IDS #218 - Stop Calling Me Carl

Mike and Darin dive into legendary pranks that really riled people up.

Ever snacked on cookies from the trash or pizza that hit the floor face-first? Just curious, on behalf of a friend.

Also featuring tales of speeding tickets, breakdancing, fiddler crabs banging on the internet, and much more.

This is the ideal episode to share with all your friends.

#DOOM #SPEEDINGTICKET #BREAKDANCING #BREAKINGBAD #THISISUS
#irritabledadsyndrome

Transcript

>> Mike: doom one and two have been remastered with heavy metal soundtracks. They originally had heavy metal soundtracks, but they were like Midi like.

>> Darin: Are you recording?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay, good.

>> Mike: Like that. Now there, like an actual guitar.

>> Darin: Come on.

>> Mike: It's awesome.

>> Darin: I know less about women than anyone in the world.

>> Dave: welcome m to irritable dad syndrome. Ask us about our gluten free menu. Give it up for your hosts, Mike and Darren.

>> Darin: Hello, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I am Michael.

>> Darin: Welcome to irritable dad syndrome. This is episode 218.

>> Mike: 218, 218. Come on down to the 218. We're going to drop it.

>> Darin: Yes, we're going to drop it like it's hot.

>> Mike: Mikey has nothing to tease. So generally speaking, when Mikey has nothing to tease, he comes out of the gate swinging.

>> Darin: Swinging.

>> Mike: So, you're welcome.

>> Darin: Tonight I'm going to tell two stories of times where I've played a prank or did something that I thought was funny that pissed people off so many times. Oh, no, there's just two stories I'm telling tonight. We've got more episodes to record, so I'm going to say. How you doing?

>> Mike: I'm doing good. Yeah, I'm doing good. I, got a ticket yesterday. I started telling the story, so I went to go see, mister Mat box. Matthew box.

>> Darin: Matthew box.

>> Mike: The box had his gallery opening.

>> Darin: Matthew Box is a musician and he's a photographer and he's a lifetime friend of Mike. Well, he went to college with you.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I got to know Matt box. When was it, five years ago? Six years ago?

>> Mike: Yeah, seven.

>> Darin: Seven years ago, when we all went to see the ute's, the u two, they came to Louisville and at the capital of Kentucky. Is it Louisville or Louisville?

>> Mike: Louisville.

>> Darin: It's Frankfurt. So yeah, we all drove down there and I just met him and I instantly like this guy. He's a cool guy. So anyway, but yeah, he's a musician, he's a photographer, and he had an art gallery.

>> Mike: Yeah, he just started taking pictures around the same time that we started this podcast. close to that time.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So we follow each other on the Twitter slash. Actually, by the way, we've got news about that a little bit later. Yeah. And we kind of cross promote. And I was excited because he announced he was having an art show, a gallery show. I don't know how these things work.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: but basically it was an excuse for me to go visit Athens, Athens, Ohio, and support my friend.

>> Darin: Not Greece, where they had the Olympics.

>> Mike: On the way, I, was afraid I was going to be late, so.

>> Darin: Good excuse.

>> Mike: I was doing what one does when they're afraid they're going to be late. I was going exceptionally fast.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Plus it's Ohio. If you've ever driven through Ohio, it's.

>> Darin: There's no need to slow down and look at it. No, ain't nothing to see in Ohio.

>> Mike: No. I mean, if you do slow down, a cow would look at you and be like, really? There's nothing here but, us.

>> Darin: Especially once you leave. If you're driving from Cincinnati to Columbus, that's the state capitol.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: My God. There's just mile after mile after mile of just field.

>> Mike: So I was in, what the cop referred to as a 55 miles an hour zone.

>> Darin: That's what he referred it to as.

>> Mike: And I was going, according to him, 69 miles an hour. Mm Ah, so he was driving on the opposite, you know, it was one of those two lane roads, and he's driving the other way. And I had enough time. I looked up and I saw him. Cause I wasn't paying attention to the road I was fiddling around with. Why would you do other stuff in the car?

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: I had some nerds. Those nerd gummies. Oh, I love those. And you know, you know, like when multiple ones get stuck together. Ah. I had four of them stuck together.

>> Darin: You just put them all in your mouth at the same time?

>> Mike: Well, I had been doing that. Uh-huh. But I was near the end of the package, okay. And I started to feel like a fat. And I didn't want to, I didn't want to keep putting four of these things in my face, you know what I mean? I had a moment of self control, like, I need to get the other two off. And I look up and I just. He's lights were blaring. He wasn't even facing.

>> Darin: Did he whip it around like Roscoe P. Colby?

>> Mike: He whipped it around like Roscoe with the lights on. And you know me, I'm a scuffing.

>> Darin: Up in my town, don't you?

>> Mike: If I'm nothing else, I'm a law abiding citizen.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: So I pulled off on probably the.

>> Darin: Least pull off a bull.

>> Mike: Good place to pull off.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And he came over and. Small guy, and he came up young, guy.

>> Darin: So you could have taken him.

>> Mike: He did have a gun.

>> Darin: I bet you looked at misses. You think you're hot with that gun? Don't.

>> Mike: Yeah, I stuck my bald head out and I said, is this, should I not be here right now? Should I pull up? And he's like, yeah, why don't you get back on the main road here and then pull off a little bit up. There's an actual space where cars can pull off. Okay. I was kind of catty. Wampus.

>> Darin: Mmm m, that's an Ohio term.

>> Mike: Yeah. So then I think I pull up, he comes up to the window again. He's like, hi, again.

>> Darin: Hi.

>> Dave: Hi, I'm Dave lay.

>> Mike: He said, you have any weapons in the car?

>> Mike: And I said, no,

>> Darin: I don't.

>> Mike: Futz around with the cops.

>> Darin: No, you don't.

>> Mike: It's not a time for humor.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: And I didn't have very many one liners to go along with that anyway, so it worked out.

>> Darin: And he's, you know, in my experience, they don't usually have that much of a sense of humor.

>> Mike: they're not in the mood. He said, do you know why I pulled you over? My brain? Said, because I was going fast as and trying to get these four gummy bears down to two gummy bears, so, ah, that I can respect myself in the morning. That's what I thought.

>> Darin: Now you want to do that?

>> Mike: But what I said was, was I was going a little fast. And he said, yeah, you're going 69 at 55. And I said, holy And he laughed. He's like, yeah, you're getting it. I was like, okay. I was like, I had no idea I was going that fast. He's like, well, he's like, these roads, they all look the same. They're all boring. I, you know, we, a lot of people get pulled over on this road. And I thought he was gonna let me go. And he went back to his car.

>> Darin: Did you unbutton your shirt? That works sometimes.

>> Mike: And then he came back with the big steel clipboard thing that says, you're getting, you're getting, oh, you're getting it. Getting rode up, as they say.

>> Mike: And he said, look, we have a lot of people speed on this road, and we're trying to cut down on it. So I got it. I got to give you a ticket. He's a citation.

>> Darin: Okay. Not a ticket, but a citation.

>> Mike: And I said, okay.

