On this week's show, Darin's son broke his wrist, Mike joined a nerd computer game facebook group, the 5/2 rule for mowing your lawn, an update on the bag of dog poop in Mike's tree and Darin wore 2 different deodorants at the same time. Plus, we plug a couple of other podcasts where we're making guest appearances.
Have you ever wondered what happens when we run out of things to talk about? Well, all your questions will be answered this week!
#COCAINEBEAR
#FORRESTGUMP
#RAINMAN
#ULTIMADRAGONS
#DECISIONREEL
#LATESHOW
#STARWARS
#DOGPOOP
#RIGHTGUARD
#GILETTE
On this week's show, Darin's son broke his wrist, Mike joined a nerd computer game facebook group, the 5/2 rule for mowing your lawn, an update on the bag of dog poop in Mike's tree and Darin wore 2 different deodorants at the same time. Plus, we plug a couple of other podcasts where we're making guest appearances.
Have you ever wondered what happens when we run out of things to talk about? Well, all your questions will be answered this week!
#COCAINEBEAR
#FORRESTGUMP
#RAINMAN
#ULTIMADRAGONS
#DECISIONREEL
#LATESHOW
#STARWARS
#DOGPOOP
#RIGHTGUARD
#GILETTE
Episode 138 Transcription
Mike: [00:00:00] I'm getting ready to go live cause I'm gonna forget to do that. Okay.
Darin: And I'm gonna do my very best to not hit the microphone
Mike: tonight. This is episode like that. 1 38. 1 38. Should we kick this dog into nuts and see if it barks?
Darin: What is wrong with you today? Maybe it's cranky because his office bathroom schedule. Oh, I can understand how that would make someone irritable.
Dave: Welcome to irritable Dead syndrome. Save your receipt for a full refund. Gary, your hosts, Mike and Darren.
Mike: Hey, welcome to Irritable dad syndrome. I am Mike. And I'm Darren. We have one Hades of a show for you today. Oh my God. Are you serious? So much stuff happened. Shut up. Yeah. My dog. Mm-hmm. Walks on my face in the middle. Of the GD Night Uhhuh every
Darin: night. And my oldest son broke his wrist, how it happened, and uh, what he said immediately after I went to go pick him up, coming up on this episode of Irritable dad syndrome.
[00:01:00] Welcome yes. To all our loyal listeners and welcome to our new listeners. Hey, by the way, and if you are a new listener, you can go to irritable dad syndrome.com and you can listen to other, uh, like every episode we have is right there on that website, the descriptions
Mike: Exactly. And searchable stuff. Yeah.
Yeah. Like there's cool stuff. Uh, we have a team of artists mm-hmm. That spend minutes on each episode, put together the art that's associated with, and I'm telling you, they don't
Darin: get paid.
Mike: They don't near enough. They work so hard that sometimes they forget to title the episodes
that that happens. Yeah. Go to go to irritable dad syndrome.com. Um, I, A lot of podcasts do this. They talk about how you can reach them and how you can do your stuff. Yeah. At the very beginning. Yeah. And I always found that annoying. Yeah. And I'm sure somewhere right now there's somebody annoyed. Right. But here's the deal, all y'all ain't listening to the whole thing.
No. We gotta get this out. Yeah. And I keep getting asked by people, do you still do the podcast? [00:02:00]
Darin: Yeah. Yes, we do.
Mike: You can't walk more than two feet without running into a computer or an ai. Mm-hmm. Or something from the matrix. Yeah. Which you could inquire. Say, Hey, does irritable dad syndrome exist? Yes. To which it would say, here's the website.
Yes, it does. Here's all the news. Here's all the information. Follow us on Facebook. That's an opportunity. Yeah. You could, we put funny things. It's not all just here. No. It's all just not coming through your ears. Yeah. Into your ears. It's there. We have a YouTube channel mm-hmm. With videos. We're on the
Darin: tv.
Yeah. We are Dayton Public Access.
Mike: Yeah. And that show is on the YouTubes. Yeah. We stream live
Darin: on Twitch. I think what you're trying to say is there's literally so much stuff@irritabledeadcenter.com. Yeah. Didn't make your head spin. It
Mike: w it, it's painful. Yes. Mm-hmm. In a good way.
Darin: How you doing? I'm good. How are you?
Good. How How'd Jacob break his arm? Well be, before we get to that, before that I wanted to mention that graduation is coming up and for everybody out there who's getting ready to graduate high school [00:03:00] or graduate college, uh, just early on, Mike and I would like to, from our heart, congratulate you and, and.
Uh, just praise you on the success that you've had throughout your years of college and or Yeah. High school. But I wanted to say, if you are a university or a high school and you do not have a commencement speaker, Mike and I are available. We are to speak at your high school, to speak at your, we'll even speak at your community college graduation.
Mike: And we have real life experience. We do. What they tell you is when you're in elementary school mm-hmm. They say, man, wait till you get to middle school. Yeah. That's gonna kick your ass. Yes. And you study and you train. It's gonna, and you get there and there's like, okay, you've mastered middle school.
Mm-hmm. Wait till you get to high school that's gonna beat your ass.
Darin: You think 10th grade is hard, sissy wait till you get to
Mike: 12th grade. Yeah. And you get there and they're like, well wait till you graduate. Wait until you
Darin: get to college. Mike and I, we both graduated high school. We both graduated college.
Yeah. We've, we've been, uh, successful in life, in our careers for quite some time. Yeah. In [00:04:00] August, it'll be 30 years
Mike: that I've worked in television. And people can congratulate you on each step. Yes. They, they say, congratulations. And you didn't get outta college. And they say, okay,
Darin: now what? Now what? Yeah. And, and Mike and I know Yeah.
The
Mike: answer to the question. Now what? I know what the answer to that question was in the nineties. Yes. It was Get outta my house. Yeah. And go find a job. Mm-hmm. Now the answer is, I guess you can sleep on the couch in the basement. Exactly. Now it's work from home. But that's not the answer in this house. No, because in this house, the couch over there in the basement is daddy's couch.
Yeah. And ain't nobody, I'm sorry, I, I have no idea what you're
Darin: talking about. I cannot wait to hear your commencement scene. But here's the thing. Well, so if you, that's part it. If you need a commencement speak. Mm-hmm. Okay. If you want Mike and I to speak, give us a call, shoot us an email,
Mike: reach out to us.
Don't a call. I don't want,
Darin: don't wanna talk to you. Reach out to us on our Facebook page or our Instant Graham, or any of the places, okay? And we will be happy to do this if, uh, if money is an issue, if, uh, [00:05:00] you can't afford both of us, we'll throw in two for the price of one. And if we get double booked, Like, he's like, holy crap.
We're both. Then I will speak one place and Mike will speak another place and we'll even get Dave LA to come speak at your high school or your college graduation. Hi, I'm Dave La so yes. Remember graduation coming up, irritable dad syndrome will be your
Mike: convinced speaker, and another option is to have one of us speak and the other one be in the crowd.
Yes. To heckle. Yes. The one speaking. Yes. We'll do that for extra Actually be very half price. I might.
Darin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. My son Jacob, he broke his wrist. Wow, okay. He cracked it. And here's the thing. He did not tell me that he didn't have school the other day. He was outta school for, it was a senior day. He didn't have school.
I didn't know this. Mm-hmm. I had no clue. Okay. So it's like nine, almost nine in the morning. I'm having my coffee before I commute, make my commute into work, which is walk downstairs. I [00:06:00] work from home. Yeah. Okay. Get a call and the second I answer, I can tell that Jacob is hurt. Okay. He is in a bad way. And I'm like, oh, crap.
And he says, dad, I'm out here skating. I have fallen and I think I have hurt my arm. And my f you know, I was, my first thing was, oh God, are you really? Are you okay? And then I'm like, wait, why are you at a skate park? Hey, what happened? Because I thought he skipped school. Yeah. And I was
Mike: instantly, did he fall through a time warp and land back in 1996?
Is that what happened to him?
