IDS #222 - You Can Have My Cargo Shorts When You Pull Them Off My Cold Dead Ass

Ever wondered why cargo shorts are the unsung heroes of dad fashion? Darin makes a compelling case while Mike contemplates the idea of adopting a stray dog. From Costco shopping woes to the hilarious saga of a gas stove left on all day, this episode is packed with the kind of dad tales you didn't know you needed.

Plus, the duo dives into the world of Oasis, breaking down their love-hate relationship with the band, and why they think Noel and Liam Gallagher's antics are pure entertainment gold. 

And don't miss the top ten list of the most popular characters on the show! Special thanks to Rick Miller and Southern Culture on the Skids. Visit www.SCOTS.com to catch them on tour! #SouthernCultureOnTheSkids #Oasis #CargoShorts #CostcoWoes #DudeWipes Support the Show.

Transcript

>> Mike: This is 222 as the crow flies. That's another one I've been using as the crow flies. Yeah, it annoys best because I don't use it correctly. So, say, how long should this be in the microwave? Three minutes as the crow flies. That's not what that means.

>> Darin: Nurses and janitors are totally interchangeable, except no one dresses up like a janitor when they want to be slutty.

>> Dave: Welcome to irritable dad syndrome. Don't hate me. I'm still wearing white after Labor Day. Here are your hosts, Mike and Darren.

>> Mike: Hey, I'm Darren.

>> Darin: I'm Mike.

>> Mike: Welcome to irritable dad syndrome. We're glad that you are here. We are listening to our auditory program and or visual. If you are watching, we are coming to you live from the basement of one of our co hosts.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And the other co host is invited over for the recording.

>> Darin: Why are you talking like a robot? My body temperature is 95. If you wish to be warm, Doctor Smith, come into my arms.

>> Mike: Well, now that you've called it out, I feel stupid. How you doing?

>> Darin: I'm good.

>> Mike: You good?

>> Darin: I am good.

>> Mike: Did you hear that last episode, with the southern culture people? Yeah, guy.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Rick.

>> Darin: Rick Miller.

>> Mike: Miller. Southern culture on this kid.

>> Darin: Yeah. We record this podcast in advance. By the time all y'all hear this, it'll be two weeks after the episode. Drop the head. Rick Miller from southern culture on the skits. But I posted this episode on the page on southern culture, on this kids Facebook page, and got a lot of favorable remarks on it.

>> Mike: That's good.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. David Parrish said that he was, by the way, he looked us up, and we are first in the search bar when I typed irritable. That's nice to know. That's good, that's good. But he, he enjoyed that. And then David Parrish was talking a lot about, Santo. We got into a big. He used to be Santo, and I've been Santo. So David Parrish and I have something in common.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Holly Ellis said. Okay, was that episode really brought to us by Lance crackers, or was that a, inside captain wafers reference for us fans? That was a joke for the fans of the thing. Yeah, that was a terrific interview. Exclamation point. Exclamation point said Scott Holland.

>> Mike: And.

>> Darin: Yeah. And they were very happy and they listened to it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And, it's gotten really good reviews. And thanks again to Rick Miller for letting us use it.

>> Mike: We've got some personal messages. I got. I got a direct message from Freddy Hernandez.

>> Darin: Okay. How is Fred?

>> Mike: He says, where's the rest of the episode?

>> Darin: He didn't say that.

>> Mike: We do record in advance.

>> Darin: We do.

>> Mike: And this is a weird week in that we both did you have yesterday off Labor Day? I did celebrate Labor Day.

>> Darin: I did.

>> Mike: How did you celebrate Labor Day? Did you labor. I did. You not labor?

>> Darin: Oh, don't, remember what we. Sunday, we went to the water park, and on Monday, we had the beach or the other. No, the Kings island water park.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And then on Monday, we had my mom come over and I grilled burgers.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: All right.

>> Darin: So that's what we did on Monday. I make a mean burger. If I can brag about anything, I do make a mean hamburger.

>> Mike: Do you knock that burger out?

>> Darin: I did. I knocked it out of the park.

>> Mike: I was at the Kroger M. this weekend.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And I, lollygagged by the grilling section, so, you know they got the meat. Meat over there.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Where you get meat.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Do you want to grill and stuff? Like meat meat? Well, there's little meat islands. There's a meat island there that has pre seasoned meats.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: You know what I'm talking about?

>> Darin: You know, I was in a band called Meat Islands.

>> Mike: Yeah. I always just walk past that because I think I can. I can season my own meat.

>> Darin: I can season my own meat, too.

>> Mike: I'm an adult.

>> Darin: Yeah. I'm not gonna let somebody season my meat.

>> Mike: Yeah. And it's, you know, they're probably going off of, like, a YouTube video or something there in the back of the K Rogers.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Not that there's anything wrong with that.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: But I can season my own meat. But I walked by, and one of the things was pork. It did not look like pork.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: It looked like steaks.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: I thought, well, that's interesting. And every time I make. It was a tender loin.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Darin: Hello.

>> Mike: The tender loin.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Of the.

>> Darin: The tenderloin.

>> Mike: The tenderloin. M. Of the pork.

>> Darin: You're saying that the loin was tender?

>> Mike: It was tender. M. Every time I've made that in the past, it has been less than good. It's been okay. It's been one of those meals that we eat, and it keeps us living.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: But no one really enjoys it at all.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So I thought, I'm gonna try a pre seasoned tenderloin pack.

>> Darin: How was it?

>> Mike: It was pretty good.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: You know, like, when you go into a restaurant or a nice restaurant, a place where they know how to cook food. M. And you order. You order a pork chop.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And how it tastes almost steakish. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but it's not pork. I don't know if you've known this, but pork is the other white meat.

>> Darin: It is.

>> Mike: It's relatively healthy for you.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: As long as you heat it enough to kill off all the dune worms in there.

>> Darin: Yeah. Pork is not steak.

>> Mike: It's not steak. Right. steak comes from, cows and bulls. Well, is it bulls or bulls?

>> Darin: Yeah, they're in the same family.

>> Mike: Same thing. Yeah, same thing. One has horns and the other.

>> Darin: That's true.

>> Mike: Doesn't udder.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: pigs and one.

>> Darin: You don't milk.

>> Mike: One, it's okay to milk the other one. It's highly, highly, highly discouraged to attempt milking. We're, ah, in the mean people do whatever they want to do.

