IDS #231 - Slurpin' or Burpin'

Wow, what a week we've had! 😂

- Mike's dog still thinks Darin is a chew toy, and Mike blames Darin for it!
- Chick-Fil-A mixed up Darin’s name once again.
- We proved our sports knowledge is non-existent after catching college football games.
- Everyone's chuckling about the IHOP on Cox Road!
- Darin got pulled over driving his mom's van.
- Fun fact: Alligators and Crocodiles are still the same animal.
- Darin experienced a mix-up at a friend's funeral.

Thanks for tuning in! We're so glad to have you with us. 😊

Stay awesome, everyone! 🎉 #ComedyPodcast #DogLife #HolidayVibes

Chapters

• 3:21 Mike's dog loses her mind when Darin (specifically) comes over
• 12:13 There is a guy on the Internet who lets out fake farts
• 16:08 Now that the election's over - how's your Facebook friends list going?
• 23:33 The Ohio State vs. Purdue Game
• 30:11 I hid Reese's Big Cup from everyone this weekend
• 34:30 Everybody loves to say IHOP on Cox
• 41:23 Johnny Law pulled me over on Sunday for having expired plates
• 50:05 Darin went to a funeral on the wrong day
• 57:49 People say if you don't rake leaves, they just become part of soil

Transcript

Is she like this when Andrew's friends come over? No. No. They don't. Well, maybe a little

>> Mike: Most of the time. 99.9% of the time, they're the sweetest, most lovable dogs you would ever know.

>> Darin: And then I come over.

>> Mike: Yeah. And then it's, it's all hell right now.

>> Darin: Is she like this when Andrew's friends come over?

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: No. Well, maybe a little.

>> Darin: I wonder if it's.

>> Mike: They don't. They don't. Yeah, she does. She does.

>> Darin: I wonder if it's the goatee. I wonder if it's the glasses. I, wonder if it's the hat.

>> Mike: I think they sense weakness. I think that's what it is.

>> Darin: Okay. In the morning, you're clear eyed, focused. That's why you never hit on anyone in the morning. You gotta wait till late at night when you're confused and tired. They gotta lay down somewhere. Might as well be with you.


Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast

>> Dave: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome. Win with a sticker and stick with a winner. Here are your hosts, Mike and Darren.

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I am, Michael.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast. This is episode 231.

>> Mike: Yes. if you are hearing us for the first time, welcome, welcome. Go to our website, irritabledadsyndrome.com it's a good website. All of our episodes, there's pictures.

>> Darin: Hm.

>> Mike: There's video, there's the. You can audio, get all signed up on the email list and you get wonderful little email emails.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Did you know that each of our episodes comes with a nice packaged little graphic little. I know that our art department works tirelessly.

>> Darin: Who heads up that? Art?

>> Mike: Johnson. He's Johnson.

>> Darin: He in the east wing doing a bang up job.

>> Mike: Yeah. So, go to our website, sign up for the email list, follow us on all the social medias and stuff.

>> Darin: And Christmas is coming up.

>> Mike: It is.

>> Darin: Go to our shop, it's our merch section. There's, T shirts, coffee mugs, all kinds of stuff. Perfect for the man, woman thing in your life.

>> Mike: And we don't do like most other better podcasts do and stop recording and posting through the holidays. We continue the march all the way through. So if your other podcasts say, we're gonna take a month break.

>> Darin: Not us, screw them.

>> Mike: No, we go for it.

>> Darin: We do.

>> Mike: Some of our best stuff is in those nook and cranny months, as I like to call them.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, check us out@irritabledadsyndrome.com and thank you for joining us tonight.


Jonathan Law: I'm thinking about putting up Christmas decorations a week early

Tonight on the show, I've mentioned many, many times that my name has been screwed up. I've got another instance where my name has been deliciously screwed up. And, I got in a little bit of trouble almost with Johnny Law. Oh, yeah?

>> Mike: Yeah. Jonathan Law.

>> Darin: The police.

>> Mike: Yeah. The popo pulled me over.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: 5O mobile.

>> Darin: I don't know what that means. Yeah.

>> Mike: How you doing?

>> Darin: I'm doing good.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I am doing good. It's, middle, of November. I've got some vacation coming up. I'm looking forward to that. I'm thinking about, possibly putting up the Christmas decorations like a week earlier than I usually do.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And the reason I'm thinking about doing that is so usually I do it the day after Thanksgiving. I think I'm going to do it the week before so that the day after Thanksgiving I can just sit on my butt and get fat.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Watch tv and I'm looking forward to that.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah.


Your dog loses her mind when you come over, Darren

>> Mike: So what is this? This episode? 231. When did we start doing it exclusively here? Was it 4 or 50?

>> Darin: No, no, no. It was in the. I thought it was in the 20s.

>> Mike: In the 20s?

>> Darin: Yeah. 26 or 27.

>> Mike: So that means we probably had. Would you say we've had at least 200 episodes here?

>> Mike: Meaning you've been here.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: 200 weeks.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And that dog, your dog still loses her mind every time she come over.

>> Darin: She loses her mind.

>> Mike: Marbles just looks at you like, there he is again.

>> Darin: Yeah, Marbles likes me.

>> Mike: And she's. Booba is going at it like, I don't know, like we talked about Will Smith zapped her with the Men in Black, womper. And now she can't. She can't remember that you're here.

>> Darin: The Whomper.

>> Mike: The Whomper. That's a technical term.

>> Darin: I know. Your dog loses her mind when I come over. And I like your dog very much. I would bend over and pet the dog and give her a belly rub and, scratch her behind the ears and say, who's a big sweetie? You are.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: She won't let me.

>> Mike: I'm so codependent to her weirdness and bipolarism that I begin to blame you. What did I do tonight? Tonight I stopped myself before I chastise you because it's not fair, Darren.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You're the victim in these situations.

>> Darin: I am.

>> Mike: It's not fair.

>> Darin: I'm the one with the scars. I have physical and emotional scars from your dog.

>> Mike: If I may, can I run down sue you? You could. Can I run down the list of things I've almost attacked you for when you first walk in.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: All right, sure.

>> Darin: Number five. Oh, this is a top five list.

>> Mike: They're. Just walk in the house. Quit standing out there. Just walk in.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Walk in. I'm. I'm not defending these. I'm telling you the raw. What. What happens?

>> Darin: So you want me as soon as that door cracks open just a shoulder and then run in?

>> Mike: Well, I mean, there's a. There's somewhere in between the two.

>> Darin: Well, I mean, it's not like I'm standing there minutes, maybe seconds before I wait till the door. I'm a big guy. I wait till the door is completely open before I walk in.

>> Mike: There's no need to defend yourself on any of these. I'm telling you up front, these are irrational.

>> Darin: You're being irrational.

>> Mike: I'm being irrational. There's.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: I'm being codependent to m. Her bipolarism.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: I am trying to control the environment around her to pacify her. An irrational being that she is.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: It's a futile effort. You know the Borg. It's futile.

>> Darin: Right.


Darren: Quit looking her in the eye. Quit looking at her tail

Resistance is futile.

>> Mike: Resistance is futile, not futile. Yeah.

>> Darin: Nerd number four.

>> Mike: Quit looking her in the eye. Just quit looking her in the eye.

>> Darin: What am I supposed to look at? Look at her tail.

>> Mike: It's unnatural, for me to tell you to do that because you have this beast.

>> Darin: She's a beast. Uh-huh.

>> Mike: And she's barking and acting a damn fool. Literally a damn fool is how she's acting. Where else are you going to look? Going to look to where the threat is.

>> Darin: I will start looking at her ankles.

>> Mike: Darren, millions of years of evolution have taught you.

>> Mike: To look towards the beast that is growling and snapping and that's where your attention should be.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: So I'm not blaming you.

>> Darin: Okay. But you're telling me what to do.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. What's number three? Number three.

>> Mike: Can you stop pushing her back down?

>> Darin: What am I supposed to do?