Darin: Yeah, apparently. Apparently. But I, I was so confused. Mm-hmm. I'm like, why? And he says, I didn't. And he's like, eh, like Peter Griffin. He's like, I didn't have school today. Yeah. And so I'm like, well, where are you? And he tells me where he is at the, this, this skate park. Mm-hmm.
Which is like 20 minutes away. Where is the skate park? There's a skate park in, in, uh, it's like a Hamilton, Fairfield skate park.
Mike: Okay. Yeah. It's a official, it's not just some place. No,
Darin: no, no, no. It's not some [00:07:00] empty pool where all the kids go and shoot up and then they occasionally ride their skateboard.
Yeah. That's where I was raised. So I'm like, okay. I, I'm on my way. Mm-hmm. So I grab my keys, I get my wallet, I call Libby and I tell her, and, and she's starting to panic. And then I call my boss and I tell her that, you know, my kid called, I've gotta go and get him. And I get in the car and I haul ass back outta the driveway.
I'm going mm-hmm. And I pass, uh, the udf, I hang a left and I'm going. And I get stop, get
Mike: some ice cream. I should,
should
Darin: have actually that comes up in the story. Okay. And I'm driving. I'm driving, and then I notice my gas light is on. Oh. I've already passed two gas stations. Yeah. By the time I've noticed that my gas light's on.
Mm-hmm. And I don't know where I'm going to get to this, uh, place I'm following. So you're covering it? Yeah. I'm following GP p s. Just hoping that GP p s is correct. Mm-hmm. I did find a gas station. Okay. And when I got to the gas station, I'm pumping and Jacob calls and Libby's on the line with him. Mm-hmm.
And they're wondering where I am. I'm like, I'm on my way. Um, I mean, I was, I was like [00:08:00] imagining me flagging people down. Yeah. Yeah. I went and I got him and he was sitting in his car. God love him. I pull up next to him, he looks at me, he waves like, hi, dad with, with his good hand. He opens the door and he says, boy, uh, you wanna see the prize, dad?
You wanna see it? His wrist looked like it had an elbow in it. Oh yeah. It was, and it, it hurt like a mammo jamma. Yeah. He was not happy. So I get his backpack and whatever out of his car, put him in my car, and we're driving and the first thing he asks is, do I get ice cream because of this? Do, do you get ice cream because you broke your wrist?
Yes. It's like, okay, I'll take you to get ice cream. You know, I'm worried about his car because, okay. Okay. Here's the thing, and this is where, and, and Jacob might get mad at me because I'm talking about this, but I'm mad at him. He can get
Mike: his own podcast and Yeah. Complain about it.
Darin: He went to this skate park, uh, Monday, on a Monday morning.
Okay. Like around 8:00 AM Yeah. [00:09:00] Ain't nobody there. Mm-hmm. Okay. I asked him if he had on his helmet and he says, oh, I wasn't wearing my helmet because my helmet doesn't fit me. Yeah. And I need to get another one. Okay. All right.
Mike: Ah, yeah. Ah, you know, I hate it when I'm, uh, skydiving and my parachute just doesn't, it's
Darin: just, it's itchy, you know?
Yeah. It's like, I, it's un really uncomfortable. Yeah. Catch a bird on the way down. So me, his mother, his grandmother, his drum instructor, you all these people are like, dude. Yeah. So, I mean, he's very lucky. Cause when he fell, he only broke his wrist if he had hit his head. Gotten a concussion, passed out.
Yeah. I've got a friend who used to skateboard, and he was, uh, doing a thing where you'd jump and then you go down the steps on the, on the rail? Yeah. Cracked his head open. Okay. He was in a, he was comatose for a few days Oh geez. Before he came back, you know? Yeah. But he had friends with him when he had, when he did that.
Yeah. So Jacob was by himself. He's had the lecture. Okay. Okay. Anyway, I get him to the emergency room and [00:10:00] l luckily we're there and, uh, ain't nobody else there. Mm-hmm. We walked right in. They got us into a room.
Mike: You've said, ain't nobody got time for that so much that now it's just like, snuck into your normal.
You're gonna do that at work with you say, ain't nobody got time for that. Yeah. But nobody
Darin: there, you know? Yeah. Nobody there. So we get back to the room, and I don't know if you've noticed this, like, when was the last time you do, like when you took Charlie to the hospital? Yeah. For his thumb. Yeah. Did they ask questions like, do you feel safe in your home and or is someone abusing you?
Yeah. Or are you, do you feel,
Mike: and I told 'em, no, I don't feel safe in my home. And yes, people do abuse me, but they didn't do sh
Darin: Yeah. Yeah. But the nurses ask me, they do ask that they're required to ask
Mike: these questions and you're sitting right there while it's happening. Yeah. Like, he,
Darin: like, he's gonna say, no, I, no, I don't feel safe at all.
Like with the guy who's gonna, you know,
Mike: I, I would, I mean, just as a joke, I'd love to be have that asked and just say, just watch it. Right. Just don't, don't, don't,
Darin: you know, but I mean, I would think to get a [00:11:00] realistic answer, That the nurse would say, Hey dad, we need to do a couple of things. Is it okay if you step out in the hall?
Yeah. But I don't know if they're allowed to do that. But Jacob's 18, so, but anyway, one of the questions she asked is, are you able to learn?
Mike: Are you able
Darin: to learn? And Jacob said, yes. And I said, are you, are you, because I'll
Mike: learn you. Yeah, yeah. Are you able to learn? Are you able to learn? That's the title. And then, um, that's the title. You can vote all you want. That's the title. Yes.
Darin: Title. And then Jacob's like mucking around with the remote trust.
Like, oh, how to Train Your Dragon Three on Can we, the nurse is trying to ask you questions. Can we watch how to Turn Your Dragon
Mike: Three? And you and the nurse are exchanging, looks like maybe he did hit his head.
Darin: So we put it on and he's, he's happy as a pig. Just they're watching how to Train Your Dragon Three.
You know, they X-rayed it. And, uh, Libby left work and she came and met [00:12:00] us, Uhhuh. And then they told us that like all the stuff, you know, they did all they could do at this hospital up here in Westchester. Yeah. That we needed to take him down if they're gonna cast it. Cuz they don't, they don't do that up here.
So Libby, it's like, like a
Mike: specialty thing? Yeah,
Darin: apparently. Okay. So Libby took him down to the, uh, to the main hospital in Cincinnati where they, where the cast are they X-rated again. Okay. Where they put the cast on it. Yeah. And they asked him, do you want to be awake when we reset your wrist? When we put the bones back?
He goes, no thank you. Mm-hmm. So he put 'em out, gave him some, uh, some good stuff. Okay. And then they got, I think she said they set the wrist, x-rayed it, casted it, then they x-rayed it again. And I mean, it's just like, I don't know how many times he went in and had x-rays. Yeah. But anyway, it's in the cast, it's in the sling.
It's his right hand. Mm-hmm. He's right-handed. So he's sitting there trying to learn how to, uh, how to eat with his left hand outta right. With his left hand. How to shampoo his hair with his left hand. He's having a good old time. Yeah. But he had said he was glad [00:13:00] that he didn't do more damage one because you know, he, he only hurt his wrist.
Mm-hmm. But he said that he was wearing his, uh, his uc drip. And he's glad that that didn't get scuffed up. And I said You were doing your, what? He was wearing his uc drip, drip, drip. D r i p drip. Do you know what drip is, Mike? I thought it was morphine. He, no, he was wearing a hoodie. Okay. But kids today call their clothes their drip, saw him in the hospital like you were what?
And so I asked the nurse, I'm like, did he get any blood on his drip? So she knew what I was talking about. Oh my God. And the nurse who came in, yeah. She was a, a skater. Uhhuh. She's like, oh, cool. Yeah. Yeah. Where did you go? Oh, I've skated at that park with
Mike: a helmet.
So, so, yeah. Long longtime listeners of the show know that I am a huge fan of Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy. Right. It is in fact my favorite book by my favorite author. And one of the things, it's, it's [00:14:00] got tons of satire and, and all these other things in it. And one of the things they do is refer to one of the characters as a hoopy fruit Uhhuh, A Hoopy fruit, which like a cool, really together guy.