>> Darin: Do you remember that episode of the Simpsons where Homer, Lisa was going to be a vegetarian, and Homer's like, what about ham? No, dad. What about bacon? No, dad. What about pork chops? Dad, those all come from the same animal. Sure, Lisa, they come from a mystery animal.

>> Mike: My point is. They can season a mean pork chop. I cooked that thing up, and it was well received. Okay, I will say that Charlie enjoyed it.

>> Darin: Oh, good.

>> Mike: Charlie is, a, ah, food critic. Is the food critic in this house. So when I make something that he enjoys, I've done a tasty thing.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: so, yeah, we do.

>> Darin: The chicken that you were eating when I got here looked like it was seasoned pretty well, too.

>> Mike: I'll show you the seasoning that I've got. Perfected chicken. Usually when you see me eating chicken, it's because I've ran out of ideas. I keep a stash of chicken at all times.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: That meal got rid of our stash. So tomorrow, on the way home from work, I'm gonna get buy six chicken breasts.

>> Darin: Okay?

>> Mike: It's like I load up the fridge, and there they are. Three for a stir fry, three for a jambalaya. Or three each.

>> Darin: Shut up. You make jambalaya?

>> Mike: Yeah. Okay.

>> Darin: And you've never invited me over for, you know how much I love jambalaya.

>> Mike: I don't care how much you love jambalaya. Well, it's one of those. It's the Zatarain, you know, pack, like hamburger helper.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: With chicken.

>> Darin: Okay, gotcha. Discount jambalaya.

>> Mike: Yeah. But my stir fry is, magnafique.

>> Darin: This is Cincinnati's comedy podcast. Yes, by the way, culinary podcast.

>> Mike: You are here to laugh.

>> Darin: Oh, we are on a hilarious.

>> Mike: If you're not laughing. yet these people. I don't know if we talked about this last time. We as a family went to the king's island, right? And, Charlie. Really, really, really. I don't know if I've told you this. He's become a daredevil, okay? Since we went to Busch Gardens, and he rode every coaster. He wants to ride every roller coaster on the planet, okay? And he's been wanting to ride the beast with dad and mom and Andrew. So we all agreed best did some beast research. And I'm very proud of her because she found a. On some group somewhere on the dark.

>> Darin: Web of the Internet where to sit. Like, you sit over the wheels.

>> Mike: You don't sit over the wheels.

>> Darin: You don't sit over the wheels.

>> Mike: Not over the wheels, right? And that was like sitting on a magic carpet. And the best part of it. The best part of that trip was as we were walking to the beast, Andrew was complaining. I can't remember if he was or wasn't, but for the purposes of the story, I'm going to say he was.

>> Darin: Because he does that all the time.

>> Mike: Yeah. about. About, sorry, mine and Bess's inability to handle, the beast. But it's not that rough. You guys are just old. By the way, he said none of this stuff, but it makes the story better. During the ride, him and Charlie were behind us over the wheel, and I heard squeals of pain and. Oh, my God, this is horrible back there, whilst me and Bess mere foot and a half, 2ft in front of them.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It's like we're riding on a Rolls Royce with peeps for tires. It was a beautiful experience.

>> Darin: Oh, okay. Peeps. Yeah. I know. What people I do know, I've heard about.

>> Mike: Got a whole gaggle of them up there still. Yeah. Okay. Right after I bought that doomer doomer prepper stash, I got over my peep addiction.

>> Darin: Okay, so.

>> Mike: So anybody's looking for peels?

>> Darin: Maybe. Maybe you'll eat them next season.

>> Mike: I'll pass them out for Halloween.

>> Dave: You're listening to irritable dad syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

>> Darin: I wanted to mention, we said earlier that we record this show a week in advance, but tonight, on the night that we are recording this, it's Ed Jones birthday.

>> Mike: Happy birthday, Ed. Jones.

>> Darin: Ed Jones has been with this podcast since day one. Yeah, he is. Listen, he listened to the first episode, commented on our Facebook page about it, and he has stayed with us this whole time. He is a patron of our show. He contributes financially to the success of it. And Ed, we wish you the happiest of birthdays. Thank you for being with us here on irritable dad syndrome. We sincerely appreciate it. Poor Tom Selleck.

>> Mike: By the way, what happened to Tom Selleck?

>> Darin: Tom Selleck? They're going to cancel blue bloods.

>> Mike: I didn't even know he was on, tv.

>> Darin: Blue Bloods has been on, I think, 14 years. They're canceling blue bloods, and he is concerned that he's gonna be in the poorhouse.

>> Mike: What?

>> Darin: He said he's made $200,000 an episode for 14 years. The man has made $56 million. And he doesn't want them to cancel that show because he's going to be in the four house. So what you and I are gonna have to do is make a GoFundMe page. And for Tom Selleck. Or, I mean, I guess he's got to sell his mustache.

>> Mike: I'll buy that for a dollar.

>> Darin: Mustache rides. Nope, can't do that.

>> Mike: Nope.

>> Darin: No, no. That would be deemed inappropriate. You know me. You've known me for a long time. You've known me for years.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: I don't judge people.

>> Darin: M I'm, one of those guys that says, you know, you do you?

>> Mike: But I sense judgment coming.

>> Darin: I feel that. Ah. And you can send me hate mail, but this is coming from my heart. I think people who own two refrigerators are better than people who own just one refrigerator.

>> Mike: Really?

>> Darin: Yes. And I feel that way because, my friend gave us his old refrigerator, that he had in his garage.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: And when they moved to a smaller place, they didn't have room for theirs, and so they asked if I wanted it. I said yeah. And Mike actually came and helped me get it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And now that I have that.

>> Darin: I feel like a king.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Honest to God, my refrigerator in the garage is full of sodas, which I'll talk more about sodas later. Do you call it soda or pop?

>> Mike: I go back and forth.

>> Darin: Okay. Okay.

>> Mike: Recently, in the past few years, it's almost all soda.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Pop just sounds.

>> Darin: I know. I used to call it pop growing up in Virginia.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. So, yeah, I've got this refrigerator, and I've got it loaded up with sodas. And then there's ice. drinks. The brand's called ice. Black raspberry ice. Okay. There's some beer. And then when we have. I can't keep milk in the house. The boys drink milk like it's going out of style. And so I always have a couple of gallons of milk. And I got some beer out there. And in the freezer, I've got some ice, cream and, some other things. And. Yeah. I, I look down on people who only own one refrigerator. How many refrigerators do you have?

