi, Jason.

>> Mike: Chad Bennett, which is the one patron we don't know. Never met him. Awesome.

>> Darin: Never met him. Never talked to him. Yeah.

>> Mike: Ed Jones, which is your buddy.

>> Darin: Yeah, Ed Jones. I go way back to my WJL days in Ch City.

>> Mike: Greg Botus y Lisa Ferguson.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: she had to join because we made it a rule that Chris is not allowed to share. Right.

>> Darin: His. His patron, premium content with her. Yes.

>> Mike: Because that is, and I quote, illegal. And then. Amy. Amy Octung.

>> Darin: Amy Octon.

>> Mike: Yes, Octon. There are podcasts out there where people just, like, record on their phone and they talk about their duck or whatever. But we. We offer.

>> Darin: I love my duck. That's a great podcast.

>> Mike: We offer a premium product, these tortillas.

>> Darin: They have their own Instagram page. And we're like, imagining who follows tortillas on Instagram.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And that goes nowhere. This has great idea written all over it.

>> Mike: The point.

>> Darin: The point is.

>> Mike: I don't know what the point is.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome. Yeah, we're on with your church group.

>> Darin: Hi.

>> Mike: How the hell did I end up here?

>> Darin: I don't know.

>> Mike: I had nothing to do for six months. I had my car rack. I broke my leg.

>> Darin: You listened to us while you were recuperating? Yeah. Wow.

>> Mike: It's probably why I'm depressed.

>> Darin: One of the weirdest things that ever happened to Windows. Oh, my God.

>> Mike: The people that are free on Patreon. What? What are you doing?

>> Darin: What do you mean they're free?

>> Mike: They're free members.

>> Darin: How do we have free members on Patreon?

>> Mike: They don't get anything. All they get is a notification when we post something.

>> Darin: I didn't know we had any free members.

>> Mike: Your son is a free member. Jacob is a free member.

>> Darin: Didn't tell me that.

>> Mike: I just assumed that you talk to your family.

>> Darin: He doesn't. He does. He never told me that. I talk to him every day. He doesn't even listen to this show, as far as I know.