Mm-hmm. And it's done satire, making fun of people just coming up with different words for normal things. Yeah. And I laughed at it when I was, this is like in the eighties, nineties when I read that and I thought, nobody's ever gonna sound that, actually sound that stupid. Right. But now here we are hearing that.
You're talking about your drip. Your drip, your drip drip. That just sounds like, it sounds like somebody in a basement somewhere was smoking it up and said, let's just start saying this and see what happens.
Darin: Yeah. And I asked him, I said, so you're happy to say that you're wearing your uc drip? Mm-hmm. But you will not get behind me and make dent happen.
Yeah. You will not be part of the dent movement. Cuz I think dent is just as, yeah. Stupid as drip. Why hast th Can we [00:15:00] bring that back? Actually, I think Drip is even more stupider. Yeah. Than dent.
Dave: Irritable Dead Syndrome was brought to you this week by diff liquid concentrated wallpaper stripper. With its unique enzyme action diff dissolves old paste and cuts wallpaper removal time in half.
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Mike: back in the nineties. All right. I remember the nineties so well. Yeah, I got so, okay, let's go back even further. Back in the eighties mm-hmm. There was a computer game. Yeah. Called Ultima. Okay. It still exists.
You can still find it. I used to drive a Nissan Altima. Yes. Okay. This is one of the [00:16:00] very first role playing games, computers. I love, I love role playing. And it was based on Dungeons and Dragons, that whole thing. Yeah. Uh, started by Richard Gar, who made it in his garage. Okay. He's the dude that lives in a castle.
It's a whole different thing. Anyway, the point is mm-hmm. These games were stupid popular amongst really, really geeky people, like the computer game people in the eighties. You remember the eighties? When you're talking about video games in the eighties, you're talking about like Atari and Nintendo.
Exactly. I'm talking about the people that those people called nerds. Yeah, this guy. All right. Yeah. Okay. So I never really played that much of them because. I just didn't, I I admired them from afar. I, good excuse. I can't, I can't get into that. I got into it after college. So in the nineties I started like collecting them all.
I have them all now. Okay. And then I started looking for information about them on the internet, and I found an internet chapter called of a fan club called the Ultima Dragons. And this is back when, um, [00:17:00] what was the MySpace When you would click on somebody's MySpace page. Yeah. And then Bonjovi would start playing.
Yeah. And it'd show them like with sparkles on 'em. Mm-hmm. And little Jiffs going. So it was like one of those pages. Yeah. Little music from the game would start.
Darin: Okay. Before you, the first time I heard of MySpace, my friend Mike Saponi. Yeah. Who, uh, who is our rep at the Dayton Cable Access. Yep. And was asking me if I wanted to get on MySpace.
And I had no idea what he was talking about. Yeah. He's trying to explain it to me. And he, he told me, he says, you know, you could have, you know, friends, get on your page and see your stuff. I'm like, Dude, you're the only friend I have.
Mike: So I get on this page, I see all this cool stuff, and I was like, here's other nerds talking about, and they take it seriously.
They had different, like there was an emerald dragon mm-hmm. And a red dragon. Yeah. And these were like people that were in this, in, in this group. Yeah. And they, you could mail them stuff. So years and years and years go by, I, uh, ended up getting married. So left all that life behind, ah, you know, years and [00:18:00] years and years passed the other day I thought I need to look and see if this thing that was, that was for a game that's like at this point, 40, almost 30 something years old.
Is it still around on the Innerwebs? And lo and behold, they have a Facebook chapter. Oh, okay. So I applied.
Darin: Okay. Oh, and I hope
Mike: they accepted you. And I was accepted. Okay. Darren, I know what you're thinking. Mike, save some for the rest of us.
I am a member of the Facebook Ultima Dragons. I had to answer two questions. Yeah. What is thou favorite Ultima? If uh, and then the second possible I'd
Darin: go over and
Mike: chest bump you right now. So what is thou favorite Ultima? To which I answered Ultima seven. Of course. That's everyone's favorite Altima. A lot of people say Altima four, whatever.
Yeah. And then, then the hardcore like, [00:19:00] Ooh, I'm a emo. Mm-hmm. Will go Altima five. Altima seven was a full black box and it just said, you know what, we're gonna put blood in this game and you can suck it. Yeah. Suck it. So that's the best one. Yeah. And then it said, why? And I wrote because, and they accepted me.
Thanks.
Darin: They were probably so excited that somebody wanted to join. Yeah. That they're like,
Mike: don't piss him off. Just take it. Take it. So I wanna say hi to all the Ultima Dragons. Hi. All two of you, uh, out there. There's a famous,
Darin: there may be more of us than Ultimate Dragon.
Mike: There's an actress that is an ultimate dragon.
Okay. And I don't know who she is or what she's been in, I, I saw it on their, it was on their Wikipedia. They were
Darin: all excited. Dallas, Howard? No. Emma Stone?
Mike: No. Courtney. It's not, it's not, it's not gonna go anywhere. Okay. It could be Corma. I don't know. Okay. The point is, she doesn't go by whatever name that is.
She goes by like, oh, Ebony Dragon or Ivory Dragon or whatever. So I'm going [00:20:00] to start interacting with this group. Oh, okay. Um, I noticed when our friend of the show, Mike Chisholm mm-hmm. Um, entered into the U YouTube group, he came on there and said, Hey, I'm a host of a U2 Letterman that he just threw it out there.
It's like, I'm a this. Yeah. I think I'm gonna do that on the Ultimate Dragons. I'm gonna say, Hey, I'm the host of the best damn podcast y'all have ever seen or heard, and I'm talking about this thing. Yeah. On there. Yeah. So you're welcome. Yeah. For all the members you get. Yeah.
Darin: I'm, I'm glad you're making more friends.
I really am.
Mike: I'm excited for, that's all I needed was one more
Darin: Facebook group. I can't wait. Yeah. I can't wait to hear more about it.
I would love to take episode one off
Mike: some, listen to that again this week. Yeah. Like I wanted to call, I wish it would like the phone number. I wish I would get a text. Uhhuh, um, Bert Flak in mm-hmm. Boise, Idaho. Yeah. Listen to episode one, so I could call him and say, what are you doing? Yeah. And now that
Darin: I'm mentioning it, yeah.
That someone else is gonna go and listen to [00:21:00] it.
Mike: Somebody has been going episode 1, 2, 3 for the past two or three weeks. They're up to like 40 something now. They've been going one. Every, every day or so. Okay.
Darin: Yeah. They don't have to do that. No.
Mike: Yeah. They're probably sitting like this thing goes freaking nowhere.
It doesn't, it's the same two characters, but they're just talking about whatever.
Darin: Yeah. Yeah. Like you said, this ain't Game of Thrones. No, it doesn't. The only difference if, if you're new to the podcast, you do not have to listen from the
Mike: beginning. Yeah. You're listening to the correct episode at this
Darin: moment.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. If you wanna listen to this one and then go back and then go back and listen to 'em in reverse order, whatever, you're gonna be totally fine. Yeah. Yeah,
Mike: it might actually make more sense. A good place to start is to, um, listen to the best of year one yes, which is episode 52 and the best of year two, episode 1 0 4, 1 0 4.
Darin: This
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Darin: Devin.
Mike: We had tree tremors show up at our house. I noticed that when I pulled in. Did you see that? Yeah. Yeah. Um, so bes called and said, there's a guy here with a chainsaw, which got my attention as it should.
He wants to trim the trees and it was gonna be something, something a hundred bucks. I'm like, uh, I can, part of me, I, I stopped just sort of saying, I can do that because I can't do that. Right. That suck. Right. So I'm like, okay, we'll do that for the trees. And then I get another text. The, the amount is almost four times higher and says he's just gonna go ahead and mulch and do this to, I'm like, what?