>> Mike: One. And I was gonna say, yeah. If, If there's one thing I think you need, it's double refrigeration. Talking to you and looking at you, it's like, Darren, that. That man needs. He needs more than one refrigerator.

>> Darin: I do. It's.

>> Mike: We used to.

>> Darin: We used to have changed our lives. Mike.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Jacob had his birthday party.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And, our neighbor, Chris Michael went and got the birthday cake at Costco illegally, because you can't get a birthday cake for someone who's not a Costco member. But he did it. He broke the law, and he did that because he's my neighbor and he likes me. So he got us an illegal Costco birthday cake. And usually we don't have room for it, and so we're like. There have been times where I had to put it in Chris Michael's refrigerator. Next door, he has two refrigerators. So Chris Michael and I are equals. So we got the illegal birthday cake, and I put it in our garage. In the refrigerator. Yeah.

>> Mike: When you went to Costco illegally, did you walk through Costco?

>> Darin: I didn't go through. Chris went.

>> Mike: I thought you had to. You were you working with your friend, and I was calling you Chris Michael.

>> Darin: Oh. That was when my brother in law, Eddie and I, we went there and one time, but they're cracking down on that.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: They will throw your ass in prison if you go in there with someone else's id. Kind of like going into, North Korea.

>> Mike: So I've gone back and forth on Costco.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: I enjoy Costco. I enjoy. We're using paper towels, trash bags, and toilet paper now that I bought there, I think, about 15 years ago in our garage.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So that's great. their steaks are amazing. They're like, half the cow, one steak. It's massive.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: But the people. Oh, my lord. And I realized that I'm a Costco member, so I'm one of those people. But no self awareness. No. Just, like. Just will stop. Dead stop in the middle of an aisle.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It's like, oh, let me taste that bacon wrapped battery, you know, and just chew it.

>> Darin: You're talking about the other shoppers.

>> Mike: Other shoppers.

>> Darin: Oh, okay.

>> Mike: Gotcha.

>> Darin: yeah.

>> Mike: If you are at Costco. Cause some people listen to podcasts while they're walking through Costco.

>> Darin: That's true.

>> Mike: If you're walking through Costco right now and you're not me, you're annoying as hell. And if you see me get out.

>> Darin: Of our mic, you're annoying as hell.

>> Mike: See, you're not at Costco to meander around and shop. That's what people don't understand. M when you go in there, you are making a commitment.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: To whatever it is you're buying. You're not just buying some frosted, mini wheats. You're buying a month's supply.

>> Darin: A month? Or at least a six weeks. Yeah.

>> Mike: These are. Nothing in there is an impulse buy, with the exception of the birthday cakes. But I go there specifically for those, so I take those off the.

>> Darin: You have to order those in advance, so you can impulsively or.

>> Mike: Yeah, you can I cakes there all the time.

>> Darin: You're right.

>> Mike: One for Antonio Banderas just a few weeks ago. I hope he enjoyed it.

>> Darin: Antonio.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I don't understand people that are lolly gagging around. Yeah. Stuff.

>> Darin: Yeah. My question is, what the hell?

>> Mike: That's what Kroger, target, Walmart traders world. That's what those places are for. Walking around and lollygagging, dilly dallying.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Costco. Get that out of my way, man. I got to get that tub of barbecue sauce, and you're in my way, standing there eating a dog wrapped pickle, or whatever the hell they're. They're always selling. They're always giving away the dog wrapped pickles. Yeah. Results may vary depending on which costco. You go to different. Different areas or different things.

>> Darin: no.

>> Mike: Easy.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Easy.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Easy.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Easy. But I'll see people walking.

>> Darin: Not gonna do it.

>> Mike: I'll see people walking with, like, three or four little bags of sample stuff, like, oh, have you tried the. The herring flavored pickles? And this disgusting woman is shoving this disgusting pickle in their disgusting husband's disgusting mouth, and he's chewing it in his frickin teeth and spurting out. And I just want to get past him to get my fricking tide pods. Don't sell bacon wrap in front of my tide pods.

>> Darin: It kills me because a line will form.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. There'll be a lady, and she's usually between 85 and 95 years old. Would you like a cracker? And she's a cracker with squeeze cheese, and the line is out the door.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: For a cracker with squeeze cheese on it. Yeah. And she's this stupid made fresh last week.

>> Mike: No, it's not. we've got some pomegranate flavored frog testicles here. There's some standing there because they're handing out in those little cups that they gave that fluoride to you back in the day.

>> Darin: Huh?

>> Mike: Back when the steak forced us to drink fluoride. Then he'd get those to you, and you pop them.

>> Darin: I thought I was the only one who was forced fluoride when we grew up.

>> Mike: Yeah, that pink.

>> Darin: And every kid in school, their mouth would look like they just eaten somebody else.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Like they're on the walking dead and.

>> Mike: Glowed in the dark for a few days. Then everybody acted like it was no big deal.

>> Darin: You know what else kills me about those people that give the samples?

>> Mike: What?

>> Darin: It's like they're giving you the sample, and they're like, yeah, these are the chicken nuggets. They're on sale this week. and then you take a bite. That's pretty good. Then they look at you like, huh?

>> Mike: That's it.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah. And then, oh, my God, if you don't buy it, the look. I mean, I get the look like I just gave you a chicken nugget, and you're not gonna. Really?

>> Mike: Yeah, that's. I.

>> Darin: What?

>> Mike: I.

>> Darin: Really?

>> Mike: Yeah. Since I've been going to Costco, I've developed the ability to say with my eyes without. No, directly.

>> Darin: The lady who said it to me.

>> Mike: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They get mad.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Angry. Just like, come on. Hello. Well, you have to walk past all the electronics. you have to walk past this, like, 90 inch Samsung galaxy tv.

>> Darin: That's.

>> Mike: That has, like, ultron staring at you.

>> Darin: $85, and there's a dude.

>> Mike: They get a little. There's a little, like, at and t and a little other thing, and there's some guy going, hey, how's your cable acting these days? I'm like, I don't. I'm not talking to you. I want my tide pods.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: What, you.

>> Darin: Yeah, I don't like that, because there are people who try to, finagle you. Yeah, I was gonna say sway.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: You into dump the satellite dish?