>> Mike: Okay, you're playing her again. Irrational. But the part of my brain says maybe she enjoys the fight. She may be a masochist for all we know.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: She could be one of the. You know, there's people that when they go out with their friends. Mm. They try to start fights, they get a couple in them.

>> Darin: That's you. Yeah, that is you.

>> Mike: They get a couple in them.

>> Darin: Let's.

>> Mike: Let's go start a fight. No, I'm talking about at a bar. Not like. Yeah, you're like a punching bag. This is like going out and getting fresh meat. Right. If you and I went out to the Dingleberries or Dinglehouse, as it. As it were.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And I got a couple in me. Say, a whiskey sour.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And I started looking at the bro down at the end of the bar there. And I just don't like the way his eyebrows arch. I may go over there and say, what do you. What are you looking at there? What are you. What are you doing? What do you want to start a fight And I don't want to do that.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah. Irrational.

>> Darin: Right. You know, that's a self defense mechanism. Can I.

>> Mike: You may.

>> Darin: In reference to. In reference to number. Article 3.

>> Mike: Article 3.

>> Darin: Can you remove her nails?

>> Mike: Can I. Not in charge. I'm not in charge of her nails.

>> Darin: Can you remove her sharp ass nails?

>> Mike: I direct you to the woman in the house who takes her to get her nails trimmed.

>> Darin: What? Because I don't like getting scratched every week.

>> Mike: Yeah. You have a scar.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: From being scratched by her.

>> Darin: It bleeded. Number two. Can I stop bleeding?

>> Mike: Yeah. Can you quit talking about the scar?

>> Darin: For the record, you brought up.

>> Mike: I did. I brought it up. The door. I brought it up.


If you had not rung the doorbell, you would not be here tonight

Okay. I brought it up.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Number one, why you ringing the doorbell? You know that gets them jacked up. Okay, now that's again, irrational. And I'll tell you why. Tonight, if you had not rung the doorbell, you would not be here now recording this episode. Because I was down here setting up the system here, getting everything ready to go. You had to ring the doorbell.

>> Darin: I did.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: As soon as I heard it, I want to walk down this road of depravity with me. as soon as I heard the doorbell ring, I knew, A, you're here, and B, the dogs are losing their mind. Now, it's not your fault the dogs are losing their mind. It's their fault for being irrational morons. However, I blame you, and that's not right.


It's not your job to pacify Booba by changing her behavior

>> Darin: Okay, so the last. Remember when we all went to Ann and Dave Wiseman's house?

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: And I knew that their dogs lose their mind when I knock or ring. So, I opened the door and pop my head in and said, hey, we're here. Is that fine? And Ann was just like, so she was flattered that we were comfortable enough to just walk into their house.

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Darin: So she was like, oh, my God, you guys are walk in friends. You felt comfortable enough to walk into the house.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I was like, well, yeah. I mean, we've known you for years now.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I don't walk into the house. Because one, I'm afraid your dogs might get out.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I don't know if you guys.

>> Mike: Might be in the various stages of undress.

>> Darin: Various. Absolutely.

>> Mike: Yeah. Right in the living room.

>> Darin: But are you okay if I just walk in? I will walk in.

>> Mike: Yeah, I think I am.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: I think I am. But I don't know. I don't know. Because if the dogs attack you when you walk in, then number one is going to be replaced with, can you ring the doorbell?

>> Darin: Well, okay.

>> Mike: I've even thought about setting up a system where you call or text from the driveway.

>> Darin: I will do that. I will text from the driveway. No, no, because then you're going to be mad because you don't like receiving texts. Because you don't answer my texts.

>> Mike: They cost minutes. The point is, it's not right, Darren. It's not right if you have a problem in your family.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: You need to deal with that problem and not attack everyone around that that problem impacts. You are impacted by this problem. You are an unwilling participant in Booba's mental anguish. It's not your job to pacify her by changing your behavior.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Because then you're encouraging her behavior. You're in effect promoting and encouraging her behavior.

>> Darin: Okay?

>> Mike: Which is making her worse.

>> Darin: Okay?

>> Mike: So I don't want you to change a damn thing.

>> Darin: Okay?

>> Mike: But. But I will continue to have those five phrases just go through my head every time.

>> Darin: You don't change anything. But stop pushing her down. No, look directly in her in the eye.

>> Mike: Maybe that one. Maybe don't look her in the eye.

>> Darin: You could.

>> Mike: Could possibly sunglasses on her.

>> Darin: Put Dakota in another room when I got here.

>> Mike: She won't go in another room. And I know you're thinking, mike, she's a dog.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: She's a medium sized, light brown idiot dog. Why can't you forcibly take her to another room?

>> Darin: Right?

>> Mike: We're scared of her. That's why we're scared of her. She does what she wants. And we're damn near 50 over here. We're not going to try to cajole. Cajole. Cajole.

>> Darin: C A G. Cajole.

>> Mike: K A J O L. Cajole.

>> Darin: Whoa.

>> Mike: We're not going to cajole this dog. We're just going to let nature take its course.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. So basically, status quo.

>> Mike: Status quo.

>> Darin: Status quo.

>> Dave: You're listening to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

>> Mike: What in the hell kind of sales approach is that? You boys couldn't sell a dollar for 50 cents.


There is a guy on the Internet who lets out fake farts

>> Darin: Hey, time for a few fart jokes. I'm positive that I was the victim of a fart prank. There is a guy on the Internet and it's just endlessly entertaining. My buddy Mark and I were watching these videos where he's in a crowded park or something. He walks past, usually a group of ladies, and lets one rip. And there are these fake farts. And he goes, oh, okay, okay. I'm not gonna make it in time. He starts running like, oh, okay, I gotta hurry, gotta hurry, you know? And the looks on these women, it's hysterical. And these farts are not natural farts. I mean, my God. And it's endlessly entertaining. So the other night I was, I was out and I'm walking into a store. This guy and his buddy are walking out and.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I'm thinking, that's not a real fart. And I just kept kind of walking and I did glance around and they've got this, they got this big eating grin on their face like, we got him. And I thought, hilarious. But yeah, I'm, I'm wondering if I'm on Candid Camera. I wonder if somebody recorded me. If I'm currently on the Internet being pranked by somebody fake farting. And I hope I am. If I am on the Internet, send a check to my home address. Thank you. Talk tonight.

>> Mike: Have you seen the guy that maintains, eye contact during the fart with people? Oh, that's my all time favorite guy. He will. It's, they're always long, squishy farts. Like he'll stare right at him the whole time.

>> Darin: Nice.

>> Mike: It's awesome.

>> Darin: Nice. Yeah. so somebody else screwed up my name. Okay, I've mentioned it I don't know how many times. We could do an entire episode of this podcast, I think, on stories of people screwing up my name. Yeah, I've been called Darfin Derry. Darn. the list goes on and on. We went to the UC football game and there's a chick fil A. And, I went and I ordered food for Libby and I. And you had to do the. I don't understand why you have to order at the kiosk when you could normally in any other situation, order at the desk at the counter. But you had to order at the kiosk. And then they call your name and the woman says, darn. Darn.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yep, my name is Darn.

>> Mike: Darn.

>> Darin: Darn.

>> Mike: Darn.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And so I was like, that's going on. It's d. A R I N. Yeah, either. It's a vision problem. I really didn't think that my name was this uncommon that people would have this much problem with it.

>> Mike: Yeah, it's just been going on for a while.

>> Darin: I'm 54.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So for like five decades now, people have screwed up my name.

>> Mike: If I live longer than you.

>> Darin: Mm,

>> Mike: I will make sure that I will have your tombstone misspell your name.

>> Darin: Oh, well, I'm gonna be cremated. Well, so you'll have to get my, urn.

>> Mike: Dixie cup. I'll cross it out with the magic marker.

>> Darin: Please put my ashes in a Dixie cup.