But then I thought, I'm also not [00:23:00] gonna mulch or do these other things. You know what my theory
Darin: is about mulch? Yeah. You buy dirt and you put it on top of dirt. Yeah. Whoever invented mulch was a brilliant genius. Right?
Mike: So people, longtime listeners of the show are already have a little bit of anxiety right now because I'm talking about our tree trees being trimmed and there's something in your tree and.
Going further. Mm-hmm. Just this past weekend, was it? This weekend we had storms and tornadoes. Oh yeah. And all this stuff going around, the trees were blowing almost sideways in our, in our front. Yeah. It was insane. I was actually a little concerned. Mm-hmm. Again, I got calls, I got texts, I got messages on Facebook.
Is it okay? Mm-hmm. So I went out and, and people that follow us on Twitter and the Facebook know I posted a picture. Mm-hmm. The bag of dog is still in the tree. Yes. Five plus years on. Yes. And I am ho I'm, I'm never gonna bring it down. And, and the thought is that it's probably grown into the tree at this point.
And when they perfect DNA technology. Mm-hmm. And I can get the dog's dna, n a from [00:24:00] that dog. We're gonna have that dog recreated. Oh, you, whatever. Again, she'll be here again. Molly two now from a number two. Did the, don't laugh at that. That's terrible.
Darin: The guy, I'm assuming it's a guy, I don't mean to be sex.
Was it a guy?
Mike: I guess. Okay. She said a guy with a chainsaw. Okay.
Darin: Most tree tremors are guys, I'm just, don't start any shit with me. Don't send any letters. It's statistics. I don't want to, I don't wanna talk about
Mike: it. He identified as a man. Okay.
Darin: Okay. I wanna know if while this guy was trimming your tree, did he, did he see the, see, ask the question.
There's a bag of dogs hanging from your breast. Do you want me to get
Mike: that? So you know how far our front step is from that tree? I, I not in feet. I, I stepped out and immediately I saw the dog. Yeah. There's no way. That anybody trimming in that tree did not see dog. Right. I am a little upset that we didn't get questioned on it.
Yeah. Like, do you know that you have
Darin: Yeah. A bag still there? Yeah. Although the in the bag is probably [00:25:00] evaporated.
Mike: It's there. It's brown. It's still in there. Okay. It's in there. Okay. There's something in that bag. Okay. I mean, the water may be gone, but the, the solid feces is in there,
Darin: but the sh remains.
But no, I could just imagine him, you know, going to his next gig and Yeah. Or let's say it's a two-man team, like Yeah. Did you notice that there's a, but a bag in the, it
Mike: warms my heart because this show Uhhuh, I mean, it was, well, it, it had been in the tree for a couple of years before we mentioned it on this show.
Yeah. And now it's still, that was like one of the first episodes we ran out of things to talk about. What kills
Darin: me is we had nothing to talk about, talking about your wife. Is just fine with that.
Mike: She wasn't for about a year, year and a half, and then it, and
Darin: now she just, she embraces this. Now
Mike: it's became a thing.
Yeah. It's like, okay, we have the out there. Yeah. And it's part of the show. It's if this ever gets famous, uhhuh. Whoever has this house later, if once we get kicked out. Right. I'm gonna put in the, [00:26:00] in the deed. They can't remove the sh from the tree. It's good to be there.
Darin: Speaking of dogs? Yes. Yep. Marbles. Oh.
That, when I point to you, Mike, that means you, you talk.
Mike: All right. So, so everybody knows that m and marbles have had some issues. Yes. He started some new with me lately. Mm-hmm. Okay. This is what he does now. This is what he did last night. Dakota apparently had some intestinal issues mm-hmm. And needed to keep going out to go potty.
Mm-hmm. All right. So what does she do? Does she know, knows one of us or Paul of No, she goes down to the door, stands there and starts ying. Yeah. Okay. So I like to pretend that I don't hear it, and I just lay there, Uhhuh. Okay. And then Bess, I'll hear her go, Ugh. And she'll get up and she'll go down. You, you're
Darin: giving away your.
She listens I
Mike: to this podcast. Yeah. But she's like a few weeks behind. I still have a few more about a month of peace. Okay. And then [00:27:00] Marbles is attached to her, like he goes everywhere. She goes. Right, right, right. So he jumps up out of, he crawls from the deaths of the, under the covers. Mm-hmm. And then chases her.
He always wants to go out too. It's cold and wet out there. Yeah. So the way marbles comes back into the bed is instead of climbing up into the bed where she is, he jumps up on the other side of me, walks over and plants a wet paw right on my cheek, which causes me to cuss and jump up in bed. Mm-hmm. To which best says what.
And then I'm not gonna, I'm, I mean, I'm, I'm, I was just laying there in bed while she was dealing with the dog. Right. So I decided nothing, and I go back to sleep. And then an hour or two later I hear Uhhuh. Yep. And the whole thing happens again. Last night, marbles walked. On my face Uhhuh three times.
That's not a statistical, that's not chance. He's aiming for me. He's doing that on purpose. He knows what he's doing. He does. [00:28:00] Yeah. I mean, I've got a fat head. Right. But I've also got a fat ass. You think he would, it's not
Darin: so fat that he can't He can around it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think he's trying to prove something to you, Mike.
I think he's trying to, uh, establish dominance in that bed. No, I You're the man. What? It's anyone who's gonna be dominant in the bedroom.
Mike: It's gonna be you by God. He's the, he likes to, what am I talking about? Put his head. He likes to put his head on Be's pillow Uhhuh, which. Uh, and there's no physicist out there.
But what happens is when he does that, his ass is aimed at me. Mm-hmm. And I always have to move his ass down and aim it at Buba. Who's right there? Uhhuh. I'm like, you know what, this dog's ass is gonna go in another dog's face. It's not going on my face. Right. And then he wants to be back in the same place.
So he jumps up, lands on my face, and goes the, the, just, it's,
Darin: it's, it's terrible. I'm not telling you how to live your life, but these two dogs would be on the floor. Mm-hmm. If it were me. Hmm. That's
Mike: just me. I need to grow a pair is what I need to do. I need to take charge of at least my side of the bed.
I'm yanking [00:29:00] covers away from Buba all the time. Yeah. Because she plops her butt down again, and then it ticks
Darin: the covers off of me. You own the bed. You own the house. Mm-hmm. You own the dog? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Take dominance. Okay. Own the bedroom. I should, yeah. You won't. I won't. No, but you should. Nope. Hey,
Dave: kids, it's now time for Dave's Comedy Corner.
Fred Flinstone used his feet to power his car, so why didn't he just run everywhere he went?
Darin: Ah, Waka Waka Waka. This
Dave: has been Dave's Comedy Corner, brought to you this week by Whoppers Albe, footlong Hotdogs. Get a ruler and measure it yourself. If your hotdog isn't a foot long, they'll refund your money.
Guaranteed.
Darin: Avenue. I've been trying to be a lot more, what's the word I'm saying? I've been trying to reach out to our fans a lot more on the Facebook. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So I noticed the other day that one of our loyal listeners, her birthday was coming up. Okay. Okay. So I reached [00:30:00] out on our face. Okay. Said, Hey, happy birthday to this person.
Mm-hmm. Well, another listener is now all jealous. Oh, you love this person so much and you never love me this much as you love her. Whatever. Like we're in high school again.
Mike: Love the answer to that question. Yes. Yeah. Yes. I don't care about your birthday.
Darin: I'm like, is it your birthday? Yeah. Did I ignore your birthday?
Yeah. No I didn't. Yeah. Uh, so
Mike: you know who you are. Yeah. You're not allowed to listen to the show anymore. You're banned from this show. That's how you handle that. Yeah.
Darin: Yeah, yeah. Ooh. So we now have a second band person for me with the show. Yeah. Yeah. I hope you're happy. It's spring here in, uh, it's everywhere.
Mike: That's how
Darin: seasons work everywhere in the United States. It is spring. Yeah. Okay. Mm-hmm. And I have neighbors, and I don't know if you have neighbors like this. I assume that you do. The very second the sun comes out and it, it reaches [00:31:00] above like 60 degrees. They're out mowing their grass. Yeah. They have to be the first person who mows their grass.