>> Mike: Or if you're on the satellite dish, or if you're not on the satellite dish, we'd like you to get the satellite dish. Yeah.

>> Darin: Again, I'm here for the tide pods.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, they're delicious.

>> Darin: You're not supposed to eat them. Mike, did you not pay any attention four years ago?

>> Mike: Great on the birthday cake. Perfect little garnish by the way. And our lawyers have told us we have to say, don't eat tide pods.

>> Darin: Do not eat tide pods. That was a joke.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Dave: This portion of our show is brought to you by diff liquid concentrated wallpaper stripper. With its unique enzyme action, dif dissolves old paste and cuts wallpaper removal time in half. Hi, I'm Dave lay and I'm a happily married man. One thing the little wife and I like to do is strip wallpaper. It really helps us keep the spark alive. And it could work for you, too. Put on some Barry white, pour a, ah, couple of glasses of wine and break out the diff. Things will get steamy real quick, even though no steamer is needed when using diff. So run out to your corner hardware store and grab a bottle of diff. Your marriage will last forever and ever. Now back to you guys in the studio. it's time now for the Kroger story of the week.

>> Darin: I was talking about soda or pop. Yeah, earlier I was at the Kroger. Yeah, they had the cans. A twelve pack and you can mix and match. Oh, buy two, get three, three free. Okay, you buy 212 packs. And I just wanted.

>> Mike: They're using the common core math now. It's like improper fractions and I'm like carrying the one.

>> Darin: And with your slide rule decimal. You got my abacus?

>> Mike: Yeah, I don't know if we can afford them out and do I'm going to need call my accountant.

>> Darin: Before I had my refrigerator in the garage, I didn't have room for five flipping cases of soda pop. So there was one week where I just bought one thing of root beer. The kids were having some friends come over.

>> Mike: By thing do you mean a 1212.

>> Darin: Pack of cans of, a and w root beer?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And nobody says w, by the way. A and w and w. A and George W. Bush root beer.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You're not, you're not a fan of barks.

>> Darin: I do like barks. I. Yeah, I like barks.

>> Mike: Ever since I started barking bites, it just got bite. I kind of. Ever since I got on the w.

>> Darin: M. My favorite is IBC root beer though. It's in the glass bottle.

>> Mike: Yeah, I've never tried that. Barks is a little too intense for me.

>> Darin: It bites a little too hard.

>> Mike: Yeah, it's.

>> Darin: Anyway, I was gonna buy 112 pack of cans of a and w root beer.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And the woman said, looked at me like, what are you doing to. And she says, you need to buy two. I'm like, I know I don't. She goes, if you buy two, you get three free. And she looked at me like, are, you. Have you never been here before? And then she kind of forced me.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And she's like, you buy two, you get three free. Like, do you want to walk out here without, five boxes of soda? And I'm like, well, I kind of. I did, but what did I do?

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: So she rings me up for two. Then I went back and I got some root beer and some orange. God, I love orange soda. Yeah, I love.

>> Mike: That's how they sell that.

>> Darin: I mean, like, are they just sitting on cans and cans and cans of it? They can't get rid of it. Yeah. They have to give away more than they're selling.

>> Mike: That's why they do it. They have the stuff. They know they're gonna sell the. And w the coke and those things. And then they got the loofah sponge flavored lufa that nobody wants. Yeah, but if you got three free, seven up, you're not gonna get the same thing that you got of the two because your wife or your husband or your brother or your sister is there going like, geez, how much of that do you need?

>> Darin: Right?

>> Mike: Something for the kids. Okay, I'll get a mountain dew, you.

>> Darin: Know, for the kids.

>> Mike: For the kids. And then, well, what about the dog? And, you know, that's. Then you get into the sparkling because, you know, the dogs like that. Sparkling soda. Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Makes some farta, but, yeah.

>> Darin: So my garage, my refrigerator garage, packed to the hilt. Packed top to bottom.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: With soda. Because they gave away more than I bought.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And why am I complaining? I don't know. I don't know. That's. I'm so old now I complain about getting free soda. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Dave: This has been the Kroger story of the week.

>> Mike: Our garage sucks. We can't put a fridge in that. We did have a fridge in there for a bit, but it runs, like. Well, the insulation in there sucks. So it's, like, hot in the summer and cold in the winter.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: And it just. It's all the time. Energy bill goes.

>> Darin: Speaking of energy bills, for you people who are just listening, you should have seen the look on Mike's face.

>> Mike: Guess what someone did in this house today.

>> Darin: Oh, boy. What?

>> Mike: Turned on the stove.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And left it on all day.

>> Darin: Who did that?

>> Mike: I don't know.

>> Darin: Was it you, Mike?

>> Mike: I don't think it was me. I haven't used the stove since last night.

>> Darin: Okay?

>> Mike: The point is, it's like, nothing burned down.

>> Darin: That's good.

>> Mike: Everyone still alive.

>> Darin: That is good.

>> Mike: But I'm like. I'm,

>> Darin: Oh, God, Libby can't hear this.

>> Mike: I'm thinking of.

>> Darin: Libby cannot hear this because she is. She likes to check the stove all the time.

>> Mike: Well, I'm thinking we need to move because we can't. We're not gonna be able to afford the gas bill. Because I just looked at it and I'm like, yeah, that's on. Did you just turn the stove on? And Bess is like, I did this morning.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Did you turn it off? And then it was. Well, maybe I bumped it. But when you. You gotta turn those all the way over to the. It's a gas thing.

>> Mike: And then come back over.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: So you can't just bump it. If you just bumped it, I said, then you would have come home and the dogs have been dead and the house had been about to explode.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You ever seen 24? I mean, that happened, like, every other season.

>> Darin: Every other season. Yeah. Yeah, lord, yeah. Cincinnati's comedy podcast, everybody, it's time now.

>> Dave: For the irritable dead syndrome's top ten list of most popular characters on this show. Take it away, fellas.

>> Mike: Number ten. It ain't got no gas in it. Number nine.

>> Darin: You two are just dumbing a bag of hammers.

>> Mike: Number eight.

>> Darin: That is without question, the funniest story I've ever heard.

>> Mike: Number seven. I said, I ain't giving you no time. Tree fitting, you damn loch ness monster. Get your own money.

>> Darin: Number six. Ah, ah.