>> Mike: And, then I had to write my phone number. I forgot my phone number. It was embarrassing.

>> Darin: When do you call yourself?

>> Mike: Exactly. And then I signed it and I went along my way. And I was pissed then because he was right behind me and I couldn't resume speeding.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: I mean, yeah, he was behind me for like three, 4 miles.

>> Darin: He was going the other way.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Can't he just turn back around?

>> Mike: Apparently not. I guess he wanted to make sure that I wasn't just gonna take off again.

>> Darin: Dork.

>> Mike: Then he turned off some road and then I just tore ass. Just kept speeding on Athens. So I was about a half hour late, but yeah, I did. I see Matt perform, so I have a video of his band performing.

>> Darin: Okay, and what's the name of the band?

>> Mike: The yabba dabba dudes. Oh, one of his bands.

>> Darin: He's in like eight bands.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I can't get one band going. And Matt Box is in eight bands.

>> Mike: And then, his mom was there, and I knew his mom m from college.

>> Darin: Mama box was there.

>> Mike: Yeah. And, Kim, her husband and, his wife, they were all there and she was. She's like, I actually am meeting you now in 3D. I've seen you on Facebook.

>> Darin: 3D.

>> Mike: Yeah. She's like, you're actually here. And I. Yes, I.

>> Darin: You've never met her, the wife?

>> Mike: Not in person.

>> Darin: Okay. I thought you had.

>> Mike: Don't think I.

>> Darin: What about Dan's wife?

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Yes, I have met Dan's wife, Susan. Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah. well, cool.

>> Darin: So how was the art show?

>> Mike: It was fun.

>> Darin: Yeah, it was cool.

>> Mike: I bought that art piece.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And then I bought a key.

>> Darin: Ah.

>> Mike: Ring from a guy that could not hear. He gave me a note that said, I can't hear. Will you buy a key ring?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And, I mean, what do you. I don't know what to do in this situation. I've never been in that situation or.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So I just bought one. Yeah.

>> Darin: How much is key ring?

>> Mike: It's $10.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And I felt bad, but then I was like, you know, because he's in a. You know, he was. He was clearly had, some physical issues. I felt bad for him because then he was like, gesturing other people, and then other people were much more assertive than I was to. And they're like, ah, no, thank you. Thank you. And I'm like, okay, Karen.

>> Darin: I have a very good friend named Karen.

>> Mike: So he would, he would offer them to other people.

>> Darin: Karen doesn't listen to the podcast.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And that was a conversation that I had with her a couple of days ago.

>> Mike: Yeah. Did you tell her to quit being a Karen and listen to the podcast?

>> Darin: Well, you know what? It came up on Facebook that Courtney Linton, Oregon, as you call her, Juergen, it says, you guys have been friends for 14 years. And I'm like, we've been friends for longer than that. Almost 40 years since we graduated high school together, and Karen hops on there, and she goes, oh, yeah, you like Courtney more than you like me. And I said, well, Courtney listens to my podcast, and then that shut that down. Anyway, your hair looks nice to me.

>> Mike: He was offering it to other people, and they just shut him down. And then I felt bad, and I'm like, come on, jerks, buy a chain. Chain from the guy.

>> Dave: You are listening to irritable dad syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

>> Mike: I mean, would it kill you not to be so funny all the time? That's all I'm asking.

>> Darin: This woman thinks I'm very funny, and now you're gonna be funny, so what.

>> Mike: Am I gonna be?

>> Darin: I'm gonna be a short, bald guy with glasses who suddenly doesn't seem so funny. Before the show started, Mike and I were talking about the Olympics. Breakdancing was in the Olympics for the first time ever. And what the hell were they doing? That was not breakdancing. That was. That was like your mom. It says, hey, guys. Hey, kids, look what I can do. And that's a mom attempting to break dance to embarrass her kids at a birthday party. Yeah, that's what they were doing.

>> Mike: One of them did the t Rex, did this thing.

>> Darin: I don't know what was going on, but, I mean, I. Okay, I used to break dance, okay? The closest I got to, like, on the floor was I could do a backspin, but I never could do what's called the windmill. I never could see, I never could windmill. And I never even attempted to do the head spin, but I could do the. You know, I could moonwalk, and then I could reverse moonwalk. That's where it looks like you're walking backwards, but you move forwards. I could do the four corners. I can still do the four corners. That's where it looks like you're walking, but you move in four different corners.

>> Mike: Okay?

>> Darin: Okay. When I worked at Channel five, I would break that out and blow everybody's mind because we went to Reds opening day, and there was a huge party out outside a red stadium. I'm out there breakdancing. I'm doing the wave. I'm popping, I'm blocking. I do the shock. That's when you. You know, whatever I'm doing. People were losing their minds, okay? Nobody was doing any of that at the Olympics. They're break dancing.

>> Mike: Not even the windmill. That seems like they did the windmill.

>> Darin: But, like, one rotation of the windmill, that's not.

>> Mike: That's just falling down gracefully.

>> Darin: There was no worm. There was no popping and locking and not. I'm like, I don't. Where's Ollie and Jerry with shabberanks?

>> Mike: How do you rate break dancing?

>> Darin: Apparently very generously.

>> Mike: Did they have, what music were they doing? Dj jazzy Jeff.

>> Darin: I don't know. I I didn't recognize the music. It wasn't Herbie Hancock. I know that.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Cuz that's what I used, I used to throw down to the rocket by Herbie Hancock.

>> Mike: Okay. Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: I don't know.

>> Darin: But now I'm hearing they're not gonna do break dancing again. But I don't know if that's true or not. I think kickball needs to be in the Olympics.

>> Mike: Mm.

>> Darin: Get the big ass red.

>> Mike: Kickball makes that sound when you kick.

>> Darin: Separate everybody, boys versus girls and you kickball until it's time to go back to third period.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: I don't know. I have no idea what's going on.

>> Mike: We're recording on a weird night tonight.

>> Darin: We're recording on a Monday. Okay. So you, know Mike Chisholm?

>> Mike: I do.

>> Darin: Mike Chisholm is the host of the Letterman podcast Chisholm. Chisholm. Mike Chisholm is host of the Letterman podcast. And a few weeks ago, he made an appearance on a podcast by this guy named Chris. And the podcast is called there's too many podcasts.

>> Mike: There are.

>> Darin: That's what I was going to say. And so Mike said, hey, you need to get in touch with this guy, Darren Cox. And he and his buddy Mike, you've got to talk to him if you want to talk to somebody about podcasts. Apparently Mike thinks we walk on water. Okay, I'm very flattered. Mike Chisholm speaks extremely highly of us in this pocket.

>> Mike: He's a good dude.

>> Darin: He is a good dude. There's something wrong with him still.

>> Mike: He's a good dude.