Mm-hmm. And I don't get it. I don't know what it is, but I'm telling you, I've got neighbors on each side of me. Okay. Yeah. And, uh, this is what I do. Okay. They think they're so smart. They think that they're really getting me by mowing their grass before I do. Yeah. But this is what I do. It's called the five two Lawn mowing Rule.
Okay. So my neighbor to my left of me Uhhuh. When he mows his grass, say he mows his grass on a Saturday. Uhhuh. I wait until Monday and I mow my grass. Okay. Ask me why. Why? Okay. He thinks his yard's gonna look better than mine. Yeah. So he mows on Saturday? Yeah. His yard looks better than mine for two days.
Uhhuh, I mow then my grass looks better than his for five days. Okay. Alright. It's the five two lawn mowing rule. Oh, I see what you're saying. So listen guys, I'm telling you, stop being so, ah, gotta get out there and [00:32:00] mow the grass before Larry. Yeah, no. Yeah. Wait until they mow. Wait a day or two then mow.
Mm-hmm. Then your guard looks better than theirs for almost four or five days. Yeah. Yeah. It's simple math. Yeah.
Mike: Yeah. I don't care. Yeah. What our lawn looks like. I mean, you can't tell from what we just spent on it, but do you still
Darin: have your lawnmower in the living room?
Mike: No. No. Okay. It's, you got it outta there's, it's moved out.
I actually used it this weekend and I did mow, I did, I mow too grass. Yeah. Moved all of Mar's crap outta the way. Yeah. Ran over some poops. Yeah. Uh,
Darin: pretty good. Do you go out there and pick up your own dog poop or do you just go over best? Best does, best does what? Let me ask you a question sometimes.
Mike: Do you two
Darin: house best lets the dogs out?
Bea best the dogs back in
Mike: made, I made wings tonight. Oh, I did. You I made wings. I did. Oh, I love wings. From the spicy wings. Oh, well, I had, we had all different, we had like the spicy, we had the buffalo. Yeah. Then we had Asian [00:33:00] zing. Ooh. And we had, can we, are we allowed to say that? Honey Barbecue, Asian zing.
Okay. We just, you don't you. It depends where you put the accent.
Well, we got the BW three flavors, which I discovered at Kroger. Mm-hmm. You can get BW three sauce flavors, so we get those and air fry the wings. Okay. They're better than BW three s cuz they're not greasy. Right. But they have, they taste the same. Oh, it's good. Okay. It's good wings. Okay. I don't even know if Best is a huge wing fam.
It just like the wings when I make them. I do love wings, so I do that. Okay. I did laundry this weekend, Uhhuh,
Darin: um, I did a boatload of laundry this
Mike: weekend. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, I edited the video. Version of this podcast.
Darin: No, I mean, what do you do for the house? Not, not
Mike: for I did that. I, uh, that's right.
Darin: I wanted to send a shout out to Mike Chisholm and the Letterman podcast.
Yeah. You mentioned him a few minutes ago. Yeah. He, uh, he hosts a show called the Letterman podcast. It's, it's about David Letterman. It's about [00:34:00] David Letterman, and his show is coming up on a one year anniversary. Whoa. Yeah. And, uh, I was his first guest on the Letterman podcast. And so, uh, April 20th is the anniversary.
Of the Letterman podcast. Uh, Mike and I did the, uh, uh, a thing where we reviewed the u2 David Letterman, Disney Plus special, and we did the review with Mike. Okay. And he had to run. So it was only like about 20 some minutes with Mike. Mm-hmm. I did something, uh, I went rogue. I apologize. Okay. But I had a thing called Darren's Magazine Collection.
Over the past 30 years, I've collected all kinds of stuff from David Letterman, magazines, books, uh, coffee mugs, mouse pads, t-shirts, this, that, whatever. So we recorded a little thing with, uh, me going through all the collectible stuff that I have with David Letterman. Anyway, that's gonna be coming up here in a couple weeks, but if you wanna listen to check out the Letterman podcast, do that.
Uh, he's had writers and guests and producers and [00:35:00] uh, uh, just all various sorts of people who have actually worked on the Late Show and late night with David Letterman. Yeah. And it's a good time. Yeah. And check it out and I think you'll enjoy it.
Mike: Uh, so another show we're gonna be on. Is it next week? It's next week, yeah.
Is our, our buds over at the Buds. Yeah. Our pals our we're, we're patriots
Darin: friendly with them, but I wouldn't know, I wouldn't call us friends
Mike: with them. Our, our friendlys, we've never hung out our friendlys over the, over at the, the decision reel. Yeah. Decision reel. Yeah. Our friends over at the decision reel decision reel have asked us to be on a segment that came outta Darren's head that they use now.
Yeah. Which is how have you not seen this? Yeah. Which came about cuz when we were on their show. Yeah. We found out that one of the co-hosts, Uhhuh of a movie podcast had not seen Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. I have a movie podcast. And I haven't, haven't seen seen Star Wars. Wars Haven.
And Darren said, how have you not seen Star Wars? Yeah. Hey, what
Darin: happened? Like, I mean,
Mike: if you were gonna take their license, you were to drive to wherever they are. I was [00:36:00] gonna,
Darin: they're they're license outta, they're on a Massachusetts, Maryland. Outta Maryland. One of them, Northern. I was gonna call the governor of Maryland.
Yeah. And have their podcast license revoked our, the
Mike: show came to us screeching Hal, hold it. That hot. Halt, halt, halt. That's how you say that. I know. I'd get one of those vows in there. Anyway. Uh, they had asked us, they'd send us a note saying, Hey, we have this segment. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, you know, of course
Darin: you do.
Darren, Darren invented
Mike: it. Would you be interested in coming on and, and talking? I was like, I'm trying. I can't think of any, because Darren and I both love movies. Yeah. And between us, we've seen everything. Pretty much everything. And I'm like, what the, what the hell would we possibly
Darin: talk about? Oh my God.
We went back and forth and like, have you seen, well, we
Mike: finally gave up. I think we, I don't even remember. We like Lawrence of Arabia. Lawrence of We do that. Yeah. And then one of this, one of the tapings of this show, Uhhuh, you brought up the fact that you've never seen The Evil Dead too. Yeah. And you're talking about record scratches.
I always threw you outta my damn house. Like, how have you not seen, I literally said that. Like, how have you not seen Evil Dead too? I'm [00:37:00] like, that's it. Yeah. So I threw that out to them. They thought that was hilarious. Because you'll see why when you see the movie. Yeah. It's a hilarious movie. Yeah. Um, so it's, it's perfect.
It's perfect for us to be on their show Yeah. Talking about that
Darin: movie. Yeah. So it's gonna be my idea. And then they're gonna, and I love, this is what I like most about this. I Yeah. Is that it's gonna sinner about me. It's gonna be all about me. Darren, how come Darren didn't do this? And Darren, Darren.
Darren. Darren. Darren. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. But I'm gonna watch Evil Dead Too. Uhhuh. I, I was never against seeing it. Yeah. It just, no, no. It just never, it just never came around. That happens. Yeah. Yeah. Like how have I,
Mike: you know? Yeah. My, my favorite thing, my favorite thing about Evil Dead too, is that it has, it's, it's basically evil dead one all over again with a bigger budget.
Like, they just, they didn't even address that at all. Like, I love the fact that there's probably people who went into the theater, oh, I can't wait to see what happens next. And they're waiting. They're like, wait, this is the same. Damn.
Darin: I mean, I like Bruce Campbell. I [00:38:00] really like Bruce Campbell a lot. Yeah.
Mike: Yeah. This is, this is the one that made him
Darin: Yeah. Him. So, yeah. I've never been against seeing it. It just, well, the one that I was, that I was gonna pitch that we do is the, uh, the, Hey, hey, I'm driving a car really fast. What's that? You're driving Miss Daisy? No, no. I've seen driving Miss Daisy days offender Fast.