This portion of Irritable dad syndrome is brought to you by Whompers foot Long hot dogs

>> Dave: This portion of Irritable dad syndrome is brought to you by Whompers all be foot Long hot Dogs. Hey, it's your old buddy Dave and I'm telling you right now, there are no better hot dogs out there than Whompers. Whompers are packed full of flavor with no fillers and no preservatives. They're perfect for every party, unless you're a vegan. Anywho, get a ruler and measure it yourself. If your hot dog isn't one foot long, they'll refund your money, guaranteed. Oh, and speaking of money, you can now show how much you love Whompers by purchasing items from their new line of merchandise. Go to irritabledadsyndrome.com and see all the cool stuff they have. And buy something for that special someone in your life. Back to you, Buck and Dusty.


How's your Facebook friend list going? Have you come close to unfriending

>> Mike: I want to talk about Facebook a little bit. That's one of our biggest communities is on Facebook.

>> Darin: Well, that's primary. Yeah.

>> Mike: Primary community. How's your Facebook friend list going? Have you come close to unfriending?

>> Darin: I haven't unfriended anybody.

>> Mike: Yeah, I haven't either, but I've come really close. I don't know if you know about this, but there was a political event.

>> Darin: There was happened. There was.

>> Mike: And some people have lost they damn minds.

>> Mike: I've come to the conclusion I don't want to unfriend because then I can't see what's going on with them. They may change their mind. There's a little masochistic part of me that says I want to. I want to hear what they have to say when things go crazy. If they do.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: But I want a button that says, and I'm just here to watch you m. just be.

>> Darin: None of my friends have gloated. Yeah, at me, you know, because I'm a Steeler fan. And anytime the Steelers lose. Well, I used to hear A lot about that. People would, hey, you gonna take that profile picture down? They lost the Super Bowl. No, no, no. They went to the Super Bowl. This was the year that they went to the super bowl against the packers and the packers beat them. And so immediately after the Steelers got beat, my buddy sends me this thing, hey, you should take down your profile picture because it was me in a Steeler jersey and I'm like, no, I'm not going to take down my profile picture because the Steelers lost a game.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Albeit the Super Bowl.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But yeah, usually when my Steelers do horrible. I hear, a lot of crap from that. But yeah, I haven't heard any gloating from my friend group over the election.

>> Mike: Yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's good. I have, I don't think Bess has either, but I have a very diverse friend group. So I have people all over the place. I've had a few unfollows. I just had to. Because there's some people that just filling up the feed. It's like, here we are. What is this Tuesday? The Tuesday after this is seven days later.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: It's like, can you calm down? Can you stop for a bit? Yeah, just let it, let it rest.

>> Darin: It does get old. And you know what? I've grown tired of people who, are on the same page that I am.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: It's like, let it go.

>> Mike: Yeah.


When you talk about politics, it gets old. Yeah, it does get old

>> Darin: My God, talk about something else.

>> Mike: Because now, you know, now there's conspiracy theories on that side coming around and it's like, oh my God, have you, did you. Does anybody know there's a new Transformers movie out? I want to see the new Transformers movie.

>> Darin: David Gilmore has a new album.

>> Mike: David Gilmore has a new album.

>> Darin: Talk about that.

>> Mike: AC DC is going on tour next year. They're about to. About to announce the dates. That's about to happen.

>> Darin: Yeah, let's talk about something else. Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah, it does get old.

>> Darin: Yeah, it really, really gets old.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Because the deal is when you talk about the politics, either, you know, either you're yelling at a wall, you're not going to convince a wall to stop being a wall, or you're preaching to the choir.

>> Darin: So none of my friends are on the fence. All my friends are, one way or another. And they're exactly set in their ways. Like any of my friends could spend an hour, two hours trying to convince me about a, topic I like what I like.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I'm not going to be swayed. And I wouldn't expect them to be swayed So I don't have those discussions with said friends.

>> Mike: I'm interested with our viewers. Listeners.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: If you have ever swayed someone's political opinion like they were dead set one way and then you say, you know, under X's administration, the price of. And blanket who's it, what's it did Blankety blank Did blank. And it didn't under wise administration. Maybe you should vote for why. And then they say, ha.

>> Mike: yeah, I hadn't thought of it that way.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: I'm going to vote for why.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: If that's ever happened to you, let us, let us put you on the show because I want to hear about it.

>> Darin: You know, once somebody starts insulting me personally, then okay, yeah, I'm done. I'm done. And then I'm not, you know, because someone who's going to insult me personally, they're not a friend.

>> Mike: Yeah, right. Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah.


M. M. shares his Kroger story of the week

>> Dave: It's time now for the Kroger story of the week.

>> Darin: I went into Kroger the other day, saw a great sign.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: It said, now hiring for meat.

>> Mike: So meat. Meat can get employed.

>> Darin: And I thought I'd rather, you know, get paid money. Are you going to pay me a baloney? I made four pork chops this week.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Dave: this has been the Kroger story of the week.

>> Mike: So we went to a OSU game for.

>> Darin: Oh man. The Ohio State University.

>> Mike: The Ohio State University. M. Them's pricey. We took the whole family, the whole gaggle and we saw them play Purdue.

>> Darin: The Boilermakers.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So, you know, I was born in Lafayette, Indiana.

>> Mike: Were you? Yeah.

>> Darin: My grandparents always wanted me to go to Purdue.

>> Mike: The seats were way, way, way up on the osu.

>> Darin: On the up of the.

>> Mike: The Sherpa got us up to about. Within about 10 rows and then we had to make it the rest of the way.

>> Darin: Did you have to stop in the middle and adjust to the altitude?

>> Mike: We did before we did for a bit. And there you camped a number of bodies along the way.

>> Darin: You just walked right over. People walk because if you die, then they just, they're not going to get them off. You have to step over them.

>> Mike: They're landmarks too. They're brightly colored, you know, all wearing the red. But we watched the game and it was a absolute slaughter. So this may come as a surprise to you, but I don't know anything about sports really. And when we told Andrew. Ah. And Charlie that they were playing Purdue, they were grateful. They were excited about their tickets. And then they pointed out that Purdue Is like one of the worst teams in the history of mankind.

>> Darin: It didn't used to be that way. They used to be fairly competitive.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Going into the fourth quarter. It was 45 to 0.

>> Darin: Hey, what happened? The last time I saw a score that high was when the Wookies took on the Smurfs.

>> Mike: So they got within 20 to 25 yards of the goal one time and they kicked a field goal through the. It missed.

>> Darin: Oh, Purdue kicked and it.

>> Mike: Purdue kick kicked and it missed. It was like 20, 25 yards.

>> Darin: Okay. So they had a shot of bringing it from 45 nothing to 45 three.

>> Mike: Yes. Okay. And then once more they had that opportunity. They got to the five yard line.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: And they kicked. So our vantage point was right. We were practically in the end zone on the side, so we couldn't see if it was going through. M. The H is through the big H. Yeah. We could just see like the line of the pole. We saw the kick go and we saw all the OSU student section in the band lost their minds. And Charlie looked up at me and said they missed. Like, like it was like, is that allowed?

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: And Andrew, Andrew looked over.

>> Darin: Are they allowed to miss?

>> Mike: He's. Oh. And I was like, you know, I'm not a football guy. M. But I think five yards away, I think I could kick. I think I could get it through there.

>> Darin: I do too. I do.

>> Mike: I really don't know how.

>> Darin: I've never kicked, ball. I don't think. Yeah, well, I've kickball.

>> Mike: I have kickball.

>> Darin: But I'm pretty sure I could do five yards.

>> Mike: It's got. Yeah, it should be better for kicking. It's got foot right in the name. It should be relatively easy now if it were a 30 yard field goal, 20 even. 10, 7.

>> Darin: No, 6. Yeah.

>> Mike: 6. No, 5.


Ohio State beat Purdue 42 to nothing in a college football game on Saturday

Yeah. I'm a. I think physics decrees it should go through.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: So. No, it was like I said, we quit looking at the score. I think they, I think, OSU scored another touchdown. Oh. Ah. And they caught a punt. And I don't mean that the punt went down the field and the guy that was supposed to receive it caught it. I meant one of the linesmen. Jumped up and caught the punt.