>> Darin: So he tells this guy, Chris, you got to get in touch with these guys and have them on your show. And I remember when Don Smith had us on the Life Radio podcast.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Early on, I'm like, I'm going to pay it forward. So he reached out to me and says, you know, I hear that you guys do a fun podcast. I'd like to have you on. I said, absolutely. We were gonna be on tonight, but unfortunately Chris had to cancel, so. And I was going to invite him to participate in this episode.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: But anyway, if you get a chance, I'm still gonna pimp, go on the, ww and check out there's too many podcasts. And I think there's eight episodes, guys, from out of Cleveland. And he's a sportscaster.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Got a really good voice.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And he asks some very interesting journalistic questions.

>> Mike: Journalistic?

>> Darin: Yeah. But had we been on his show, the first thing I would have said was, it's, there are too many podcasts. Not, there is too many podcasts. and then he would have said, well, thanks for coming on, Darren, and shut it down.

>> Dave: This portion of our show is brought to you by the four slice toaster. Hi, I'm Dave lay, and my family loves toast. Back in the day, before all this podcast money rolled in, I had a two slice toaster, and me and my family were just miserable. By the time the third and fourth piece of bread was toasted, the first and second pieces were already cold. And who needs that crap? Am I right? Get a four slice toaster, and your breakfast will be a thousand times better. The four slice toaster is also perfect for bagels, english muffins, frozen waffles, pop tarts. The list goes on and on. The four slice toaster, available wherever quality small kitchen appliances are sold. Back to you guys in the studio.

>> Mike: A little bit of housekeeping while Darren's reading his. Our Twitter. What do you call it now? X. Twitter.

>> Darin: X.

>> Mike: That thing.

>> Darin: Yeah. Is assessed.

>> Mike: I mean, we still have an account there. We're shutting it down or whatever you.

>> Darin: Call it, a mike. God love him, every week posts videos to Facebook, to Instagram. now we're on threads, but he would post them.

>> Mike: And Twitter.

>> Darin: And the Tiktoks.

>> Mike: And YouTube.

>> Darin: Yes. And every time I would see an irritable death center post, I would like it and retweet it. Re exit. I would re x the. Tweet. The X. And, yeah, the thing. Yeah, I'm the only one.

>> Mike: Yeah, I was only one.

>> Darin: I'm the only person who ever acknowledged us, on Twitter occasionally.

>> Mike: What? Yeah, what's the point? And, hey, what happened? If. And if you spend any amount of time on X, you'll quickly realize that.

>> Darin: You shouldn't be, what am I doing on here?

>> Mike: Yeah, why am I here?

>> Darin: I joined Twitter. Was it twelve years ago, 14 years ago, something like that. And I was really trying to make a name for myself. I'm still on there. Darren loves Bacon. And I wasn't hugely successful. I was moderately successful. And I. I gained a, small but loyal following. And, I would get a decent amount of stars or likes or people who would come on there and look for what I was doing. And all of my followers on Twitter X are dead. I, sadly, I think they've all passed away because nobody pays one damn piece of attention on X or X or Twitter. Twit. Twit. X.

>> Mike: When you fly on a plane.

>> Darin: On a plane.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Thank you. And they bring you a snack. They bring you what are called Biscoff cookies. And I absolutely love Biscoff cookies. Okay. The last time we flew, when we.

>> Mike: Had our horrible flight, and it was on the delta.

>> Darin: It was on delta.

>> Mike: Oh, they got good ones.

>> Darin: Yes. Well, the last time we flew Delta, they did not have snacks. But Libby and I flew on american airlines, and we got biscoff cookies going to Dallas. We had biscoff cookies going to Reno, and then we had Biscoff cookies coming back. This is how good my wife is. My wife is adorable, and I love her dearly. She saved her biscoff cookies. She didn't want them when we were on the flight. And when we got home after our week long trip to California and Lake Tahoe and Yosemite National Park, Libby says, honey, I saved all my biscoff cookies, and you can have them if you want them.

>> Mike: Well, that's nice.

>> Darin: Are you kidding me? I was like, absolutely. Thank you. So here's the thing. She said, I have four packages of biscoff cookies, and I remember eating three of them, and I couldn't find the fourth pack of biscoff cookies. I don't know where they went. Okay, now I am taking out the trash. Taking the trash out, and I roll it to the end of the driveway, and something falls out. And I pick it up, and it's a package of biscoff cookies. I don't know how they got on top of the trash. I don't know how just the package of biscoff cookies fell.

>> Mike: Yeah, but, but they were sealed.

>> Darin: They were sealed. This is that Seinfeld episode.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Was that above the line? Yeah, it was a blow line. That's trash, right? It didn't have anything on it.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: It was sealed. I kept it, and I went in the house, and I devoured these biscoff cookies. Cause I am a filthy, disgusting, slob pig when it comes to these biscoff cookies. I love them.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But, yeah, I ate cookies that were in the trash that had fallen out into the road.

>> Mike: I fully.

>> Darin: The road, Mike. I almost died.

>> Mike: And I'm like, okay, I fully support that.

>> Darin: Me eat cookie.

>> Mike: Yeah. The time has come for this cookie. I'll help you out here.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: So you don't feel as disgusting. I got a pizza out of the oven once in college.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: In my apartment in college.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And it fell cheese down.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: On the floor in the kitchen.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: I scooped it up, flipped. It over on the plate and ate it.

>> Darin: Dude, dust it off.

>> Mike: Well, how do you dust off a cheese pizza? Just every once in a while I'd pick a hair out. In my defense, uh-huh. I did come back and wipe the grease and stuff off the floor later because I didn't want to slip and fall.

>> Darin: Did you live in this apartment by yourself?

>> Mike: Yes. then that's not that bad.

>> Darin: It's your.

>> Mike: It's my filth. And he's going right back in me.

>> Darin: Exactly. Anything that that pizza fell in was already on you at some time.

>> Mike: That's true. That's true. That's how I justified it to myself.

>> Darin: No harm, no foul.

>> Mike: But I always think of that whenever I'm about to do something disgusting. I think, is this worse than or better than eating a pizza off face.

>> Darin: Down floor cheese pizza?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I think a biscoff cookie, wrapped.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Falling off the top of the trash.

>> Darin: I don't know how it got in the trash.

>> Mike: Practically pre sanitized at that point. It's. There's nothing wrong with it at all.

>> Darin: Well, it's almost like the cookie was talking to me. It was in the trash.

>> Mike: It wanted you to know.

>> Darin: It jumped out on its own.

>> Mike: It did a toy story.

>> Darin: It did. Buzz lightyear through the cookies, out, said.

>> Mike: This dude here, you have at him.

>> Darin: But I was, I was looking around the house like she said. She had four packages of cookies, and I've only had three.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Mmm.

>> Mike: Mmm. Mmm. M mmm.

>> Dave: This portion of irritable dad syndrome is brought to you by Lotus Biscoff cookies. Hi, I'm Dave Lay, and I love traveling. It seems like every couple of months I get the urge to visit people and places anywhere on this great planet. And that's why I'm a big fan of Lotus Biscoff cookies. Whenever I'm flying and the stewardess asks if I want a snack, I say, hell yeah, I want a snack. And make that snack. A pack of Lotus biscoff cookies. Since 1932, Lotus Biscoff cookies have been made with all natural ingredients. They're crunchy, and that caramelized flavor has made them the preferred choice of every major airline that serves snacks. Lotus Biscoff cookies.