Fast and The Furious Fast and Furious. Yeah. Yeah. But you've seen that, I've
Mike: seen most of the first one. Mostly. Yeah.
Darin: And I've, yeah. I have not seen any of the Fast and the Furious
Mike: movies. I think Evil Dead Too is the perfect movie for us to, so yeah.
Darin: I'm gonna watch that. And then we are going to review that with the gentleman from the decision reel.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That'll be fun. Yeah. Yeah. And when, when that's ready, we will, uh, post a link to that on our
Mike: website. Imagine Jim Carey in They live. Yeah. And that's pretty much with a haunted house feel to it. Yeah. That's evil Dead too. Yeah.
Darin: Yeah. Uh, speaking of movies, uh, Libby and I, we, uh, went back and watched some classics.
Cameron, we had thought that he had seen Forrest Gump. Okay. [00:39:00] Yeah. We saw forest guns. Yeah. And we, and like how, and we asked him and we said, how have you not seen it? He's like, every time I wanted to watch it. You're like, because he was like a little kid. Yeah. And we didn't think he would get it. Mm-hmm. Uh, anyway, so we watched it with Cameron.
Oh my God. Not a dry eye in the house. Yeah. We cried when Bubba died. We tried when Jenny died. Mm-hmm. Spoiler alert cried when mama died. Mm-hmm. Lieutenant Dan. Mm-hmm. And we cried when he made his piece of God and the, you call this a storm and we were just, it's everything. And it's like the, the movie is still just as good today.
Yes. As it was when they first released it. Yeah. And uh, I was so happy to, cuz I hadn't seen it in years. Mm-hmm. Many, many, many years. And it has aged great. Yeah. It's still just as great. Yeah. We also watched Rain Man. Okay. Okay. Okay. And, uh, I think I've told you my opinion on Ray. You farted because Farted.
Yeah,
Mike: farted. Yeah. Yeah,
Darin: yeah. Did you fart? Yeah. I don't mind. You know, everyone was raving about how great Dustin Hoffman was in that movie. Mm-hmm. [00:40:00] And yes, he was great. Tom Cruise, but Tom Cruise, yeah. Tom Cruise went from Des being nasty, despicable. You just want to smack him, Uhhuh to He won everybody over.
Yeah. In a little over two hours. Yeah. Yeah. And then you just fell in love with them. Yeah. And that takes some talent. Yeah. Takes a lot of talent. So, yeah. And then we watched. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal skull. I wanted to watch this again, because the fifth one's coming out. Yeah. And you and I were going back and forth and back and forth.
Yeah. About, about all of 'em are the same. And I remember not liking it at all, Uhhuh when it came out. And I thought, I'm gonna give it a second chance, Uhhuh, I'm gonna see, maybe I was wrong. I've been wrong before. Mm-hmm. The first time I saw Pulp Fiction, I didn't get it. I didn't care for it, and everyone was raving and going on and outta their minds.
I watched it again and I got it. Mm-hmm. And then it's one of my favorites and, and I own the movie. Yeah. That's not how Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull works Yeah. Than movies. Actually, actually worse than it was when it, [00:41:00] when it, uh, when it came out, I couldn't stand Kate Blanchett and I like her.
Okay. Okay. Okay. And as much as I love Harrison Ford, I'm like, did you not read the script? What are you doing here, man? It's like, I mean, they must have paid him a lot
Mike: of money, so it was, uh, yeah. Mm mm mm.
Darin: And you saw a cocaine bear, didn't you? I'd
Mike: we, me and Bess watched Cocaine Bear. So did
Darin: you watch it with the kids?
Uh, well here's
Mike: the deal, Charlie, pull up a seat. Uh, the kids were home Uhhuh and we wanted to watch a family movie and we started going through the list of family movies. I actually, there's a, the stack of them up there on the table. I picked a bunch of movies that we could watch with both kids and keep their interests, which I thought were awesome movies.
One of, one of them was Dancings with Wolves. Oh yeah. Cast away, uh mm-hmm. With Thomas Hanks. Um, yeah, there were, there were a whole, uh, gaggle of them. I thought maybe the hunt for red October, cuz Andrew started to like those type of movies and. [00:42:00] Every movie was like, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna go worst. I'm gonna go with my friends.
I'm gonna play Apex. So me and Bess and Bess was like, she looked at me, she's like, I really wanted to watch a movie tonight. And I'm like, yeah, uh, you know, cocaine Bear is on Voodoo right now. And she said, let's watch Cocaine Bears. Yeah. Yeah. So we parked our happy asses right down here, Uhhuh. And we started Cocaine Bear.
Yeah. And I mean, we kind of knew what to expect. Well, yeah. But about. It's about the first 10 to 15 minutes you're watching cocaine. But we were laughing immediately. Yeah. In the first 30 seconds, you'll start laughing. I don't wanna spoil anything, but you'll, you will start laughing the first 15 seconds.
Okay. It really doesn't do what I thought it was gonna do. I thought it was gonna show the bear, like finding the cocaine, eating it and it doesn't, it assumes, you know, that happened. Well, yeah.
Darin: It's in the title. It's
Mike: literally it. The first time you see the bear he is jacked up. Yeah. On, as they say, on, on the cocaine.
On the cocaine. [00:43:00] Not on a train. Right. He is going crazy. Just like malling everything around. Um, it's, it's hilarious.
Darin: You ever hear that bit from Pat Nas while talking about, you know, movies that some of them don't leave. Yeah. Don't leave much. Uh, out to the title and he's like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Mike: Yeah. This was Cocaine Bear. It says everything, everything you need to know right there. My favorite thing about it though is that as you're watching it, you go back and forth between, this is the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my life. And then right over to this is brilliant. Yeah. Because it is stupid.
Yeah. Okay. It is stupid. There's a part where the cocaine bear chases an ambulance.
This is the part we were, this is the part that we were laughing, uh, spoilers. Yeah. This is the part we were laughing at the most is this, uh, woman gets maed by the bear, but she's somehow still alive for some reason. She's on a stretcher in an ambulance and it's racing away being chased by the cocaine bear uhhuh.
And he jumps and it's one of those shots and we just start [00:44:00] laughing. Kinda like bowing Luke Duke going over the Yeah. And he lands in the ambulance and shoves her right up into the console where the dude is driving and just starts like right down and the dude is screaming. And it is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.
It's so
Darin: good. I'm gonna have to check it out. It is cool. I I will, I'm not gonna pay to rent it, but it's
Mike: like, I, I already have, we did, we actually own it on Voodoo now we actually
Darin: own it. Yeah. I don't know how many, uh, different streamers that we have now, but it's gonna come to one of 'em.
Mike: I've definitely wait until it's, it's on a streaming thing.
It's you. Yeah. Yeah. You'll be glad that you saw it. It's so stupid.
Darin: Well, speaking of stupid Uhhuh, I have never claimed to be anything but stupid. I did something on Facebook the other day that was, I think I raised the bar on stupid, so I was getting ready and I'd gotten out of the Sure. By the way, I've started calling it Libby and I call it the Sure.
Go get kids. [00:45:00] Go get in the Sure. Yeah. And the kids go shower. Sure. The shower get in the Sure. Okay. The shower, right? Yeah. Mom shower. Sure. Yeah. We're like that character with the, the substitute teacher. Yeah. Jacque Cullin.
Mike: Jacqueline. Yeah. A a Ron. A. A
Darin: Ron? Yeah. Who the hell's? Yeah. So, uh, I gotten outta the shore and I'm putting on my deodorant.
Mm-hmm. And I'll be damned if, if, uh, I got it under my left armpit and then it ran out. I'm completely outta deodorant. Mm-hmm. I go in the drawer and I realized that the other thing of deodorant that I got clear wasn't the same brand. And so I'm like, well, I can't put one brand of deodorant under left arm and another brand under the right arm.