>> Darin: Wow.

>> Mike: And started. Started running it. Yeah.

>> Darin: And you know, you say that you don't know anything about football. I don't know what caught the punt means, so. But I'm like, he caught the punt, he caught the punt, he caught the punt.

>> Mike: So you know, you know, when they have the line, and it's like, okay, I guess they have to be out there for show. They're not. They're going to punt down the field.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: And it's just. It's going to be another 30 yards away.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: And then they start their downs. No one expects the line right there to actually catch the punt.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: It doesn't seem physically possible they caught the punt, but they caught that punt.

>> Darin: Yeah. Was it near the line of scrimmage?

>> Mike: He was on the line of scrimmage, the line that they all line up on.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah.

>> Mike: So the dude literally kicked it three feet.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: Before it went into the hands of an OSU player.

>> Darin: Oh, wow.

>> Mike: And I'm surprised that that player started running. I was surprised he didn't just, like, look around. Go. Can you freaking believe this? That's it, man. Game over, man.

>> Darin: It's game over.

>> Mike: It's the most amazing game. I mean, from the standpoint of points.

>> Darin: It was boring as hell, I was about to say.

>> Mike: But the feats of, mediocrity.

>> Darin: Yeah. Of poorness.

>> Mike: Of poorness were amazing.

>> Darin: No, because it's like.

>> Mike: It was like watching. You ever seen the Globetrotters? They play the Washington Generals. The Generals did better than Purdue. They did. They literally did.

>> Darin: I always thought it would be funny if before the show, the Generals gathered up and just said, you know what?

>> Mike: Let's kick this.

>> Darin: We, I'm tired of them making a big joke, and I know they get paid, but it would be hilarious if they just decided, we are going, and then the. The Globe Cards would be like, what's going on here? My question is, what the hell, guys? And then they had to, like, fight, and then actually it turns into a game.

>> Mike: That would be awesome.

>> Darin: That would be hilarious.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: No, was, it last year or the year before, we went to a Lakota west, football game, and it was like that. I think the final score was, like, 42 to nothing. and it was just like, okay, just let him. The band were almost had to be taken out on stretchers from playing the fight song so many times. Even their band director posted on Facebook, this is the most we played the fight song in one game. They broke the record.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: And it just. It got so boring after a while. They let the clock run. Yeah, you let the clock run out. But I remember there was one point where the coach from the opposing team called a timeout. What? Why are you calling a timeout? Yeah, I mean, maybe he wanted time to switch out players or. So that Everybody could, you know, touch the grass.

>> Mike: I don't know.

>> Darin: The fourth quarter, after so long, it's just. This is a bore. I like a game that's. That's neck and neck.

>> Mike: It's close. Yeah. And in the fourth quarter, OSU took their whole team off and put on the backup team.


UC Bearcat played the West Virginia Mountaineers, your hometown

I'm serious.

>> Darin: They put on the Generals.

>> Mike: They put on the Generals. I think the mascot was out there. I think he was the quarterback.

>> Darin: The band.

>> Mike: Yeah, and the band. The guy that sold me the pretzel, he was out there, didn't even take.

>> Darin: Off his, uniform. He's just out there with his flute.

>> Mike: But that was a day, man. I mean, we got up, we left at 9 00am and we didn't get back until about 6:30pm well, yeah, while.

>> Darin: You were there, we were at the uc, Bearcats game. UC Bearcat played the West Virginia Mountaineers, your hometown. And, West Virginia of, They were ahead 24 to 3 most of the game. And by, I think it was the third quarter, one, of our guys on UC scored this miraculous, like, 80. He ran for 70 or 80 yards and scored a touchdown. And then that's what lit the fire under the asses of all the other players. And they, started, playing a little bit better. They rallied, yes, they rallied around the family with a m. Pocket full of shells. Three or four minutes later, don't correct me on the time because, whatever. They scored another touchdown. This touchdown was pretty badass because the quarterback, I don't know his name. We'll call him Joe. Joe Quarterback.

>> Mike: Joe Quarterback.

>> Darin: He didn't have anybody open, so he ran and got a first down. Okay. And then they, started again. Whatever.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: They go back into play, he again can't find anybody open. He runs and gets another down.

>> Mike: Ok?

>> Darin: Then this guy miraculously ran through God knows how many people, spun, landed on his back in the end zone, scored a touchdown. M brought it to 21.

>> Mike: Holy crap.

>> Darin: Everybody's losing their mind because this is a game now. Yeah, it's in the fourth quarter. We got four minutes left. We're only down by three. Okay, we can do this. And then they, ended up not doing it. Yeah, they were. Dude is trying to throw the ball to. He was trying to catch, trying to get to a receiver. Yeah, yeah. And, he got hit and then threw the ball midair. And, Well, that's where the ball goes usually.

>> Mike: If you throw it.

>> Darin: Well, the ball went crazy. And then West Virginia, they, When they catch the Ball. It's an interception. And then, they ran it in for a touchdown of them. And it was ahead 31, 21. And then it was over. So with. Yeah, we were sad.

>> Mike: We.

>> Darin: With tears in our eyes, we left. But we got to see Jacob playing the band. They did. The band did Dream on by Aerosmith.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Holy crap. You see Bearcat Marching band doing Dream On. I had chills. It was, brought tears my eyes. It was amazing. They sounded great.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So, I mean, the reason we went to the game was to see Jacob and the band.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: The football game was icing on the cake, so. But we didn't ain't got no icing this week.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Dave: You're listening to Irritable Dead Syndrome now with more sound effects.

>> Mike: I went on a peep rampage this past weekend.

>> Darin: Oh, okay.

>> Mike: We're down to two boxes of peeps.

>> Darin: Okay. What flavor?

>> Mike: All of them. Oh, the two that are left. Strawberry. I don't. You can have the straw. Do you want the strawberry?

>> Darin: I don't want the whole box. But I was. If you had one open, I would take one.

>> Mike: No.


Michael: I hid Reese's Big Cup from everyone this weekend

>> Darin: but you open them and let them get stale. You still do that.

>> Mike: I was. I was eating them right when they came out this weekend. I was having some issues.

>> Darin: Yeah. I was going to say if you had any open, I would take one off of you, but I don't want a box.

>> Mike: I don't want a whole box.

>> Darin: I don't. I absolutely do not.

>> Mike: I also bought some peanut, butter. The Reese's Big Cup. Yeah. And I got in trouble.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Because I'm not supposed to buy the Reese's Big Cup.

>> Darin: Why?

>> Mike: Because it is too tempting for everyone in the house, including me.

>> Darin: And so I understand.

>> Mike: So what I did was I hid the Reese's Big cup, which I've done. And then I got in trouble for hiding the Reese's Big Cup. But I've kept it. I didn't get in trouble. I just. I was like, you hide them.

>> Darin: Do you hide them from the kids or do you hide them from Bess also?

>> Mike: Everyone, including Booba.

>> Darin: Okay. When I have to hide stuff from my wife, I just put it in the oven.

>> Mike: Oh, okay.

>> Darin: She never looks in there.

>> Mike: Okay. That's all right. yeah. Okay. We went back to the. Back to the 50s for that one. It's in keeping with the times.

>> Darin: You know Jason Durbin, don't you?

>> Mike: I do.

>> Darin: Okay. So last week, Jason Durbin sends a text out to some of us in the neighborhood that they were going to have a bonfire. So I went over to Jason's. Libby went with me, and we're sitting at Jason Durbin's house. We're having this bonfire. And your favorite person in the world, Chris Michael, came.

>> Mike: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And my good buddy Chris.

>> Darin: Yeah. The one who has a punchable face.

>> Darin: Yeah. The one who mooches off the system.

>> Mike: He does.

>> Darin: And we were talking about that at Jason's house and Jason started laughing because he was just happy that it. Because he's like, you know, I used to be the target of all my. Because you used to yell at Jason. Because he never charged or he never hired Cameron to pick up Dog Boo.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And we had this conversation that you need some help because. Yes, because we're like, we couldn't figure out why you were so against these, people in your life who do good for you.