>> Mike: Mmm.

>> Dave: Now those are some good cookies. Back to you guys in the studio.

>> Darin: I was gonna ask you a question.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Your car has the thing on the, remote?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. When you lock your car, do you always lock it with the beep? Beep with the remote, or do you have to? You have to?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. Why do you. I'm not starting to start with you. Why do you have to?

>> Mike: Oh, you're starting.

>> Darin: Why do you have to?

>> Mike: Because. Because of the terminator and I don't trust technology.

>> Darin: The terminator. Now, the terminator always locks the Bess's car.

>> Mike: And I'd venture to say your son's car. Have the latest. Is it is it, is his car a push putting? Pushed. You push the button. Push button to turn it on. No, no, he actually uses the key.

>> Darin: No, Libby's uses the push button. Jacob has a key.

>> Mike: Okay, so Libby's car and Bess's car have the latest and greatest in key technology.

>> Darin: I wouldn't call it the greatest.

>> Mike: Listen to me. They have the latest and greatest thing. It sucks. developed by NASA.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: All right.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Somehow this thing detects whether the key is in the car or nothing. If you really test it. If you really test it, leave your keys in there and leave it for hours. It will not lock.

>> Darin: No, you can't lock the car.

>> Mike: Take your keys out and don't lock it, and go in the house and come back out ten minutes later. It's locked. Yes. Science. I know that. Intuitively. I know that. Cause that's what Mykea does. And Mykea, we've said before, is not the latest and greatest in technology. no, I know this. However, when I'm in target and I'm walking away from the car, I will actually hear it lock. But if it doesn't beep, I stand there.

>> Mike: Even if it's raining and go at it until it actually honks. Honks.

>> Darin: Once again, you and Libby have something in common that's uncommon with me. Because when I get out of the car, I press the lock on the door.

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Darin: And then I close it.

>> Mike: Okay. Go analog on it.

>> Darin: Like the caveman.

>> Mike: I listen to cds and I push.

>> Darin: I do listen to cds.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: The car is locked.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. And yet still Libby and Jacob. my mom, too, will say, did you lock the car? I said, yes.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Are you sure? yes, I am.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Did you check it? Yes, I. Yes, I did. And this is me being it. I won't beep it. I won't do it. I won't do that because I want to see how many times they'll start twitching. Are you sure you like? Yeah, I'm positive.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Because my car. My Honda cr v. Yeah. You lock it on the side of the door.

>> Mike: Shake.

>> Darin: It locks all four doors and the trunk.

>> Mike: Okay, well, that's. Yeah.

>> Darin: It won't open because it's locked. Right. Did you lock it?

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: Are you sure? Yeah, yeah. Really? It's locked. I'm like, go try it.

>> Mike: Yeah, just put it.

>> Darin: Put your hand on the door. Try and get in my car. I dare you. I need to. I need. Because that's petty.

>> Mike: It's not petty. It's science.

>> Darin: It's science.

>> Mike: It is.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: Yes. Science. Bess's car will detect she was getting into it because I thought it was an area thing.

>> Darin: Mm

>> Mike: It. She was halfway in the car with her purse that had the key in it out. And I'm in there trying to start the car because it's hot. I want to get the air conditioning going.

>> Darin: Mm

>> Mike: And I just said, can you swing your purse inside the car? And she does, and then it starts. I mean, that's how.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: That's amazing.

>> Darin: I hate that. I. I want a key. And when I buy my next car, it's gonna have a key.

>> Mike: It probably does have a key. Hers has a hidden key that I had to use once.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Because her fob died.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: And it's got, like, a little thing. You push a button, it's like a switchblade.

>> Darin: Yes, but where's the keyhole?

>> Mike: There's a keyhole in all of the locks outside. On the inside, there's no.

>> Darin: Open the door. But how do you start?

>> Mike: There's no key hole on the inside that I know of.

>> Darin: For the engine that I know of. Right.

>> Mike: But it tells you, put the fob, right on the start button and push the start button.

>> Darin: See, I don't like that.

>> Mike: Yeah, there's a little emergency thing. Cracked it.

>> Darin: When did you or. And this is for all you people out there. All y'all you people. When did you people ever tell me, when you ever said, I can't get this key to work. Look, if it's the proper key, it's always gonna open the door. Okay? I don't know why they said, ah, we need to make this key keyless easier.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, let's.

>> Darin: Let's go keyless. There's no reason to go keyless.

>> Mike: Yeah. I.

>> Darin: Whatsoever.

>> Mike: I'm a fan of keyless.

>> Darin: I don't care. There. There was no logical reason to get rid of the key. They're not saving people any time. They're not making life easier. My taxes haven't gone down since we went keyless.

>> Mike: Well, there's also no real reason to make the seat go vv m instead of. But they did.

>> Darin: You're gonna break the seat. How do you break a seat? I love it you mentioned science. You two are just dumbing a bag of hammers. Jacob has started watching breaking bad.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: We're also currently watching this is us. And I know you've never watched this. We are burning through this is us so damn fast, it'll make your head spin. We started.

>> Mike: This is us.

>> Darin: Mandy Moore, Mila over Rocky Balboa's son in Rocky three.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: He plays the dad.

>> Mike: Balboa, is it Seth? I don't know.

>> Darin: What's Rocky junior's name? I don't remember. His son's.

>> Mike: John.

>> Darin: Yeah. John St. Alone. John Stallone Juniore. Yeah, we started watching that, and the boys like, what is the show? And they're like, I'm not crying. You're crying. And we are burning through that so fast. we're already in season four, episode five, I think.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: But when we're not watching that, Libby, Jacob and I will watch breaking bad, and we, you know, we got through the bathtub scene.

>> Mike: Okay. Okay.

>> Darin: We just got through the scene that we talked about last week. Would you get off my ass? Can you do that for me just this time? I'd appreciate it.

>> Mike: Yeah, I really would. I really would.

>> Darin: And, oh, my God. It was like when I watched the fugitive with Jacob, right? And now I'm watching Breaking Bad with him, and he's like, oh. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm like, dude, this is not.

>> Mike: You have no idea.

>> Darin: No clue.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: What lies ahead.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: My childhood. And I strongly recommend when your child is of age, watch Breaking Bad again, because this will be my third time around watching Breaking Bad.

>> Mike: Mmm. And m. You've got the barrel. You guys watch.

>> Darin: I do have the know we're watching it on Netflix because it's easier.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: When it goes off in Netflix, it'll go to one of the other streaming services, probably. But I'll always have it on the barrel.

>> Mike: Yeah. So the barrel has all the commentary, too.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Ah.

>> Darin: yes.

>> Mike: That is golden. And it's. They'd run the commentary like we run our podcast.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: The first few commentaries are like, I guess people like commentaries. I'm gonna talk about baking cookies. And then as the seasons go, they get more and more professional until you get near, you know, like, from season three on, it's really, really good. You have, Bryan, Cranston will come in on the episodes that he directs.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And he'll point out, like, things that are behind things. Like, you can't see it, but this is what's happening over here.