>> Mike: Waka, waka, waka.

>> Darin: Number five.

>> Mike: Number four. What? Number three.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Science. Number two.

>> Darin: That's what she said. Number one. Hey, what happened? Hey. I went to Lakota. west football game. Libby and I.

>> Mike: Did you?

>> Darin: Yeah. So Cameron's not in band anymore.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: we still have friends who. Their kids are in band. Like Dan and Laura. They're miles mom and dad.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: They asked if we wanted to go to a game with them. We said, sure, that sounds like fun. And we wanted to see what the marching band was up to, even though Cameron is no longer in the marching band. So we go to this game, and, we're the walking in, and I'm making a case as to why I like cargo shorts.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: I don't care what people say about cargo shorts. People joke about dads wearing cargo shorts, and they're so out of style. And Papa gives a. Yeah, I don't care because we go in. So I walk in and I've got my cargo shorts on. I have my wallet. I have my keys, and then I have my cell phone. Okay. Libby wants. Libby demanded go get me some nachos and peanut m, M and Ms. And she told me that I have to get my own peanut m, m and Ms. Because she's not going share her.

>> Mike: Okay. Yeah. So that's reasonable.

>> Darin: I. Yeah, fair enough.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I sneaked in a drink.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Okay. So in my pockets, I have a wallet, keys, my phone, and her shorts that she was wearing. She didn't have a pocket. So I'm holding her phone.

>> Darin: So I've got wallet, keys.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: Phone, her phone, and a drink that I sneaked in.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. Then I buy two boxes of peanut M and Ms that went in my pockets. And m. Then I'm holding a box of nachos. I did not put the nachos in my pockets, but I put a big old stack of napkins in my pockets.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I walked around, I was as comfortable as could possibly be.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I still had two other pockets, back pockets that I could have put stuff in.

>> Mike: Yeah. Everybody.

>> Darin: I love cargo.

>> Mike: Anybody against cargo shorts can right off, and I'll tell you why. You go straight to Hades, get an.

>> Darin: 18 double hackle stick.

>> Mike: You go to a concert.

>> Darin: Cockle stick.

>> Mike: So they don't put pockets in. In women's pants. They just don't even.

>> Darin: It's to torture men.

>> Mike: They don't even think about it. Right. So if me and Bess go to a concert, I'm carrying her phone, her lips, id, and all that stuff.

>> Darin: Right? Yeah.

>> Mike: I'm already carrying my phone.

>> Darin: Mm

>> Mike: And then I always buy t shirts at this show, and then so does best.

>> Darin: Mm

>> Mike: So when we went to go see, hooty hoodie and the blowfish, the collective soul.

>> Darin: Collective souls with you.

>> Mike: We both bought a collective soul shirt.

>> Darin: Right pocket.

>> Mike: My phone, her phone. I had the wallet, and I had multiple pockets left over.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I mean, it was amazing.

>> Darin: Yeah, it's great.

>> Mike: And then you look at people that have those, like, I'm too scared to walk around in cover shorts because people are gonna make fun of me. Shorts.

>> Darin: Sissies.

>> Mike: Yeah. They're wearing. They buy a shirt, they've got to put it over their other shirt. They're hot and sweaty. They're nasty looking.

>> Darin: They need to grow a pair.

>> Mike: Grow a pair.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: You can take my cargo shorts when you pull them off. My cold, dead ass.

>> Mike: That's the title.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: That's the title that I'm gonna use. Ass. You could have my kroger shorts when you pull them up by cold, cold, dead ass. There you go. speaking of cold, dead ass, Oasis is retouring.

>> Darin: They are.

>> Mike: Is getting back. Is. Well, they're doing a reunion tour. I'm a huge Oasis fan.

>> Darin: I've learned something over the past week, that people either love or hate Oasis.

>> Mike: I have never seen so many of the best bands. That's how it is.

>> Darin: yeah. I mean, it's like, you remember when everybody hated Nickelback.

>> Mike: I think everybody still does.

>> Darin: Like, Dave lay loved Nickelback.

>> Mike: Yeah. He's their fan.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So in Ryan Reynolds.

>> Darin: Sorry, Dave, I just threw you and Ryan Reynolds under the bus. But yeah. My God, people love oasis. Or they just did not. I don't care for them. Hate.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Oasis. And over the past week, I have. Well, except for today.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: I have grown to appreciate Noel Gallagher. I just learned which one is which. Okay, Liam doesn't play an instrument.

>> Mike: No, no.

>> Darin: Is the one who can sing and write and plays guitar and is, like, really way more talented than the other one.

>> Mike: Yes. He does everything but sing. And he does sing. He sings, like, half the song, and.

>> Darin: He can sing amazingly. Right. but there was an episode of Letterman where they did live forever.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: And when Dave introduces them, Liam is sitting there and he gets up, dustes himself off, and then sings a song. When Noel is doing his guitar solo, Liam sits down.

>> Mike: He just.

>> Darin: He just sits on his fat ass and just looks like he could give a. Yeah. And then he's like, okay, yeah. hey, I'm Liam, and whatever. I don't know the words of the song.

>> Mike: That's the. That's the words of the song.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I am, Liamdev.

>> Darin: And he sings the rest of it. When they're done, Letterman looks at Paul and he says, you know, they flew over here from England, which is probably why he's so tired. Paul's like jet lag, David.

>> Mike: Yeah, sure.

>> Darin: But, yeah, he could just. Liam could give a. Yeah, he just sits down.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I remember years ago, and I'm not trying to change, we would see Pat Benatar and Blondie.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. What? a great concert. Pat Benatar was amazing. I was really looking forward to seeing Blondie. Blondie would sing, and then she would just walk over to the side of the stage while the guitarist did his solo, and then she would walk back. Call me. Yeah, call me.

>> Mike: Call me.

>> Darin: Yeah. And then she would sing, and then she'd walk over to the set and just stand there.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: She wouldn't, like, walk and wave and, and, like, try to high five anybody. I'm like, do you really not have any crowd work?

>> Mike: Not to further change the subject, but tool. Aha. Uh-huh. There's video of this. I'm gonna. I'll send it to you one of these days. There's, there. One of their songs on the new album is so long, the guitar solo and all that is so long that Maynard. They did a gas. No, when it starts, a waiter comes out and puts a table down. Maynard sits at the table, looks at the menu, orders something. It comes, he eats it. Well, he's got a drink and everything the whole time and finishes up. They take it all away, and then it's his turn to sing again.