No, you can't do it. Well, sure I can. And I thought, Let's, let's just because we're in the age of social media, so I got on Facebook and just told everybody, this is what I'm doing. Mm-hmm. I took pictures of the deodorants. I told everybody what was under the left arm and what was under the right arm, and then I would keep 'em posted and I kept them posted all day long, my [00:46:00] progress
and people were glued to it. I had people actively listening Yeah. Waiting to see what happened. Yeah. And I had, I had, uh, Gillette, clear Dry Tech, cool Wave. Oh, Gillette Cool. Wave under my left arm. Okay. Right guard, extreme defense. Arctic Refresh. Yeah. Come on. So, extreme defense. Yeah, extreme defense. I couldn't help, but I'm notice not playing basketball here.
What the hell's extreme
Mike: defense. So I was amongst the, uh, the crew that was watching this take place. Yeah. And I couldn't help, I zoomed in on each picture. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I noticed that they're both anti per sprints. So you wear anti per sprint deodorant? Yes. Yes.
Darin: Okay.
Mike: Well, wouldn't that have the aluminum you're gonna get, like the Alzheimer's that'll, that'll cause you the Alzheimer's.
Does, does it
Darin: give you the Alzheimer's? Well,
Mike: that's what they've said
Darin: for a while. Yeah. I, that might explain a lot,
Mike: but I think it's the same people that say like, as Peram and [00:47:00] Saccharin give you the heebie-jeebies or whatever. Yeah. The cooties,
Darin: the COOs. I've had COOs for 50 years.
Mike: Yeah. So I could, I'd use the deodorant, I use the Old Spice Uhhuh, you know the,
Darin: yes.
You stand out in the, in the river and you cut the soap open with your pocket knife.
Mike: Yeah. I'm more, I'm more of the Yeah. The guy on the horse, you know, Uhhuh, you know that thing. Right? That's, that's the, yeah. Yeah. I use the swagger. Yeah. For some reason all the rest of 'em taste like, or taste this soap tastes like all the rest of 'em smell weird.
Yeah. For some reason the swagger smells the best. Mm-hmm. And I've noticed that it's the one that, they usually have the double pack and they have the big old thing. Yeah. So I think that's everyone's favorite. Yeah. Uh,
Darin: but you know, well, the reason I use the anti Perrin Uhhuh, And I used the clear, okay, cuz I used to use the white deodorant uhhuh and it was, it was leaving white marks in my uh, t-shirt.
That's the aluminum in there. Yeah. You don't want
Mike: that. The al aluminum aluminium aluminum. See the, the, the Old Spice swagger is [00:48:00] also clear, but it's blue uhhuh, but the, it comes off on your arm. It's not blue. You don't look like a smurf. But it makes you smell. Um, yeah. So you gotta, my
Darin: my, my favorite report, yeah.
Was like three or four hours. I said my left arm got a little itchy. Yeah. But that's no more itchier than it
Mike: usually gets.
Darin: Got five or six people laughing at you. Gotta Yeah.
Mike: Yeah. You gotta walk a fine line between smelling like the typical, the, the old school Old Spice, you don't wanna smell like that cuz somebody will throw you in a home.
Right. Especially at our age, they'll see the gray and the whiskers and be like, oh, I smell Old Spice. I see that man with gray. Let's put him in the home. Yeah. And then you're stuck. You don't wanna go too far the other way to smell like you've got ax body spray. Cause you don't want to. No, you don't wanna go there.
No. No you don't. I think the Old Spice, the blue, the blue ones. Yeah. If you buy an Old Spice deodorant mm-hmm. Get the deodorant. And if you open it up and it's bluish mm-hmm. You're good. You're good. You're all right. Okay. You know, you might smell a little oceany, a little bear. They've got [00:49:00] one that has a picture of a bear.
It doesn't make you smell like a bear, which pissed me off. I wanted to smell like a bear. I
Darin: smell like a bear. You go up in a, to a tree, lean up and just start scratching your back against it. Or again, it, as my dad used to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so, uh, I made two or three, uh, remarks during the day that night.
Uhhuh, uh, I had made chili. Okay. And we had uh, you were outta town? Yeah. Or you were what? Where were you? Because when, when was this? Saturday? Because of We were here. Yes. Where were we here? I don't know. Where
Mike: was I? I don't know. But you, I was
Darin: editing on Saturday. No, you said that you cuz cuz we couldn't. I said I had a
Mike: place to go.
Yeah, I just said that. Well, that
Darin: I thought you were somewhere cause No, you could've come over and had chili with us.
Mike: We would've loved to have come over. Yeah.
Darin: Well that, where were we? I don't know. But you said you weren't here anyway, so the Michaels came over to the house and the Durbins came over to our house.
Mm-hmm. And uh, and they brought their children. Mm-hmm. And I made chili. Okay. And this is the chili that I made when I [00:50:00] worked at Channel five. Mm-hmm. That won the chili Cookoff four years in a row. Oh, okay. Anyway, I asked Jason, I asked Aaron Uhhuh, I asked Chris Mary, I asked my mom. Okay. I, uh, I asked everybody if they would smell my armpits to see which one and nobody would.
Oh, wow. And it was like, come on, this is science here, guys. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mr. Whites. Yes. Science. And they wouldn't do it. Yeah. So I'm like, thank you for ruining the experiment. You're headed towards the home. I know. I was just like, I was going to complete it. And anyway, so this whole deodorant thing, uh, was, uh, left incomplete.
So
Mike: there was one time, you know, the, the store Big lots. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Darin: That's where we registered for our wedding.
Mike: I went in there, I went in there with my mom once Uhhuh, uh, I was a little, I was a little tyke. Okay. And just a little tyke. I, they had deodorant in there. Mm-hmm. And I remember I took the cap off the deodorant and there was a hair on it. On the deodorant stick on the new deodorant stick. [00:51:00] Well, somebody had clearly gone through and used it and my mom laughed so hard.
Uhhuh, I thought we were gonna have to leave right there. We were both la. We thought that was the most hilarious and disgusting thing we'd ever seen. Yeah, just a hair hanging off of it. Off the deodorant. Mm-hmm. Ew. Yeah. Ew. Yeah. Think of that next time you're at Big Lots by near deodorant.
Darin: Can't remember the last thing I bought in Big Lots.
Mike: Yeah. Well, I, I, for some reason I connected that like it from then on mm-hmm. For a while. Anytime I had a new toothpaste tube Yeah. I would squirt out a couple of inches of the toothpaste tube and just throw it in the trash. Like the first bit Uhhuh.
Cause I'm like, what if somebody was like, you know,
Darin: taking a hit off the, taking a hit off the toothpaste? Well, you'd notice if it was, if there was any missing because there would be an indent in the squeeze. Yeah.
Mike: Yeah. I
Darin: wasn't that smart, by the way. My kid Uhhuh, he, he twists the toothpaste. He pisses me off, off.[00:52:00]
He twists it like he's trying
Mike: to ring the neck Turkey live in the
Darin: shed. And I've, I was like, guys, if you, if you take it from the bottom Yeah. And squeeze it, you get all the toothpaste off. Mm-hmm. But no, he rings it like he's trying to kill. It's like, I can't steer you. Yeah. He just, mm-hmm. That doesn't make any sense.
Mm-hmm.
Mike: Yeah.
Darin: You're talking about Big Lots. That reminded me of story. Yeah. And I don't know if I've told it, and if I did, I'll tell it again. Mm-hmm. But when my, uh, mother-in-law was alive, we went to visit her one time. Okay. And she was cooking and she had, uh, lost her can opener. Okay. And so she's trying to open this can of green beans with a knife.
Oh. She's trying to stab it from the top. Oh my God. And I'm like, mom, stop. Mom, go stop. Mom. You're gonna cut your thumb off. Yeah. And she's like, well, I'm just trying to open these green beans. Oh, geez. I was like, mom, stop. Stop. Yeah. And I said, let me, okay. So I went across the street, Uhhuh, uh, from her little apartment, and there was a place called Fred's.