>> Darin: And, well, see, that's what I miss about dvd's, because we used to rent dvd's at, blockbuster.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And when they would come in, they would have director commentary or audio commentary for somebody. And I'm telling you, two of the greatest audio commentaries. I'm gonna expand on this. Any of the Christopher guest movies best, in show almighty wind, waiting for Guffman. All those had amazing audio commentaries from Christopher guest.

>> Mike: And, with the eyebrows, m.

>> Darin: Regan's Morgan Freeman. Yeah. That guy with the eyebrows from Eugene Levy. Eugene Levy. Those audio commentaries were amazing. And they were just as good as the movie. Now, there was a Disney movie out years ago called Brother Bearer. Okay. Bob and Doug McKenzie from SCTV network, were the two moose. Okay. Ah, hey, you know what's going on? Cause the bear is over there and I guess we got, you know.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And they're hilarious.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: The two moose, do the audio commentary and oh my God, I'm about to piss myself because they're talking about how cold it was the day they shot this scene. And man, my antlers were itching that day. They were doing it in full moose character.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: About the treatment that they had on set while making brother bear.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And it was so hilarious. But the best audio commentary out there is weird Al Yankovic on UHF. Yeah. He's like, we shut this on 1469 Sandy street in Phoenix, Arizona. And, and Jay Levy, the director, he's like, how do you, how do you remember all this stuff? And weird Al just had just a fountain of knowledge. And this is this and this is that. And bam, bam, bam Bamdez. And it's really, really, if you have the dvd for UHF, listen to the audio commentary on that.

>> Mike: I never pass up an opportunity to bring up u two on this podcast. Yes, I will say that on the. And you, you'll appreciate this, the all that you can't leave behind tour, the elevation tour they released. the dvd was the Boston show.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: On the special things, special features. On the second dvd, there is a, I think they do it for seven of the songs. They have the. What's going on inside the mixing room.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: During the show. Oh, and you're hearing what the director is yelling to the crew and the band.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And it is absolutely hilarious. It's awesome. During where the streets have no name. It's just. I'm laughing myself silly because he's losing his mind as they're going. And as it's kicking in, he starts jumping around and go, come on, Larry Gorico. Whoa. he just starts screaming and he's like, bring up the left lights. Bring up the left lights. Whoa. And he just. He loses his mind.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Dave: This portion of our show is brought to you by JD's 24 hours drive thru pawn and gun auto parts, pharmaceutical, adult gift, bait and tackle discount cigarette outlet.

>> Mike: So you're from Johnson city?

>> Darin: Johnson city, Tennessee. I lived there. we moved there in 85 and I lived there to 1999.

>> Mike: So you've. You've been on, like, the highways and the roads there. They have, like, the rest stops. Have you ever been to one of those rest stops that has no plumbing? It's just a. You're sitting on the toilet, if you dare, and it's a pit that it goes down into.

>> Darin: No, I haven't seen that one of those.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: Yeah, no, but when we were in Yosemite, like, every place we went had that.

>> Mike: Okay, so there's.

>> Darin: There's. God, did I miss. I was so excited to get to the airport. They had an actual frickin toilet.

>> Mike: So there's some like that, in the bowels of Ohio where. Where I come from.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And different areas. You go in there and they have a unique smell to them.

>> Darin: Yeah. Oh, do they?

>> Mike: It's feces. Elevated.

>> Mike: It's another level of feces.

>> Darin: And then. And you can't smell it without hearing the flies.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Whenever you smell that, you.

>> Mike: Exactly. And you actually. I usually get a little concerned that a part of it I'm going to take with me. Like, it's not going to completely leave me. It's going to be stuck in my.

>> Darin: Lungs, absorb into your soul and that.

>> Mike: If anybody lights anything. Uh-huh. Something could catch fire.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I let a fart about three minutes ago. It smells exactly like one of those rest areas.

>> Darin: This is gross, but I've been holding one in the hole since we started. That's why I'm kind of talking the.

>> Mike: Way I'm over here. Basking.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It's like. Like a turkey baster.

>> Darin: At the beginning of the show, I was talking about how there were, Over the years, there have been some pranks that I've played and there are some jokes that I've made that seriously pissed people off. And I'm gonna tell two stories tonight.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And I'm, gonna have you choose which one I tell first.

>> Mike: Me.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: There was the poll I put in my boss's office.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Or there was the time I wouldn't stop calling a guy Carl.

>> Mike: Okay, I really want to hear the Carl, but tell the poll one first.

>> Darin: Okay. When I worked at my first tv station in Johnson city, Tennessee, I was doing promotions, and I'm not going to give my boss his name.

>> Mike: Harold.

>> Darin: No, a female. So we were all, I had an editing bay where I edited on what's called, avid, the avid technology. And I was in there editing some commercials, and the production assistants and the directors, a lot of them would come back in because I'm one of the cool guys. Yeah, people love coming in and sitting and chatting with me. So there's three or four people in my, office, in my editing bay. And one of the directors had gotten into a fight at a bar the night before, and he had a shiner, a black eye.

>> Mike: Okay, okay.

>> Darin: My boss, a female, comes in, and for the record, she started this, okay? She looked at, my director friend, and she says, hey, I see you got a black eye. Were you in a fight at a strip bar last night or something? And he, and he.

>> Mike: It's a very specific question.

>> Darin: He said, yeah, I went to the strip bar because I was looking for you.

>> Mike: Okay, well, all right. Okay.

>> Darin: And then I thought, could I make this worse? I thought, yes. I said, can you imagine her at a strip bar? People like, hey, move away from the pole. We can't see you. Cause she's not skinny, okay, but she was thin.

>> Mike: All my hr alarms are going off right now. All of them.

>> Darin: But when I said, move away from the pole, we can't see you. Oh, God, did that get a laugh? And I don't think she liked that very much. She goes, okay, okay, okay, okay. Again, she started it, okay. And then she's like, okay, I gotta go. And she left. This was an opportunity where I could have just let things go or I could have made things worse. And what did I do? I made things worse.

>> Mike: There you go.

>> Darin: I called up a buddy of mine at the station. I said, hey, I think we ought to put a poll in her office. And he said, absolutely. So the news is going on. The 06:00 evening news is going on. We go into the studio and walk into where they store all the lights and stuff, and there's a bunch of metal poles there where they used for what's called the grid. M he grabbed one in the pole I grabbed another end of the pole, this ten foot long pole. We walk through the studio.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: While they're doing the 06:00 news, and the weather guy gives us a. What are you.

>> Mike: What?

>> Darin: The what? You know, the camera people turn and look, and we're like, hi. Give them a wave.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And we go into her office after hours.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And we take one of the tiles out of the ceiling and we put a pole in her office.

>> Mike: Okay. This is, the next morning. Yeah.

>> Darin: I pull into work and my friend Natasha is standing out on the back dock waiting for me. And she said, you do not want to go in there.

>> Mike: She didn't think it was that funny.