>> Darin: That's funny.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: okay. Years and years ago, 30 some years ago or whatever, when I was in Johnson city, we went to see Tesla. Do you remember Tesla?

>> Mike: I remember Tesla.

>> Darin: Okay, so Tesla, those are those cars? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're doing love song.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Okay. That's. I believe that's the name of the song.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And it was the last night that they were on this leg of the tour, I think.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And they were screwing with them. The other bands were screwing them all night. Someone came out and brought a toilet and plucked it down there, pulled their shorts out and sat on it reading the newspaper while they're trying to do love song. That was a good time. Yeah. And then they started taking the drummers, symbols, and they disassembled his kit while he was doing his last song.

>> Mike: So I'll go back to tool one more time.

>> Darin: There's a song, cincinnati's comedy podcast on.

>> Mike: their album lateralis. The song lateralis has a gong. And Danny Carrey is one of the greatest drummers of all time, has this ungodly kit. He has a gong behind him, and the way he does it is he does all this stuff, and then he reaches down beside him while he's drumming with one hand and both feet with the other hand. He bangs the gong.

>> Darin: Right?

>> Mike: Well, it's a long instrumental piece before you get to that point. So they started having this. They had a little camera down there and these little gags. And my favorite one was Maynard would be down there playing jenga right next to the gong. And the gong hits and the jenga flies apart. He's like, what the hell?

>> Darin: That's funny. Yeah, that's funny.

>> Mike: Anyway, Oasis.

>> Darin: Oasis, yeah.

>> Mike: I've said before, one of my favorite things about them is just their absolute just attitude. I've seen them three times.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: One of my favorite opens was when I saw them with Fancher. we saw them in, I think it was. It was near Cleveland. It was some festival out there.

>> Darin: It doesn't matter where they were.

>> Mike: Well, it does to me.

>> Darin: Oh, okay. Okay.

>> Mike: So they were huge. This was the don't believe the truth tour. M so it was kind of they. They went away, and then that was kind of. They were coming back into it before they finally just ended oasis. And Liam comes out in a black trench coat and sunglasses. This is at night, right? And outside, and just stands there with his hands in his pockets, staring at the crowd, just staring. And people are losing their minds, and he's not reacting at all to them. And the rest of the band filters in. Slowly they start playing the instrumental part of the song. Liam's not moving at all until it's time for him to sing. And then he just belts in the straight. Liam and me and Fancher were laughing ourselves silly. It was so fun, and I don't know why. I don't know why it's so fun to watch them be asses. But I. We were passing around the video in our little group of just them being fighting and being jerks.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Hilarious.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah.

>> Mike: It's funny.

>> Darin: Well, I sent you a video today that I saw on the TikTok of Liam, talking to elementary school kids.

>> Mike: Yeah, I did watch that. I did watch that.

>> Darin: Oh, it was so good. And then they. Do you like to fart? Well, of course I like to fart. I'm like, finally you showed some personality.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: you know, it's fun because they say the stuff that you're not supposed to say.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Ah, interviews, you know, and Liam gets all the press for being the jerk of the group, but no, no. Can be an asshole, too.

>> Darin: I'm sure he can. Yeah.

>> Mike: And when they go at it with each other, man, it's. Well, it's their. Legendary for it. That's.

>> Darin: Well, you know, when they draws a crowd, when they did MTV unplugged.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: Liam didn't sing anything.

>> Mike: No, he sat in the crowd.

>> Darin: He was in the audience when Noel did the whole show. And that's why I've always been a fan of Noel Gallagher, because I remember sitting there watching, like, why is Liam.

>> Mike: In the group simultaneously? I love that Noel did that, and I also love that Liam did that.

>> Darin: I don't know, but I just don't understand why Liam is in the group. Noel doesn't need him in the group.

>> Mike: I thought about this a couple times a day. Whether or not I would draw this parallel, and I think I will, I'll probably regret it later. But it's almost like Axl rose and guns n roses. Axel can just be a baby.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Back in the nineties, you know, it was legendary Metallica. The metallic and guns and roses toured together.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And on the year and a half in the life of Metallica documentary.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: You have James Hetfield going off about Axl Rose. Like, what the hell?

>> Darin: They could have saved the day.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: They could have came out. They could have done an extra long show. They could have said, man, we're sorry to hear that James had the accident. But, guys, we got you. But, no, Axl rose and guns n roses didn't come on for, like, an hour and 45 minutes.

>> Mike: And somehow. Yes. See, Oasis doesn't do that, but they can be petty and just be jerks on stage, and it's entertaining, and it's some kind of magic, super special sauce they got going on there. I don't get it, but I love them.

>> Darin: I mean, I'm not. I'm like the 2,000,000th person that said they sound like the Beatles, and they even say they sound.

>> Mike: Yeah, they. They want to be the Beatles. They.

>> Darin: And they're the closest I think I've ever heard someone be the Beatles.

>> Mike: Be here now. Their album be here now was, like, to the point where it was like everyone in the music industry was like, guys, can you calm down?

>> Darin: Honest to God. Don't look back in anger. Sounds like the. The piano part at the beginning sounds like imagine.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And then when Noel kicks in, he sounds so much like John Lennon. Not only does his voice sound like John Lennon, it sounds like lyrics that Lennon would have written.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: He's got the glasses.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: The red spectacles.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And he looks like John Lennon.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And then I used to think that it was just Noel who sounded and wrote songs like John Lennon, but, my God, the guitar solo sounds like George Harrison.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: This. And this is good, by the way. I'm not, you know.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: It's not like, Excuse me. Not like when people bitch about Greta Van Fleet completely ripping off Led Zeppelin. But, I mean, my God, I've never heard anything sound so close to the Beatles.

>> Mike: Yeah. And I'm smiling because I'm. I know there was multiple interviews where they're accused of being like the Beatles, and it would be. Yeah. Inflict the Beatles. Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: That's what we're trying to get the best in it.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You know?

>> Darin: Yes. Why not? It's like, yeah, I think if John Lennon were alive, he'd be proud.

>> Mike: I think you would.

>> Darin: God.

>> Mike: Yeah, man. Yes.

>> Darin: I used to work with a woman who thought the song was with their champagne tipping over in the sky.