>> Mike: Do good for me.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: I mean, they both are patrons of.

>> Mike: Oh, they're patrons of the podcast. Yes, yes. They do.

>> Darin: The podcast that helps you. It helps me.

>> Mike: If I may.

>> Darin: And they like you. They consider you a friend despite how poorly you treat them.

>> Mike: If I may.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Jason Durbin.

>> Mike: And Chris Michael. Or Michelle, the way.

>> Darin: It's Michael. It's Michael.

>> Mike: Michelle, Michael are two of the most wonderful people on this planet.

>> Darin: That's true.

>> Mike: I enjoy their company immensely.


Chris Michael and Jason Durbin wanted to do virtual reality. They were, but they couldn't get a sitter

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: But I was excited.

>> Darin: I sense a but coming.

>> Mike: I was excited.

>> Mike: Because we went out to dinner Sunday.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And I was told that Chris Michael was going to be there.

>> Darin: They were, but they couldn't get a sitter.

>> Mike: Likely story.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I was told he was going to be there. And I thought, what a fitting into my week of vacation is to go to this Ford place, Ford's garage, get liquored up. And punch kiss Michael dead in the face.

>> Darin: One beer.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: Which I guess pansy is enough for you to get all hammered. Yeah, yeah. I still.

>> Mike: We need to do the, virtual reality thing, the four of us. We talked about that. We just haven't done it yet.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah, you know, talking about. I know the zero latency thing down here. What, bruh?

>> Darin: Zero latency.

>> Mike: All right, let's talk about this.

>> Darin: What the hell is that?

>> Mike: It's a full room. And when I say room, I mean like the size of a gymnasium.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: VR. You put on the helmet, you get a gun.

>> Darin: Oh, we've been there with. There with the kids.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's awesome.

>> Darin: Yeah. I was on call, and so, I brought my Own car. And I watched the kids, and I was fascinated because you can see the monitors. You can see everything that they're doing through the monitors.

>> Mike: You weren't. You didn't do it.

>> Darin: I didn't do it. What the hell? I didn't want to, get all up in that and then have to leave. okay, so I didn't. I was like, you know, I really enjoyed watching the kids do it.

>> Mike: So they did have a far cry. And I know that Jason Durbin and I believe Chris Michael are both Far Cry fans, so we were going to do the far cry. I don't know if they still have it or not, but, we still need to do that.

>> Darin: I don't know.


Everybody loves to say IHOP on Cox. And so if I heard it once, I heard 20 times

Anywho, while we were at this bonfire, it turns out everybody knows this joke that Libby and I were not familiar with at all. In our neighborhood, in our town of Westchester, there is an International House.

>> Mike: Of Pancakes, IHOP as a kid's call.

>> Darin: And we didn't know that the street that the IHOP was on made it into a derogatory joke, because everybody loves to say IHOP on Cox.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: It's on Cox Road.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And so if I heard it once, I heard it 20 times. IHOP on Cox. There was lots of giggling.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Libby and I both, we're like, all this time, we thought IHOP was on Tylersville, but it's on Cox, So IHOP on Cox.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. Yeah. And they're like, hey, you ought to.

>> Mike: Mention that in your podcast. Okay.

>> Darin: It's like, I will.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: I'm fully intending not to, but here I am. Yeah. I hop on Cox.

>> Mike: I hop on Cox.

>> Darin: I hop on.

>> Mike: I hop on Cox.


Jacob did a report in his marketing class about irritable dad syndrome

>> Darin: I want to talk about my son, Jacob.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: My oldest son. I've mentioned him on this podcast before. My eldest, he did a report in his marketing class about irritable dad syndrome.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And did, a great job.

>> Mike: All right.

>> Darin: And so we're hoping that.

>> Mike: Can he help us out a little bit?

>> Darin: Well, you know what? That's his goal.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: He's hoping that he can do that. And his teacher said that if, if the report is good, his teacher may become a patron of this podcast.

>> Mike: Really?

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Really?

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: That's what the teacher said.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: So anyway, this morning, it's middle of November, and Jacob is, He still lives at home, and he was getting ready to go to shul. He's in our kitchen. He's got a T shirt and shorts on. And I said, jacob, you're going to want to put on some pants because it's going to be like 40 degrees outside. It's chilly outside. What does he do? Alexa, what's the temperature today? And Alexa says today's high is going to be 40 to like 45 degrees.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: And I'm like, you know what, Jacob? Last week your bank account was kind of low. Who put money in your bank account? Me and your mom. Right. When you're hungry. When you eat food.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Who gives you food? Me and your mother. Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Does Alexa pay for this house? The room m that you live in? No. No, I do. And your mom does.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: When you had your skateboard accident and you broke your wrist, did Alexa come and pick you up and take you to the emergency room?

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: No, dad did. Yeah, dad did.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: But yet, you know what? You just call Alexa anytime you want because Alexa is the only person you can trust. Have a great day and stay cool.

>> Mike: You know what's scary? Skynet's gonna happen, and it may not be that far away that something will come and pick him up.

>> Darin: Hey, buddy. I love you.

>> Mike: It's time for score.

>> Darin: You did this. You did this to yourself.

>> Mike: Oh, yeah. So we have Google, the Google nest. So it's. You say, hey, Google. Okay, Google.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: And having that in a family that. That calls their dogs Boobah is just. It's randomly. She'll start talking to us when we're talking to Booba. It's fun.

>> Darin: You ever have your Google or Alexa just out of nowhere.

>> Mike: Yeah. Ah.

>> Darin: Say something to you sometimes, like, I didn't. What are you talking about?

>> Mike: And she. She's. She's kind of a little. Because we use her to solve arguments immediately. Like squash arguments if we're sitting around dinner. It's like, who was in Lord. of the Rings? When I think, who was Gandalf? I think it was Dabney Coleman. It wasn't Dabney Coleman. I think it was Dabney Coleman. No, it wasn't him.

>> Darin: But.


Google constantly gives its sources, you know, Right. It's always going to give its sources

>> Mike: But hindsight, he would have been awesome.

>> Darin: Dabney Coleman would have killed it.

>> Mike: He would.

>> Darin: In Lord of the Rings.

>> Mike: So then it's like, okay, Google, who was Gandalf in Lord of the Rings? According to the website, blah, blah. It's always going to give its sources, you know, Right. It doesn't want to come off.

>> Darin: Like, according to an Alexa contributor.

>> Mike: Yeah. And it gives the answer. But it seems like when it's. When I'm right about something. I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you said.

>> Darin: Oh. Oh.

>> Mike: It will hear me mumbling about some in the corner of the room while I'm trying to hook something up from across the room. It'll hear me mumble and then tell me, you know the answer to that question, but when I'm clearly right next to it saying, was or was not Ian McKellen Gandalf in Lord of the Rings. I'm sorry, I didn't understand your question.

>> Darin: I know. Just when you need it the most.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have the animal kingdom cards when you were a kid. You know I'm talking about. No nature fun cards.

>> Darin: Animal kingdom cards. I'll trade you a lion for two zebras.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: Really?

>> Mike: It came like a big tray.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You collect them all? Like Pokemon?

>> Darin: No. Get like a. I did not.

>> Mike: Like a kangaroo. Picture of a kangaroo.

>> Darin: I have some Empire Strikes Back cards. Okay.

>> Mike: It's not that.

>> Darin: Yeah, well, I know these were big.

>> Mike: They were like that big.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: With animal facts, huh?

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And why did you have those?

>> Mike: I was a nerd kid, man. I was hear my voice cracked when I said that. I was a nerd.

>> Darin: Octopus has eight tentacles.

>> Mike: Exactly what it was.

>> Darin: It grows back, but it would have.

>> Mike: Them when it was. You could definitely tell it was geared towards a certain type of kid because it had the most badass pictures of these animals.