>> Darin: She did not think it was funny at all.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: At all.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And my buddy was already in there getting, what's referred to as a good talking to. We got our asses handed to us.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: I went in, and she was not happy. I had to promise I would never, do it again.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I had to remove the pole. I had to replace the ceiling tile.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And we vacuumed up the carpet where we did that, and we promised never to do that again. And nobody spoke about this.

>> Mike: Did you say, in my defense, I thought it was funny.

>> Darin: I wish.

>> Mike: It's perfect opportunity.

>> Darin: I wish I had, no.

>> Mike: No, I didn't.

>> Darin: But I. Weeks and weeks later, one of the higher ups, higher than my boss, had said something to us about how some people in the building need to learn how to take a joke. Anyway, I apologize profusely.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And, learned my lesson. And I thought, I do need to be more professional.

>> Mike: Did you giggle at all when you were apologizing?

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Oh, my God. She. I was scared to death.

>> Mike: Okay. I really think you were gonna be fine.

>> Darin: I thought this was my last day at the tv station.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And I did learn my lesson.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I realized that, yes. She, my, my boss.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And like, on the office, it's like, look, you know, you need to respect me.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: And I should have paid more respect.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: So I learned my lesson.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And I never did that again. Now, when I worked at Winn Dixie, I used to work at a grocery store. This was in high school. And then the first couple years that I was in college, and we were all famous for calling people something that's not their name. M. It's not so much a nickname. It was just we'd give people a different name. Every truck driver, every single truck driver who ever made a delivery to Winn Dixie. We called him Will.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And he would call us Will.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Hey, Will, how's it going? Pretty good, Will. How are you?

>> Mike: Good, good.

>> Darin: Our. Our manager called the truck driver's will. Our produce people called the truck driver Will. Everybody was Will. Okay. I used to have a. An assistant manager there named Oscar or, named Tony, but I called him Oscar. And he would call me Oscar. And then there was a guy, who worked there named Chester. He called everybody neighbor. So we would do that all the time.

>> Mike: You guys ever had to fill out a police report? This would be not good.

>> Darin: So we had a guy, a new person. Name is Bob. Okay? And I learned this from David Letterman, okay? David Letterman would call Anton Fig. Was always Anton Zipp or buddy rich junior. He rarely ever called him Anton Fig. He always called him Anton Zip. Okay. And then he was talking about Jimmy Fallon. One time. He called him, Lonnie Donegan. Okay. You know?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I thought that was funny. So this guy named Bob works there, and I called him Carl.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And then the next, I saw him. Hey, Carl, how's it going? He says, my name's not Carl. My name is Bob. I said, okay. Third day, I called him Carl. And he corrects me again. My name isn't Carl. My name is Bob. Yeah, okay. Fourth day, same thing. Fifth day, same thing. 6th day.

>> Mike: You'd think you get kid catching.

>> Darin: I would have caught on. Well, I knew, but did I care? No, I didn't care. I thought it was funny.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And he's like, look, you're gonna stop calling me Carl, okay? I'm like, whatever you say, Carl.

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Darin: I come out of work one night, the store closed.

>> Mike: I see you get a two by four up the side of your head.

>> Darin: He brought, like, a dozen friends or something.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: They're out in the parking lot. They have formed this giant circle around my car. Like Michael Jackson in the video.

>> Mike: Yeah, right. Yeah.

>> Darin: And he's like, we're stopping this right now. You are gonna stop calling me Carl, or I'm gonna beat your,

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Darin: Right here, right now.

>> Mike: Oh, my lord. You had to have called him Carl Wart. He said, carl, what are you talking about?

>> Darin: I said, okay, all right. I'm not gonna call you Carl anymore. Yeah, Bob.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I'm not gonna do it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Everybody watching. I'm not gonna get my ass kicked because I won't stop. I'm gonna stop calling him Carl. His name.

>> Mike: And none of them laughed. None of them.

>> Darin: They were all. They were all looking like tonight. Tonight that we lose Darren. Ok. Ok. And so I never called him Carl again.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: The funny part about this story, my buddy Adam got transferred to a different Winn Dixie, where Oscar. Tony.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Oscar went and became manager at another Winn Dixie, and Adam followed him to that store. And so Adam worked at a completely different Winn Dixie. And then Bob.

>> Mike: Carl. Carl. Yeah.

>> Darin: Bob also got transferred to the store, and when he got there, every single person who worked there called him Carl. Now, listen, I doubt seriously that Bob is listening. And Bob, if you're listening, I'm going to apologize. You said it I don't know how many times.

>> Darin: And I should have just caught on and figured out that you didn't like it for whatever reason. And I apologize if I offended you for I pissed you off. And he told me I had so many opportunities to stop doing this, but did he need to get that pissed about it?

>> Mike: Yeah. I mean, I wasn't.

>> Darin: Hey, face. I wasn't calling him anything. Despairing. I wasn't, I wasn't mean.

>> Mike: Yeah, you didn't call him a hot Carl. You called him Carl.

>> Darin: I was just annoying.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I was so annoying. I know. You're like, God, Darren. Annoying.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I was so annoying.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. So you ever really pissed somebody off, Mike?

>> Mike: Let me think. If I piss somebody off to that.

>> Darin: Degree, I mean, he was going to, he was going to drag me from one end of the parking lot to another. He studied karate. Oh, he was in a stance. Karate. Ah, karate.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: He was going to whoop and then wham.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: He was going to give me the old one, too.

>> Mike: Put the whomp on you.

>> Darin: There was going to be two hits. He was going to hit me and I was going to hit the ground.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. I mean, Bob, again, if you're listening, I'm sorry. And I'm not giving the guy's last name. I don't remember his last name.

>> Mike: See, that's the curse of being funny. God, I was annoying you out there listening. You draw your own conclusions of where you think any of this funny at all. But we're having a blast.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: It's the curse of it is you'll be in situations that clearly are not calling for humor.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: But you'll think, man, it'd be funny if somebody would just say this, and then you gotta weigh your options.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Am I gonna be the guy to say this thing? And I think, tell me if I'm wrong.

>> Darin: Huh?

>> Mike: When you're in your twenties, which is probably what you were, the Winn Dixie. That's when you. Oh, yeah, I'm absolutely gonna say that thing.

>> Darin: I was saying it cuz I'm hilarious.

>> Mike: I can't wait. You'll be in situations. I can't wait till I think of something crazy and silly and stupid to say. Boom, there it hits. And then you kind of gain control of yourself as you go through life.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: I'm starting to hit that age again where I'll just say the thing. Yeah. Where I want to say the stupid thing to see how many people I can get to either gasp or laugh.

>> Darin: I mean, it's like he was. I knew I was pissing him off and I just kept going. Now I feel like, no, you're not.

>> Mike: It's like the story, the Sam story I told a few weeks ago. It was clear to everyone involved that this was not, being viewed at in a kind way by the person. But he just kept doing it. That was hilarious. Each time he did it was funnier than last. Even after it got serious, I was just praying in turn, please hit the ground and say silence one more time. Yeah. So I wonder how many wars have started. I don't know because of something like that.