>> Mike: Yeah, that's wrong.

>> Darin: And, oh, did we have a laugh about that. That was, the same person who I put a poll in our office.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, be.

>> Darin: Go back a couple episodes and listen to that one.

>> Dave: Kids, this portion of our show brought to you by Amway. That's right, amway. Apparently, they're still a thing. I used to joke about selling Amway products all the time. Well, anywho, see all that Amway offers right now@Amway.com?

>> Darin: Have you ever watched a show or, like, felt like you discovered a show that's so old, and then you got into it and, like, everyone's already watched it. Like, we watched Bob's burgers for the first time.

>> Mike: I've never watched it.

>> Darin: Oh, my God. Is it hysterical? it is so hysterically funny, and it's wrong on so many level. It's not like family guy wrong or, it's somewhere between, it's two notches below family guy and, like, one notch above the Simpsons on, some of the things that they do that are wrong, but, oh, my God, it's hysterical. And I was talking to people about it. My buddy Steve Farrell, he says, you know, it's been up for 15 years.

>> Mike: 15. Yeah, it's been around.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And it is so funny. And I can't, If you've never watched Bob's burgers, I cannot recommend it enough. It is so funny.

>> Mike: I was gonna say breaking bad was like that for me, but not that far. We didn't start watching it live, like, when it was on until, like, the middle of the fourth season, I think it was.

>> Darin: Right? Yeah. Yeah. I was that way, too. I missed with breaking Bad. I missed seasons one and two. Remember dvd's?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Rent the dvd's from blockbuster and then from Netflix, and then we got caught up, and then we watched them live, like, season three, probably three, maybe four. And then I'm like, God, I wish we had just waited until the whole thing was over and just watched them binge watched them m. Oh, yeah, because.

>> Mike: It was torture those last couple seasons, right? Yeah. I mean, people are getting sick of us talking about it, but, my God, the ah in spoiler for a 50 year old series. I still have flashbacks of the episode that ended with Walt and Hank and all of them are out in the desert, and Hank pulls out his gun and just starts shooting. And then it ends. I'm like, really?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I gotta wait a week for.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: Oh, I was rough.

>> Darin: Well, the season before was when Hank was on the. He noticed ww.

>> Mike: Yeah, it ended.

>> Darin: And that was all. That was the cliffhanger.

>> Mike: Oh, God. We gotta wait months.

>> Darin: Months.

>> Mike: Well, yeah.

>> Darin: Tell you, you kids today, you have no idea. Only binge watch tv series. You have no idea how good you have it. M. Because we're. I told you, we're watching. This is us with a shake up the camera. We are burning through it. We're almost at season five, right? And we end an episode, and we start the next one immediately. And Libby's laughing like, okay, I remember when your dad and I watched this, and we had to wait a whole week to find out if Randall killed Kevin because we really thought Randall was gonna kill Kevin.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never watched that show, so I don't.

>> Darin: Oh, it's so good. Not as funny as Bob's burger.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So we almost got a third dog today.

>> Darin: Oh, no, you need another dog. Like, you need a hole in the head.

>> Mike: That's. Yes.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So, I get a text from Bess saying that we have a stray dog that followed us home, and it won't leave. And I get home, and the dog is not outside, but I. Charlie's walking around on this, on the sidewalk, right? Like, what are you doing, buddy? He's like, I gotta go find that dog. And I'm like, the stray dog that it finally leave. He's like, yeah, I need to go find it. I was like, what do you. What? Just. It's gone, right? I mean, it left. He's like, yeah, but it could be lost. Like, okay. So I came in. I tell Bess what's going on. Charlie wants to go find it because he's a good kid. He's afraid the dog's gonna get run over by a car. So I was like, that's.

>> Darin: That's understandable.

>> Mike: Then we almost canceled this episode tonight because Charlie wanted to go door to door, and we didn't know what to do because the dog. He brought the dog back. And now the dog's out there. It's a relatively large dog.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And it had no collar. No. Nothing on it. No collar on it. No identification. It didn't speak its name or its address.

>> Darin: Right. What's your name, buddy?

>> Mike: So we decide we're just going to walk down the street. This is. I had my phone. I was ready to text you. We have to cancel because I'm walking a strange dog around the neighborhood. There's a couple that live down at the end of the street. Nice couple. We say hi to them every time we go by. Dog tries to get in their house, and they are looking at us like, what are you doing with your dog off a leash? I'm gesturing. That's not our dog. We're trying to find this dog's owner. They come over and the lady says, do you want a leash that you can guided around? And I said, no. Then it's gonna think it's our dog. And she looked at me and she said, well, which meant, could be your dog. it's now trying to get in our house, so can you. I was like, okay, we'll take a leash. They put the leash on it. As soon as the leash went around this dog's neck, it got right to my side, sat down right next to my leg and looked up at me.

>> Darin: You're my dad and I love you.

>> Mike: Yes. It was like, instant. I love you. I was like, this dog has been least trained and now thinks I'm its dad. Oh, boy. And we start walking. It's walking perfectly. I almost thought maybe. Maybe we can trade in one of our current dogs, one of our current wild dogs, for this very well trained dog. And I'm resigned. I'm resigned. I pull out my phone and I'm starting to text. I actually texted Bess, we've got a third dog now. And as I was getting ready to hit send, this car pulled up. So he's like, Zoe. I now know that the dog's name is Zoe. Okay, dude got out. Jesus. Damnedest thing. I just come home and the dog's not here.

>> Darin: Yeah, okay. Yeah, here's your dog.

>> Mike: I met him. I was like, I want to make sure I get your name. Don't remember his name at all. I Do that all the time. But now we know where his house is, so if Zoe comes back, we can take her back to where she needs to be, right?

>> Darin: Yeah. Oh, God. When I had Conrad, that dog, he got out all the time. A beagle. And when he escaped, he would just run and run and run and run. And I know I've told stories on the podcast about him before, but I came home one day and I was grabbing snacks and some clothes, a change of clothes for the kids because they had. I had to pick them up from daycare and then take them to karate. So.

>> Mike: Karate.