>> Darin: I'm certain that if I did have that, I would have been outraged because I bet you these animal cards furthered the lie that alligators and crocodiles are different animals. Where they're the same damn animal.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Alligators and grow up people. Alligators and crocodiles are the same animal. I'm going to tell you something right now. Big Zoo have been pushing this lie for decades now.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And it's. And you need to stop listening to the man. Alligators and crocodiles are not different animals. They're the same animal. I know. One has like a broader snout and one has a longer tail. And what? Mike and I have different sized snouts.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: We're both human men.

>> Mike: In theory.

>> Darin: They're the same animal.

>> Mike: What is it? A saltwater crocodile? Yeah, that's it.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Well, then that's what they all are.

>> Darin: They're the same.

>> Mike: That whatever. One can eat all the rest of them in one bite.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Wins same. That's the one.

>> Darin: Same thing.

>> Mike: Whatever.

>> Darin: They're the same animal.

>> Mike: Yeah. Seahorses are probably alligators that just got like.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Curled up, you know?

>> Darin: Seahorses.


The boy seahorse is one that has all the babies

The boy seahorse is one that has all the babies.

>> Mike: Yeah. Fun Fact.

>> Mike: Seahorses aren't horses.

>> Darin: No, they're not.

>> Mike: They have no legs. No, it's not like if they break their tail, you can't. Another horse fish comes by and shoots the seahorse.

>> Darin: You can't put a saddle on it.

>> Mike: You can't?

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Not legally. Or a horse.

>> Darin: Or a shoe horse.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: What?

>> Mike: A shoe horseshoe.

>> Darin: You can't shoe a seahorse.


Johnny Law pulled me over on Sunday for having expired plates

>> Dave: Irritable dad syndrome was brought to you by Diff Liquid Concentrated Wallpaper Stripper and listeners like you.

>> Darin: I mentioned at the beginning of the podcast that I got in trouble with Johnny Law. Yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: Five.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah, exactly. So it's Sunday morning. Popo, the popo pulled me over on Sunday. Mom comes to our house and she picks us up. There's five of us.

>> Mike: Go P. Coltrane.

>> Darin: Exactly. He and Enos. Okay. We're, in cahoots.

>> Mike: I'm done, by the way.

>> Darin: Don't you touch me, you. Oh, Flash. I love it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Smokey.

>> Darin: Smokey and the Bandit. mom comes to our house and she's got her red van and there's five of us, and we can all fit in Mom's van. So, she comes to get us, and then I drive us to church in Mom's van. Mom needed gas, so I pulled into the gas station and I loaded up, and then I pull out. And like, within a minute after I got out of the gas station, whoo. The lights comes on. Johnny Law is behind me, the man trying to bring me down. Yeah, I pulled over, like, couldn't figure out what was going on.

>> Mike: Oh, no, no. You got to hammer the gas.

>> Darin: Well, it's Sunday, and I've got the kids with me, and I'm trying to set a good example.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So I pull over. Now, years and years ago, I'm on the interstate, and, a police officer pulls up behind me.

>> Mike: Woo.

>> Darin: Lights go on. I pull over and he passes me.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I'm like, you had to do that right after I pooped my pants. That was not very nice. Yeah, I was thrilled that I didn't get pulled over. Anywho, this police officer comes up and a nice guy, nice as can possibly be a sheriff's deputy.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And he, how's. How are you doing this morning? I said, I'm good. And he says, did you realize that your plates are expired? And I was like, no. And he says, is this your car? I said, this is my mom's car. Where are you folks going? I said, to church. We're off to visit to Our dealer to talk to our Lord. Yeah. Mom had forgotten to renew her plates.

>> Mike: Did you throw her under the bus? Did you turn her in for good behavior?

>> Darin: I did not. But, I mean, he asked.

>> Mike: Strike a deal.

>> Darin: He asked, see my license. And I showed him my license, and I told him that this, you know, he has to see the registration. I said, this isn't my van. I'm driving my mom's. Yeah, this is my mom's car. And he asked her, you know, he says, you have to renew your plates. And I'll tell you what, this is going to sound horrible when I say this, but you would not believe how relieved I was when I found out that mom would be going to prison and not me. Because I'm like, we can visit Mom. We can, you know, get her a cake and put a file in it. We can buy her one of those, metal coffee cups so she can bang it across the bars, you know? Yeah, I think mom would make a lot of friends in prison.

>> Mike: Probably. Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: She's a nice lady.

>> Mike: Some people thrive in there. Yeah.

>> Darin: Orange is the new black. I mean, come m on. And by the way, her middle name is Louise. And I told her I was going to start calling her Wheezy because of the Jeffersons. That has nothing to do with the story. But, yeah, Wheezy would go to prison.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And we would, you know, the kids would visit her on the weekends.

>> Mike: Structure.

>> Darin: Ah.

>> Mike: They allow exercise. There's. There's bingo.

>> Darin: Two hots in the cut. Yeah. So who can argue with that logic?

>> Mike: Yeah, exactly.

>> Darin: The very, very nice sheriff's deputy told her that she could go online and she could renew her tags there.


Charlie's mom's car registration is expired, so she had to go down

That was not true because we tried and tried and tried. you put in her license plate, you put in the last four of the social. I'm not going to tell you what the last four over social are. you do that. And it says vehicle not found. And the reason it's not found is because they were expired.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: They don't show up online anymore. So she had to go down there. She went down there today, and, knock on wood, she took care of everything. Mom is not going to prison yet. So for that, not for this.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: So we're very happy that mom dodged that bullet.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Have you seen the new Transformers movie? Transformers 1?

>> Darin: No. It doesn't look good at all to me.

>> Mike: I'm the only human that wants to see that movie. I got excited. I showed the trailer to the whole family. And Bess, I think she.

>> Darin: Is that the Cartoon one.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: I think she thought it looked good just for the simple fact that it's not a movie about people murdering each other.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Which is like all that is seems to be out there. She's. She's in a family. I don't know if you know this, but I'm a dude. well, I mean, I don't know.

>> Darin: 100% fact.

>> Mike: And Charlie's a dude, so best kind of, you know. And then Marvel hit and Star wars came back right in the middle. So it's like. I'm sorry. Just, you know, this is, this is where we're at.

>> Darin: You know, Libby's the one in the family who got us all into Marvel.

>> Mike: Yeah, you said that. Yeah, yeah. So. Well, over time, Bess has gotten into.

>> Darin: Them and Libby's the one who got us into Lord of the Rings.

>> Mike: Really?

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: Does. Is she excited about. Isn't there a new movie coming out at the end of this year? The animated movie, right. Of the Rohirrim.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah. I.

>> Mike: And then go.

>> Darin: I don't know if she knows about that or not.

>> Mike: And then the first Gollum movie is coming out next year.

>> Darin: There's like Gollum Movie 2. There's two Golem movies.

>> Mike: They're bringing back the original cast, Aragorn, all of them. They're coming back for the Golem.

>> Darin: Really?

>> Mike: We haven't talked about this.

>> Darin: No. Yeah, I did not know.


Dave Lay: Lord of the Rings movies coming out next year

>> Mike: So, this. You remember. Okay. The fun thing about the Lord of the Rings books.

>> Darin: Oh.

>> Mike: Is that JRR Tolkien will spend 15 pages talking about a tree. Yep. You'll also notice when you read Fellowship of the Ring that Gandalf goes away a lot and does things and then comes back and they don't really.

>> Darin: He's got his book club. He's making a crazy quilt.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: He goes and he gets that stuff to make his beard, grow, thicker and shinier.

>> Mike: Yeah. They don't really go into it into the movie. It's just all of a sudden Gandalf's not there and then there he is.

>> Darin: Again and I think he's got a lady friend.

>> Mike: Yeah. So in the movie though, he's showing.

>> Darin: Her his wizard staff. Don't listen to daddy.

>> Mike: In the movie, Gandalf realizes this is the Ring or whatever. And he puts it in the envelope, gives it the Frodo, says, keep it secret, keep it safe. Right. You as the movie viewer, go ahead and touch it.