>> Darin: But can you imagine, like, if the cops had showed up to the parking lot, or like, the next day, if my general manager asks, Darren, how come both of your arms are broken? I'm like, well, I wouldn't stop calling Bob Carl. Right.

>> Mike: The further you take it, the funnier it gets people. More people need to recognize this. Yeah.

>> Darin: Now I feel bad that I'm drenching it up 40 years later.

>> Mike: No, you should feel bad that you eventually stopped.

>> Darin: I, should have. Well, I did think it was funny when he went to the other store. And then everybody, everybody all.

>> Mike: Did you get any follow up? Did they say anything about how he reacted?

>> Darin: he was not happy.

>> Mike: Okay. Yeah. So there's a guy, I mean, all.

>> Darin: The baggers, all the stock crew, all the guys in the produce for it. I think even the guys in the meat department. Are you the new guy, Carl?

>> Mike: I think I've told this story on here before, but nobody listens. Anyway, I'll tell it again. I m used to work at an oil refinery, and I'm not gonna use the guy's actual name, right. Because I'm pretty sure he still works there. I'll just say Lonnie Stevens.

>> Darin: Lonnie Donegan.

>> Mike: Let's just say his name is Lonnie Stevens.

>> Darin: Okay. Lonnie.

>> Mike: Lonnie. So I was in the. The labor crew, and so we would do labor, you know, as one does.

>> Darin: As one does when they're in the labor.

>> Mike: And then we would take breaks where the operators took their breaks. so we were the lowest of the low. And the refinery, you had the labor people, which was us.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Then you had the first year operators, second year operators, senior operators. Then you go up to the engineers and beyond. So we were. We were the guys where if you said, hey, I stepped in some crap out in the parking lot, you, go clean it up.

>> Darin: Right?

>> Mike: I had to go clean it up.

>> Darin: Yep.

>> Mike: And there was one of the operators, Lonnie Stevens. Lonnie Stevens was a stickler for the rules. You get a 15 minutes break.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And no more, no less. And no more, no less. You, go here to get your coke. You go here to smoke your cigarette, if you smoke, and you go here to take your break, what are you doing over there? Are you taking a break? Because you're not supposed to be taking your break right now. You're supposed to be doing. That was Lonnie Stevens.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Okay. Stickler for the rules. And he would do that to everybody, even the senior operators. The only people he wouldn't do that to were the engineers.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: At this place, when an engineer walked in the room, it was. You remember in aliens, the movie aliens, when the aliens would show up, suddenly everyone's demeanor changed. Well, yeah.

>> Darin: They had in their pants, and they were running.

>> Mike: Yeah. Ah, it didn't matter what was happening.

>> Darin: Hey, what happened?

>> Mike: They're playing with Ripley's cat, or they're talking to newt about her family that left her in the laundry vent.

>> Darin: They're like, guys, I think we have a situation.

>> Mike: Yeah. When an alien walked in the room, that's when Hudson starts losing his game over. Mandy Hicks gets that serious, man. Vasquez. Yeah, Vasquez turns around, you know, let's get up. You know, their demeanor changed.

>> Darin: God, I had a friend in high school who. It was one of those things. Yeah. he came over, man. Game over his girlfriend. It drove her crazy when he would do that, but, yeah, he knew I thought it was funny, so he kept saying, game over, man. You lead the troops. Game overdose.

>> Mike: So that's how this place was when an engineer walked in the room. So, he, Lonnie Stevens, had nothing on the engineers, but everybody below an engineer. Uh-huh. He felt like he was in control of.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So we had a stencil made up. Lonnie Stevens now on everyone's locker, or you had. Everyone had a locker. We didn't. The laborers didn't know. but all the lockers had everybody's name stenciled. So Lonnie Stevens had his name. Instant Lonnie Stevens.

>> Darin: Lonnie Stencil. Yeah.

>> Mike: We took that stencil.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: Now, as labor, we were all over the refinery. This place was huge, right? Everyone used trucks to get around. It was like a small city.

>> Darin: Okay?

>> Mike: We put Lonnie Stevens name on reactors, on storage tanks, on other trucks. This is exactly what I wanted. in the mess hall where we would eat, in the parking lot, on spaces over to the engineering building, we would find areas where we could just put it. Lonnie Stevens's name was everywhere. I was there for three years during the summers.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And every summer, we would go and find is. We would have contest who could come with the most creative place to put Lonnie's name. And it pissed him off so much. He had a mustache, by the way. It pissed him off so much. Horsey does. It pissed him off so much because he's such a rule stickler. And then the engineers.

>> Darin: You're wasting stencil.

>> Mike: Yeah. every once in while, the engineers would come in. Remember aliens? You know, they'd walk in there, Lonnie Stevens here. And Lottie. Yeah. He's like, why is your name in the parking lot? And Lonnie, his face would go blood red. He would have not. And we would all watch, and we would do what you're doing. We would laugh. Everyone. All of them laughed their. Laughed themselves silly.

>> Darin: Huh?

>> Mike: Which meant nobody knew who did it. Of course, me and, like, a few other people were the ones who did it.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: It was the gift that never stopped giving. That was all. Mostly in the first year. In my third year there, Lonnie was still there. They'd come back in. Hey, Lonnie, what's going on? And we would go out to work on something.

>> Darin: Lonnie.

>> Mike: And there'd be a pipe. Lonnie Stevens.

>> Darin: You know, fun fact about Lonnie Stevens is when he left the band, his brother, Donnie Stevens, filled in. And then his other brother, Ronnie Stevens.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Is lead singer at 38 special.

>> Mike: Yeah. Just a different letter. But it just every once while, if I remember feeling down, I, It makes me feel a little bit better to think somewhere. And I know he tried to get rid of them as he found them. I know he hasn't found them all. He can't have. I'll tell you, anybody who knows what refinery I'm talking about, you can figure it out. There's not two together. There's not that many in the northern area.

>> Darin: Refinery Mico.

>> Mike: there are massive storage tanks that you can see from the highway.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: They hold hundreds of thousands of gallons of stuff.

>> Darin: Stuff. Lonnie, Lonnie.

>> Mike: Lonnie Stevens. His name is on, I think, all of them.

>> Darin: Once again, you and I share the.

>> Mike: Same brain, and that's like an investment. It's just like when the people called him Carl at the other place. You invested in that?

>> Darin: Oh, yeah.

>> Mike: Payoff. And you got it later. It's like, ah. beautiful. We're 20 plus years. I'm sure if Lonnie hasn't retired yet, he's close to retiring. I guarantee you, within the past few years, an engineer has come up to him. Lonnie, why is your name on the underside of the toilet in the engineering building?

>> Darin: That's brilliant. Oh, I wish I had done that. Just put Carl everywhere.

>> Mike: Wonder if you ever hated a Carl's junior. Do you think I'd piss him off?

>> Darin: In Johnson city, they called it Hardee's.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: It didn't turn into Carl's junior until like five or six years.

>> Mike: Are those the same?

>> Darin: Yeah. Hardee's and Carl's junior are the same thing.

>> Mike: Really?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I did not know that.

>> Darin: I don't understand. The management is like, you know what? We need different name for half of our restaurants.