>> Darin: Karate. I go in and I'm starting to get the snacks. I'd let Conrad out. Yeah, right. I didn't realize that the door was still cracked.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Right. So he went out and then completely got out. And usually, when Conrad would go out, well, like, within a minute, he would start barking because he was a stupid dog. He would be outside for a minute. And m he's like, why can't you just. It's. You're a dog. Like, play outside for a minute. So he never barked. I'm like, oh, great. And I look, and he's not in the backyard. And then I immediately start thinking, okay, I've got to go and find him. So I go in the front yard, look right, look left, look straight. He's nowhere to be seen. the phone rings, and someone at the park a mile down the street, about a half mile, is m. like, are you the owner of Conrad? I said, yes. And they had found him because he had his name and his collar. It's a good idea if you have a dog, get one of them. Name tag Collins.

>> Mike: Put something on. Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: And so they held him and I went and I got him and I brought him home. But there was another time where it was winter and he got loose. And, I'm running and I'm chasing him, and there's this woman. And he starts running towards the woman. I said, grab him. She says, what? Said, grab the dog. She's, grab the. Grab the dog. You want me to grab the dog? Grab the dog?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Why do you want me to grab. Just.

>> Mike: Oh, my lord.

>> Darin: The dog. And he just runs right past her.

>> Mike: Yeah. All she had to do was grab the dog.

>> Darin: All she had to do was look, hey, smoochie. And he would have come up and.

>> Mike: She would have just.

>> Darin: Yeah. What do you not understand about grab the, dog?

>> Mike: People are the worst, man. People are the absolute worst.

>> Darin: Chase the dog for another 20 minutes.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Thanks, lady.

>> Mike: We don't need the marvels and the DC hero stories. We just need people that can take simple instruction.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Just grab that dog. Grabbed it. Put in that Captain America music.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And boom, you've got a movie. I'd watch it.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Dave: This portion of our show is brought to you by Otis elevators. And listeners like, you drove Cameron to.

>> Darin: School the other morning. And when I'm driving back to the house, I've got the radio on and a commercial comes on for dude wipes. And I thought it was a segment on Bob and Tom.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Okay. I, thought, this is hilarious because dude wipes it's basically butt wipes.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But for adult men.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got the crusties.

>> Darin: Yes. And it was this woman talking about how it's like, gosh, I can't send my kid off to college. Not with the skid marks in his underpants. And I said, this can't be real. That's why I send my son dude wipes.

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Darin: And then there's. And so I did some research, Mike.

>> Mike: I did my own research. Thank you.

>> Darin: With dude wipes.

>> Mike: This is kind of the hard cutting journalism you come to the show for.

>> Darin: Dude wipes when you've got a mess down there.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Use a dude wipe, and it clears. It doesn't smear.

>> Mike: It clears, clears, doesn't.

>> Darin: Doesn't smear. Dude wipes.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I'm like, this is just it. They're baby wipes.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yes. They're baby wipes.

>> Darin: Yeah. That's all they are.

>> Mike: Dude wipes.

>> Darin: But they're dude wipes. Look, that's marketing genius.

>> Mike: Yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah. It's like the, Oh, my God. We're gonna have to wrap this up. Yeah, the dogs have lost their minds up there.

>> Darin: Guys, we've had fun. We're gonna shut up about the dude wipes and wiping butts and all that stuff. we want you to go to irritable dad syndrome. Calm. And I, if you haven't listened, go couple episodes back and listen to the episode of Rick Miller from southern culture on the skids. And if you want, go to scots.com. and if they're touring anywhere near you, you need to go see southern culture on the skits in concert, live. They are amazing. And while you're on the Internet.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: after you go to scotts.com, comma, go to irritabledadsyndrome.com.

>> Mike: We got some things on there.

>> Darin: Yeah. You can listen to every episode we have. You can buy irritable dad syndrome political t shirts.

>> Mike: You can peruse the fancy episode art that accompanies every episode, and no one ever comments on except for Darren.

>> Darin: Yeah. Created by, Mike himself.

>> Mike: Well, in theory, yeah.

>> Darin: Mike's amazing, so, yeah, do all that. But most importantly, yes, we hope to see you next week on irritable dad syndrome. That's right.

>> Dave: Irritable dad syndrome is a Mike Odell Darren Cox production.

>> Mike: well, is it recording your voices?

>> Darin: Yeah. You look like that dude from Harry.

>> Mike: Potter with a googly eye.

>> Darin: no, not the guy with the googly eye. The dudes. orifice.

>> Mike: I think I look good. I look damn good. You look red.

>> Darin: Gotta get down with a. Get down.

>> Mike: Now there's. That's more. There's.

>> Darin: Therefore I like.

>> Mike: Look at that right there.

>> Darin: Brad. Daddy looks good.

>> Mike: Getting on it. Only fans right here.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: $10 a month.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: that's another thing I've been doing to best. Turn it off. Your ring. No, whatever. She. She'll say something like, can you give me a wire? And I'll be like, can you hear me? Water burp?

>> Darin: And how are you still married? Honest to God, I think you're. I mean, you may be more annoying than I am.

>> Mike: Look at that. Yeah, that pops that color that, slaps that color color. Color color. That's best. Gets mad at me because I don't. I say color collar. Yeah. She says, it's color color. Cooler color.

>> Darin: Cooler color. Cooler color.

>> Mike: I culled the barbarian words. Color.

>> Darin: You called the way cold call color color color.

>> Mike: I'm a color color. I'm one who calls.

>> Darin: Yeah. Yes.

>> Mike: M. It clearly could have used some.

>> Darin: Dude wipes, but doesn't smear.

>> Mike: Do you ever look back at your post every once in a while. Think, am I being a little bit of an. Am I being, See every once in a while?

>> Darin: No, no, no. I haven't commented.

>> Mike: No self awareness at all.

>> Darin: No, I have no self awareness at all. I don't. I don't even know I'm here.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: he did not say that.

>> Mike: Where's the rest of the interview?

>> Darin: Really?

>> Mike: Yeah. Read Fred Hernandez. It was Fred Hernandez apparently was watching live.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: He's a figment of my imagination. Oh, we haven't done a mike's reading now update in a long time.

>> Darin: Oh, I thought that was for a reason.

>> Mike: They don't have pairs. No, which is why they can wear those short shorts. They turned sideways.

>> Darin: Have they tucked?

>> Mike: Highly recommend you cut that.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: You look fine, and I look like the guy from Empire strikes back.

>> Darin: Lobot. We now continue with our show already in progress.

>> Mike: That's it, man. Game over, man. It's game.

>> Darin: Overdose.