>> Darin: It's. It's quite cool.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah. You see Gandalf right off and I'll meet you at the end of the Prancing Pony or whatever.

>> Darin: Shadow. Shadow.

>> Mike: Shadow. Shadow.

>> Darin: Shadow. Facts.

>> Mike: Shadow facts, huh? Uh-huh. And, you know, well, apparently a whole adventure took place in that period. It was the Hunt for Gollum. That's what the movies are called. Part One and Part Two.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: it's being directed by Andy Serkis. Gollum.

>> Darin: Okay. Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah. And apparently it's bringing back Aragorn, Ian McKellen, Frodo. Ah, all of them. I don't know about Frodo. I think he's in it. But I think he's gonna be like.

>> Darin: Well, this is cool, because I saw something where Ian McKellen said he is very interested in playing Gandalf again, but you better hurry up, because he's only.

>> Mike: Like, Aragorn, as old as Gandalf was in Fellowship of the Ring. Now there's. There's pictures of him.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah.

>> Mike: I mean, he's an old dude.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: But you saw what they did with Kurt Russell, and, Yeah, they used J. Robert Mooney, who was Iron Man.

>> Darin: J. Robert mooney. Robert Downey Jr. Yeah, J. Robert Mooney.

>> Mike: They made J. Robert Mooney look just like he did in the 90s.

>> Darin: You're like David Letterman.

>> Mike: He was trying to talk about Jimmy.

>> Darin: Fallon and he called him Lonnie Donegan.

>> Mike: Was that who he was talking about at that thing?

>> Darin: Yeah, Lonnie Donegan.

>> Mike: So J. Edgar, Rumi and, Lonnie Donegan, they're going to be de. Aged. But, yeah, it's supposed to. I read that it's going to. First one's coming out next year, but usually these type of movies, they start advertising them months ago if it's coming out next year.

>> Darin: Did they start production?

>> Mike: They've been in the process. From my understanding, there's no way they're.

>> Darin: Coming out next year.

>> Mike: 25 and 26. They're doing the Christmas thing like they did with. All right, I'm going Lord of the Rings.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It might be 26, 27.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: With the election, it may be 31, 32, I don't know. But they're in. They're in progress.

>> Darin: Yeah, I'll go.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Dave: Hi, I'm Dave Lay.

>> Darin: Before we started this podcast, Mike and I were talking about things that are going on that gives you the impression that you're losing your mind.


A friend of mine passed away, and I went to his funeral

Okay. And I've got the doozy of the week here. a friend of mine passed away. His name is Kurt Good Guy. I used to work with him at wlwt we used to carpool together. Just a really, really nice guy. And, his funeral, I got the thing, saying when the funeral was, and I'm like, well, I'm gonna go to the funeral. By the way, if you work with me currently, don't listen to this part of the podcast. Just turn it off now. Thanks for listening. See you next week on Irritable Dad Syndrome. Okay, I think they're gone. Yeah, I took a day off work.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: Because the funeral, the visitation starts at 11 to 12. Then there's the funeral, and then there's a luncheon afterwards. And so I took the day off work because if a lot of my friends from Channel 5 are going to be there, and if they're staying for the luncheon, then I was going to hang out and talk to some people.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Darin: So I took a day off work. Right.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And, so I go to the funeral home, which is in Mason, and visitation, starts at 11. I get there about 15 minutes early. The parking lot is packed.

>> Mike: Hm.

>> Darin: And I'm thinking, damn, there's a lot of people here.

>> Mike: For Kurt. Yeah.

>> Darin: This is awesome. I don't recognize any of the cars and the people who are walking in and out of the funeral home, I don't recognize any of them. Which. Okay. Kurt has a lot of,

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: A lot of friends and family. And it's in the middle of the day, it's on a Monday, so there's probably, you know, a lot of, My coworkers aren't there yet. again, I'm there 15 minutes early for the visitation. A lot of people get out, and they start putting their flags on their car. The funeral flags.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And the hearse that sparked, it leaves.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: And then they start fall. All these cars start following this hearse. and I'm like, A, I really got here at the wrong time, or B, how disrespectful is it to have a funeral butt to butt with another funeral? Like, one leaves. Look, we need to go.

>> Mike: Is that what was happening? Okay.

>> Darin: All these people leave the funeral home, and now the parking lot is empty.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: And it's like 10 till 11.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: Okay. So I'm like, well, I'm gonna wait. I don't want to be the first guy that walks in. I was just gonna wait. And then, so it's like 11, 15, and I'm like, okay. So I walk into the funeral home. Nobody's in the funeral home.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And now I'm depressed. Because, God, Kurt had a lot of friends.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: This is. How dare you? I mean, it's like, I'm this early, and y'all are. And I'm still beating you. And I start getting upset. This woman comes up and she says, sir, can I help you? I said, yeah, I'm here for the visitation for Kurt Armstrong. And she goes, And she looks and she goes and looks at things. She says, that's next Monday. Next Monday.

>> Mike: Next Monday.

>> Darin: Next Monday.

>> Mike: Next Monday.

>> Darin: I was there a week early.

>> Mike: That's. Yeah.

>> Darin: I took a day off a week early. A week early.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: To go to a visitation.

>> Mike: I'm like, well, you should have just gone. Yeah. Too late to catch that other guy's funeral.

>> Darin: I had my jacket on.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I was. I shaved.

>> Mike: I mean, shaved my head.

>> Darin: I looked pretty sharp.

>> Mike: Yeah.


The funeral for a Channel 5 employee is scheduled for next week

>> Darin: Had dress shoes and nice socks.

>> Mike: I hate to be crass, but you already bought the popcorn. Why don't just go ahead and watch a movie? You know what I mean?

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Just go. Yeah, yeah. Ham it up at the. At his funeral.

>> Darin: So then I'm, like, thinking, well, should I go back to work? I've got the time. Okay. I was, You know, I had a comp day.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: So, I mean, I can use the comp day as I please. I wasn't lying.

>> Mike: Uh-huh. You know, you did go to a funeral.

>> Darin: I went to a funeral home.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: I did not get to end a funeral. So now I'm like, well, what am I going to do now? Because this funeral is next week.

>> Mike: It's going to be weird if you got to go to this funeral for the same guy. They usually don't. You know what I mean? You can be sick with the same thing. you can't go to the same guy's funeral twice.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So now, I mean, I don't have any more time.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: So now it's, like, on my lunch break, I'm gonna have to swing by there, and catch, like, some of the visitation.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And if any of my friends from Channel 5 are there, you know, the important thing is, is that I go and pay my respect to his family.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Right. That's the important thing.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah. Just these little details, like going to the right person's funeral.

>> Darin: Okay, well, listen, you know, usually, when somebody passes away, their funeral is within a week.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. Not almost two weeks.

>> Mike: Yeah. You don't put them in layaway or in the freezer. You know what I mean? Yeah.

>> Darin: We're going to have to postpone until 25. Right?

>> Mike: Yeah.


This week's Kroger story of the week involves toilet paper

>> Dave: It's time now for the Kroger story of the week.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah. So I was like, well, now what am I going to do with the rest of my day? I went to the grocery store. I was buying stuff that I forgot to buy the last time I was at the grocery store. Yeah. Because the last time I went to the grocery store, I get back and let me say. Did you get mayonnaise? No. No, I didn't.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: No. And then Jake or Cameron asked me, did you get oatmeal? Nope. Nope. Sure didn't. And we're almost out of milk, so I went to the Kroger and I bought some oatmeal. And then I got the mayonnaise.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And a, handful of other things. I get home and I realize that I still don't have fabric softener, laundry detergent, or dish soap.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So I had to go back to the store again.

>> Mike: Yeah, I did that yesterday with toilet paper. Get everything but toilet paper.

>> Darin: It's on sale now, by the way.

>> Mike: It's one of those things you need.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: You can't really. If you're in the. If you're in your house and you have no toilet paper and you've.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Your options become strikingly limited. You can do the.