Okay. Okay. So I go into Fred's. Yeah. And I'm walking around and I can't find, it's got eight aisles. Mm-hmm. So [00:53:00] you'd think you'd be able to find anything easily. Uh, finally this woman came up and says, sir, can I help you? And I said, yeah, I'm looking for a can opener. Yeah. And she says, well, what can do you need?
And I'm like, what, what? The one that opens cans? And I said, I'm, I said, what do you mean? She says, do you want need an electric one or a handhold one? I said, I just, you know, I just need to handle one like the, like the Indians used. Oh. And she says, oh boy, Indians didn't use can hand openers. And I said, well, how did they open their
Mike: cans?
Oh
Darin: God. And the look she gave me. Yeah. Not she, she was not amused. No, no, not, she was not amused. No more confused than amused. Not upset. Yeah. But still. Yeah. I was
Mike: not, uh, you were on the wrong side of her tracks at that point. She was not in the mood for me. No, no, no.
Darin: I say we call it, she's been a good run.
Where, where [00:54:00]
Mike: boy, we've uh, we've rung the dish towel out on this one, folks. Jesus.
Darin: How this is one of those, how long did we talk about deodorant? I don't know. 20 minutes. We talked about
Mike: deodorant. Let me make sure I didn't miss anything. No. Talk about cocaine. Bear talked about the Ultimate Dragons. Talked about Drip.
I have. It just stopped. Oh yeah, that's right. Just
Darin: stopped. Okay. Okay.
Mike: Just stop this. Fuck show. Just.
I've got a frog. You know what?
Darin: Yeah. The podcasts are like kids.
Mike: Yeah. They can't all be worse not be winners. This is, this is the one that fell off the merry-go-round when they were two, and they just kind of acted strange from then on. That was,
Darin: this podcast just sits in the corner and blinks every
Mike: now and then.
So I'm on a new supplement. I take, I, I, I'm on a new supplement. Okay. That has caffeine in it. Okay. Okay. And it, you know, has little warnings. That I [00:55:00] used to ignore in my twenties and thirties, like, whatever. But now I'm getting, you know, I'm late forties, I'm gonna start reading these things. Yeah. It, it wouldn't be unheard of for a guy like me to just drop dead.
Um, so I wanna make sure I'm not gonna
Darin: Okay.
Mike: I make sure I'm not doing anything to help that along. Yeah. You know, and it says, do not use with any other caffeine. So I'm like, okay. I've wanted to stop using caffeine for, do not use it.
Darin: Any other caffeine? Yeah. Why are you just, can you mix caffeines?
Mike: Yeah.
Well, you know, you don't wanna drink a cup of coffee and then take this pill. You're gonna like, you're gonna get all jacked. Get all jacked up. Yeah. So I'm like, I will stop drinking any type of coffee. You know, I love the monster drinks. I haven't had one in a couple of days. Yep. Uh, so I did. I quit drinking all caffeine.
It's just these pills that are giving me, so it's, I can definitely tell the influence. Mm-hmm. Like in the morning. Yeah. I'm a zombie. I take the pills, I'm whoa. For like four or five hours turn on crusty to clown. I start to go yet. Hey kids. Yeah. [00:56:00] And then I start to go down a little bit and then it's time to go to the gym and I take another one.
I'm woo. And then it gets me where I'm about. I'm sleepy right now. As soon as be going to bed right now. Okay. Um, so I was thinking about that today. Uh, I was getting outta the shower. I'm like, I'm on my second day without caffeine out of the, sure. There's probably a challenge for this, and that's where the just stop comes in.
I want us to stop the challenges every time anybody does something for more than a day, right? It becomes a challenge, right? I haven't picked my nose. Oh, I'm on the no pick nose. I didn't pick my nose for a weak challenge. Okay? Or I'm gonna, I'm gonna quit, uh, stomping on, uh, grapes, eggs for. I didn't do it for two days straight.
It's no stopping on eggs Challenge. Yeah. You know, I'm sick of the, so that makes me want to just go up there and chug a monster drink now, because I don't want to feel like I'm on a, doing a challenge. Yeah.
Darin: Yeah. I think they're making too big a deal out of it.
Mike: Yeah. Yeah. So I feel like I should make a TikTok v Maybe I'll [00:57:00] make a TikTok video.
Okay. Like if I make it to Thursday or Friday. Yeah. I'll put it on the, I irritable dead. It has a TikTok. I'll put it, I'll, I'll like, uh, Hey, I'm on the challenge and I'll take a picture of myself every day that I don't have caffeine from a drink. By
Darin: the way, how addictive is TikTok? Do you get sucked into it?
Eh, occasionally. Yeah. Yeah. My God. Yeah. I think, I mean, I think I've found some of the most addictive people on TikTok.
Mike: I've got, one of my favorite TikTok ERs is this guy that, um, he's huge. Mm-hmm. He's Papa Swo, and he, his whole, like 99% of his videos are him walking from around the hedge with a, a, a, a mug and he takes a drink and he spits it and he points at, he says, go to the fuck gym.
And he gets up right up in your face. He's like, what are you doing? Your, the whole, that's his whole thing. Okay. I find that hilarious. Yeah. Because you always catch him doing different things and he looks and he spits out his, yeah. It's stupid, but I enjoy it. I follow
Darin: this guy. His name is Casey. Okay. And he's an artist.
Yeah. And he uses spray paints. Okay. Okay. And [00:58:00] he, most of his, and he does all kinds of artwork. Yeah. But most of the stuff that he does, the videos of are of planets. Okay. Okay. Okay. So he, he's like, okay, so someone wanted a planet this purple and blue. So he goes, Grae blue. And then he says, he takes the piece of paper, the newspaper crumpled it up, sweat,
Mike: sweat,
Darin: sweat.
Sh. And he dab die. And he pulls across and he goes, Kisha. Okay. Then he put a the black around to the drop shadow of the planet. Then he put a shasha bowl on top. Okay. Shasha bowl, boom. Yeah.
Mike: Gloss
Darin: black. Yeah. Then, then he does purple. Yeah. Green poop out some stars. Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop, poop, poop. Yeah.
And then he lifts up the bowl, Shaha
sha. And honest to God, I'm so hooked on these videos. Oh yeah. And now it's like I'm making an element for Jacob today. And I, I put the bacon bits in there. S shaah shaha. Hell yeah. That's freaking [00:59:00] dope. It's driving everybody in the house. Crazy. But I don't care. What's your toothpaste?
Mike: Shaha. Oh, no. Yeah.
Okay, kids, it's time to shoot this one in the head and kick it off the deck. Yep. Yep. What you just experienced is not a good sampling of all the other episodes. We, we do have some good stuff on there. Uh, we've
Darin: got lots of great episodes on irritable dad
Mike: cinder.com. Go visit us there. Follow us on the Facebook cuz we, we love to, to message and, and talk with people on the
Darin: Facebook.
We do, we're b we're big fans of our fans. Yeah. We'd love to hear from you. We really do. Unless you're complaining about a swishing happy birthday to somebody, then suck it. Then suck it. Yeah. All right. Yeah. We'll, hope to see you next week on Irritable Dad Syndrome.
Mike: Bye. Damn.
Dave: Irritable Dad Syndrome is produced and hosted and edited by Mike Odel and Darren [01:00:00] Cox, executive producer Mike Odel, head writer Darren Cox, announcer.
That's me. I'm Dave Lay. Legal representation. Andrew Jackson Gibbons, segment contributor, Jim Timmerman. Key Grip Steve Ferrell Wardrobe provided by Botany 500. Thanks for listening.
Darin: So, so you and I have a son who's the, uh, roughly the same age together? No, no, no. Oh, no, no. You, you'd think by now we would, you know,
Mike: dude, they did that with a mouse. Yeah, right. They got that in mouse. What? They they made a mouse from two dude mouses. They made a mouse from two dude mouses. Did you see that?
No. Yeah, they
Darin: made a mouse from two dude
Mike: mouses. Well, I, there's more, there's, there's some scientific jargon in there. Pinky in the
Darin: brain. What are we going to do tomorrow night? The same thing we do every night. Pinky tried take over the world.
Mike: Recording stopped.