>> Mike: That's how we keep, like, Duncan is called Duncan now. Just Duncan. Yeah, just Duncan.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: But then they say dd up at the top. Double D. Right. So I'm all confused of what's going on in that building, by the way.

>> Darin: Yeah. Okay.

>> Mike: Our local dunkin.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: Yeah, Duncan, it sounds weird. Say our local dunkin donuts.

>> Darin: Well, if you say Dunkin donuts, it doesn't sound weird at all. You just say Duncan.

>> Mike: There is an, take cream off.

>> Darin: It's just, hey, you want to go get to go to Krispy?

>> Mike: I'm a. I'm a regular there. I go there all the time. Yeah, every morning, way too much. They know me like donut.

>> Darin: You get a black coffee and a bottle of water.

>> Mike: I've changed up a little bit.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: I bring my own water now.

>> Darin: Finally.

>> Mike: Cut that out.

>> Darin: My God. You figured out that you weren't gonna be able to send a kid to college.

>> Mike: And I also get cream and sugar in my coffee.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And I have to. Sometimes I don't get a Donuthenne.

>> Darin: Mm

>> Mike: but there was this. There's this lady that works there that's always scowling at me.

>> Darin: Can't imagine why.

>> Mike: She stands by the food area. And then when I pull up, if she happens to be in there, she just scowls at me.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Today I had a day off. I went in there. I'm m gonna get some donut. I don't like to order donuts from the drive through because you can't see them.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: You know, I like to.

>> Darin: I want that one. No, no. Yeah, the one on that.

>> Mike: The, one I'm pointing at.

>> Darin: Up, over.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Come on, Linda. Yeah, that one.

>> Mike: Yeah. Do you know what fingers mean, what this means?

>> Darin: Oh, she knows what a finger means. I don't. I don't know what that means. I'm sorry, Linda.

>> Mike: This went. This went sideways.

>> Darin: Lonnie Stevens.

>> Mike: She was the person to give me donuts.

>> Darin: Mm

>> Mike: And so she was all business, and I said, I'd like a coffee with, hot or iced?

>> Darin: Oh. Oh, snail.

>> Mike: Yeah, the coffee Nazi. Yeah. She's like. I was like, hot. And, she said, donuts? Yes.

>> Darin: I want those hot, too.

>> Mike: I'd like six.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: She has the box, like, right there. She whipped it out, one fluid motion.

>> Darin: Oh, damn.

>> Mike: Linda, I'd like the cake. This one. And it wasn't the cake. It was next to the cake. I said, no, the cake. The plain cake. One of my kids likes plain cake donuts.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: I don't understand that. yeah, it's like getting a water flavored icy. I don't get it.

>> Darin: That's like getting a piece of pizza without cheese or sauce.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: It's just bread.

>> Mike: It's bread. Yeah. Give me a triangle piece of bread.

>> Darin: Yeah, I'd like a round piece of bread, please.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And actually, can I. Do you have any bagels in there?

>> Mike: Yeah. She was not happy with me at all. yeah. Story goes nowhere. It's just. It's just this woman has worked there for at least five years at this point, since they opened, she's always been scowling at me from the food. This is our first chance to actually interact, and it went about as much as well as I thought it would go.

>> Darin: What does she have against you?

>> Mike: I don't know.

>> Darin: You're a paying customer.

>> Mike: Maybe I have no hair. She's mad at that.

>> Darin: I mean, I I don't know. Okay. You don't come off to me as an ass.

>> Mike: I've been told that. I did in college. My, back in the day.

>> Darin: That was back in the Lonnie Stevens.

>> Mike: Day. Back in the Lonnie Stevens. I was kind of an ass. I did. I messed, with him. yeah. I'll give you the real name after the show.

>> Darin: I'm gonna say one more thing, and then we've got to wrap this up, because I don't know that we can have any more fun than we're having tonight.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: A year ago, maybe two years ago, I can't remember how long. We did an episode called cicadas banging on the Internet.

>> Mike: Oh, yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: And I found it was on the southern culture on the skids website, and someone had posted a picture of two cicadas getting it on, and I commented that, hey, look there. Two consenting adult cicadas having fornication.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And you shouldn't be posting pictures of them on the Internet, because now you've turned them into cicada porn. Right. They're just mining their own business. Yeah. Right. Well, it happened again. I saw, a woman who I'm Facebook friends with posted pictures, fiddler crabs mating on top of oysters. And so now it's like, now we got fiddler crabs banging on the Internet.

>> Mike: Fiddler on the roof. Yeah.

>> Darin: And they didn't ask for that. No, they're just one.

>> Mike: Neither did the oyster one.

>> Darin: No. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's, like, interspecial.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: It's like one fiddler crab sees a really hot fiddler crab, says, I got to get a piece of that. Hello. And then m. Yeah, yeah. And then someone just takes their picture and posts it on the Internet. Yeah, I think that's wrong.

>> Mike: Yeah, I do. I agree.

>> Darin: And that story goes nowhere.

>> Mike: Perfect microcosm of this show.

>> Darin: You know who would be against that?

>> Mike: Who?

>> Darin: Lonnie Stevens.

>> Mike: Lonnie Stevens. Carl, we've got to go.

>> Darin: I want you guys, all y'all, all yin's. I want Yin's to go to irritable dad syndrome.com. if you go to our website, you can become a patron, and you can also go back three or four episodes and listen to our best of volume four. And if you go back another week, you can hear Mike's vacation stories and my vacation stories. We've got a lot of really good episodes on irritable dadsyndrum.com. dot. They're fun. It is. And you know what? The only reason Mike and I do this podcast is because we have so much fun doing it.

>> Mike: Easy for you to say.

>> Darin: Yeah. So I hope you guys enjoy listening to it as much as we enjoy doing it. Take care. Hope to see you next week on irritable dad. Syndrome.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Dave: Irritable dad syndrome is a. Mike Odel Darren Cox production.

>> Darin: I think we left it all on the field, Mike. We left it all on the field, not Karen.

>> Mike: All right, I need to. You need to edit that out because Matt's mom's name is Karen. I don't want to make it sound it wasn't her. I used to be a jerk. I don't know if you know what I used to be. No. And that's when, eminem m came out with the slim shady at around the same time that I was a jerk. It was like a match made. And that was my jam.

>> Darin: Please stand up.

>> Mike: And I did.

>> Darin: What are you doing?

>> Mike: Yes. Two consenting.

>> Darin: They're two consenting adult. Sorry.

>> Mike: These kids today and their. Damn.

>> Darin: I know.

>> Mike: Everything's streaming and plus and x files.

>> Darin: Venmo. It's on Venmo plus. People who listen to the episode when it drops have no idea, nor do they care what they're dropping.

>> Mike: Oh, wait, wait. They're touching. Our purple poles are touching. Look at that.

>> Darin: Our purple poles are touching.

>> Mike: That's like an optical illusion. yes. That looks weird.

>> Darin: I know.

>> Mike: That's it, man.

>> Darin: Game over, man. It's game over.

>> Mike: Bye.