>> Darin: Go in the yard, get the hose.

>> Mike: Yeah. You can do that. You can get the paper towels. Just don't put them in the toilet. Now you gotta have paper towels in the trash bin right now. You have to be the one that throws out that trash bin. You don't want to leave that for someone.

>> Darin: No, you don't.

>> Mike: You also don't want to have that there when you have dogs in the house. For us. And not saying this has ever happened. I'm just saying they're curious animals.

>> Darin: Dogs have been known to get things out of the trash.

>> Mike: They've been known to do that. Luckily, Booba just eats pencils. She doesn't eat. She doesn't eat poo poo rags.

>> Darin: Lead poisoning.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: The last time. This is another Kroger story of the week. The last time I was at Kroger, I had a bunch of stuff and it was all piling up. And the bad boy walks, over and takes a look at it. No. And goes over to the next register. and just waits on the next person.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: Just. He just.

>> Mike: You didn't have the right. Right.

>> Darin: I asked the cashier said, what, does he not want to bag my groceries? What did I do? He goes, it happens a Lot. This guy just sees an order. I don't want to do that.

>> Mike: Treating you like an Uber driver. Just pulled up, said, yeah, I'm not letting that guy in my car, and just drives away.

>> Darin: What was it something I said?

>> Mike: Yeah. What were you buying? Bunch of weird stuff.

>> Darin: No food.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. Nothing weird at all.

>> Dave: This has been the Kroger story of the week.

>> Darin: I raked a, ton of leaves, and I. I bagged them up. And every year on my Facebook page, I post a picture. Here's my annual falling leaves photo, and it's of bags of leaves out in front of my house. Yeah, that's hilarious.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. My God, people always have to comment on. On how they do. I don't recluse. I just mulch mine. Yeah, okay, good for you and your. And your mulcher.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah.


People say if you don't rake them, they just become part of soil

And then there's the people that said, well, you know what? If you don't rake them, they just become part of the soil. Well, if you've got a huge. I mean, a huge section of leaves that's really thick, it will kill the grass. It will leave a bare patch on your yard. We've got enough bare patches on our yard from the drought, so I rake mine. And on the side of the house, we've got a big tree. And if you don't rake those, those all go in my neighbor's yard. And I like my neighbor Gary. So I rake those and I bag them. And then I got someone else saying, hey, would it kill you to put those in paper bags? Yeah, like, I can't make anybody happy.

>> Mike: Who gives a right? Yeah.

>> Darin: Just like, if that's not how you rake your leaves, I don't care. Yeah, I'm not going to say, hey, how come you're mulching yours?

>> Mike: Yeah, we may rake our leaves this year. We haven't raked our yard ever. We may do it this year. We don't do it because, I mean, if one of our neighbors got upset and asked us, well, why aren't you raking leaves? M. Then I would be like, well, because I want to make sure that the leaves decompose, properly and properly mulch the aeration of the anaerobic respiration of the yard. It's important. Don't you care about the planet? The real reason is I don't want to go out there. It's cold, it's wet, we've got dogs. There's probably some poo in those leaves. I don't want to mess with that.

>> Darin: But the four of us tackled these yeah. So we've got the leaf in 8 or 3,000. You got the strap that goes over your shoulder. It hooks to the bag, and you suck them up. Okay. And then so instead of going all over the yard.

>> Mike: So you don't rake, you suck up the leaves.

>> Darin: Instead of going around the yard and sucking up one leaf at a time, we rake them into big piles. You can stand there and suck up one big pile.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Instead of walking over, trying to pick up one leaf at a time.

>> Mike: Where do you. Where do you get that thing?

>> Darin: The leaf in 8 or 3,000?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: At the Home Depot. The Home despot, or Lois.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: You can go to Lois and get it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So, we've got two rakes, and Jacob and Cameron are raking into piles. I've got a blower, and I'm, blowing leaves out of Gary's yard into our yard. And then Libby is using the leaf in 8 or 3,000.

>> Mike: Let me throw this.

>> Darin: Sucks them up, and then we are putting them in the bags. And then me and the boys are grabbing these bags and putting them in the front of our house. We got, like, 30 bags of leaves the first time and then an additional five or six the second. And I got three more after I went by the funeral home.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So I got an idea. Throw this one by you. What if I get one of those aspirators, like a sprayer. Uh-huh. And fill it with gasoline and m. Go around and spray the leaves and then toss a match into the backyard?

>> Darin: I don't think that's a good idea. I don't think so.

>> Mike: But I will say it'll get rid of the leaves.

>> Darin: Yes. yes, it will. Yeah. I'm not going to say anything more because I'm going to encourage. I don't want to encourage people.

>> Mike: Don't. Don't do that.

>> Darin: Do not do that.

>> Mike: Don't do that.

>> Darin: Do not say.

>> Mike: Don't do. Don't say. Your yard on fire.

>> Darin: You've already set your yard.

>> Mike: I've done that. Yeah. I did that once.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It's not fun.

>> Darin: No, it's not.

>> Mike: Grass was dry and just right up to our deck. And I thought that was the end of it.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Well, this took a dark turn.

>> Darin: We're gonna go.


Darren: So my posts used to get traction on Twitter

Before we leave, we want to remind you again, do not set your yard.

>> Mike: Don't set your yard on fire.

>> Darin: Yeah. don't do that.

>> Mike: Don't do anything we tell you to do. Except go to irritabledadsyndrome.com.

>> Darin: Yes. Listen to any episode you want. Except for the first 25. And, if you want to join Patreon. God, that would be amazing if you did that. That would help us out. And if you want to go to our shop and you want to purchase a gift for somebody for Christmas, you can do that@irritabledadcenter.com yeah. Yeah.

>> Mike: Be awesome.

>> Darin: So we're gonna head out. We hope to see you next week on Irritable Dad Syndrome.

>> Dave: Irritable dad Syndrome is a Mark Goodson Bill Todman production.

>> Darin: Is this gonna be our last episode?

>> Mike: We say we've said that for three years now. Yeah, Yeah.

>> Darin: I don't have any friends at all who are. One way or another or. I'm sorry, I don't have any friends.

>> Mike: What would be the premium payment? I don't know. Fish.

>> Darin: Is that meat?

>> Mike: No, not really. It's a vegetable. Is this going to end in a murder suicide?

>> Darin: It might.

>> Mike: You think? I'm beginning to forget, like, what I'm doing while doing it.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah.

>> Mike: You know, like in the. In the midst of it.

>> Darin: Yes. That's the equivalent of why did I walk into this room?

>> Mike: Oh, that was a good one.

>> Darin: Yeah. You mother.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah. Boy, I'm too lazy to remove little birdie. Yeah, Little Twitter birdie from our page.

>> Darin: Well, here's the thing. So my posts used to get traction on, back when it was called Twitter. now.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: they don't do anything. I mean, I'm lucky if I get one, like, or whatever. Do you want me to wait until you're done slurping before I talk? You sure?

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: Oh, because I can wait.

>> Mike: You got mad.

>> Darin: So my posts used to do stuff you've only.

>> Mike: You've only told this 15 times on the podcast.

>> Darin: I'm talking about something new.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah. Now they don't get anything. This is something that doesn't make any sense. So there's this post that was written in 27. No, June 27th of 2012. This guy said, with the chaos of infinite collusions of subatomic particles, eventually the vast randomness, inevitability leads to serendipitous order. Okay, I replied. Yep, 20 likes.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And 15 of those likes have been within the past two weeks. Somebody found this guy's post from, 12 years ago, and they read through the comments and liked mine.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And now it's taken off like wildfire.

>> Mike: Yup. Yup. I think that's a great post. Yeah, it's a great comment.

>> Darin: Yeah. None of my original posts do jack Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: Let's try it again. I couldn't control that. That was a burp. It just happened. I didn't plan it, didn't expect. It just happened. It just is, Darren. It just is. Yeah.

>> Darin: It's slurping or burping.

>> Mike: Yeah, that should be our. This would be the.